How to tell kids when there’s a big life change

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amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:13 pm

Something the kid was always proud of for ex: “my totty is on hatzola” but totty is leaving hatzalah
Or family owned a business that kids love and everyone knew it was this family- but then the parents sell the business so kid no longer has that claim to fame

Etc

What’s the best way to share the news?
Esp if it’s emotional for the parents as well

amother

Yarrow

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:19 pm

Difficult to give advice without giving specifics.

Its always best to be as factual as possible.

Try to be as calm as possible.
Yes you can express youre upset but try and be as informative and factual as you can.

amother

Tealblue

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:20 pm

matter of factly. without teh emotions youre feeling. Youre emotions may make teh child feel like its more impactful in his life than he would have..

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:21 pm

amother Yarrow wrote:

So I’ll be selling my business that we are all very proud of. It’s too hard for me to run it and I can’t afford to hire more and I found a buyer for the right price. But it’s going to be a pretty big change emotionally for everyone! I’m most worried about the kids though. I loved that it made them feel cool, special…

It’s bittersweet not upset. I’ll have much more time for them to join on vacations with them etc

amother

Sand

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:22 pm

If they see that you’re okay with it they’ll be okay too (unless it will affect them on a regular basis-Iike a divorce)

amother

Starflower

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:29 pm

No long emotional introductions. Be direct and matter of fact. And let them know it's final and not because of them.

Kids, I'm going to be selling my business as this makes most sense for our family right now.

No I'm not going to change my mind

No it's not because of anyone

I've decided this makes the most sense for our family right now.

Hatzlacha in your new endeavors! Wishing you all the best!

Side point for you to come back in 6 months to read, it's a good idea to build kids up independent of outside factors like which business their parents own.

amother

Copper

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:31 pm

Can you phrase it as going into another stage. Instead of this was the business and I have to drop it. Maybe it can be more like starting a new chapter. Going from one stage to the next. 1st Mommy worked for a company, then I decided to start a business. Now that the business was doing well we decided it's a good time to sell it and spend more time with the kids....

amother

Ruby

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:31 pm

Focus on the positive aspects that you'll have time for them etc
Theyll likely be more than happy!!
Don't project your emotions on them

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:34 pm

You all are awesome thank you

I just davened to Hashem that me and my family should see the Brocha in our lives for what it is. Because it doesn’t help to have Brocha- one also needs to appreciate it! Thanks for helping me reframe for myself AND my kids

ellacoe

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:38 pm

This is a bit generic as the post isn't specific but some tips.
If it is bad news, then don't tell them in a public place. Don't tell them on or a near holiday. Because they will always associate it with the bad news. Tell them that they can ask you any questions they may have. They may not have questions on the spot, let them know that they can come to you whenever with questions.

amother

Daphne

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:55 pm

You got lots of good advice. Just wanted to add that you don’t necessarily need to tell everyone together if you have a range of ages. Each kid can hear according to what he needs to know or what he will want to know about.

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:56 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

You’re right. Thanks!

seeker

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 5:38 pm

They can still feel cool that their mom was the founder of this business even if you don't own it anymore! They can totally claim that credit. PLUS they get you more available.

Good luck!

thanks

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 5:54 pm

seeker wrote:

They can still feel cool that their mom was the founder of this business even if you don't own it anymore! They can totally claim that credit. PLUS they get you more available.

Good luck!

Yea, their Mom is so cool, she started a business, and then sold it. That's huge.
It's more businesses than I started and sold.

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:01 pm

thanks wrote:

Yea, their Mom is so cool, she started a business, and then sold it. That's huge.
It's more businesses than I started and sold.

😂
Kids don’t really understand what it means to sell a business and they’re too young for it to be beneficial for me to explain it

yachnabobba

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:52 pm

Simply factually and if it’s hard for you tell them straight ie
Mommy isn’t going to be the principal in bnos shmerel anymore. The hours were very long and the atmosphere made mommy sad and stressed. It’s going to be an adjustment for everyone.

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