Should they tell me or should I be checking?

amother

Apple

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 2:42 pm

amother Peachpuff wrote:

My son threw up and had a nosebleed on 2 different nights in the same house we were staying at.

It was a no brainer for me.
I washed his linen both times and scrubbed out the blood with hydrogen peroxide until it came out. I left the linen in perfect condition.

I think the host noticed I used her washing machine but I figured she would assume it was urine and that I didn’t want to say anything.

I even washed the mattress protector. Thank Gd they had one. And scrubbed the carpet where it got dirty.

Basic decency to leave everything in the condition you found it.

It doesn't work if your a shabbos guest & leave when shabbos is over. Taking home doesn't work if you don't live nearby to return it.

Personally I don't like guests stripping bedding but I don't say it as a command because if there is something embarrassing they don't want me to see they should by all means strip.

Op I get the frustration, it's just one of those things that happen.

amother

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 3:13 pm

I would never say anything!!!!
We don't have a lot of money and not being able to use a set of linen is upsetting to me, I was just wondering if there is a way to avoid this in the future.
Stains that I come across (since people asked) blood, makeup, dirt from luggage wheels or something like that.

watergirl

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 3:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Honestly, these kinds of stands are really minor. Once you wash the linen, it’s clean and you can still use it. Maybe not for a guest room for special or random guests, but for camp, for kids, even for my own bed I would use these sheets. Why not?

amother

Celeste

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 3:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

Since you have encountered rude guests staining linen multiple times, I would say you should very nicely tell people that you can't supply linen so they will have to supply their own. \

I mean at a certain point being gracious turns into being a doormat for rude people. There really is no excuse for leaving blood or urine stains on a private person's sheets (I.e. not a hotel you are paying for and so the hotel builds in the expense of linens). And who would put dirty luggage on a bed.

amother

Yolk

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 3:21 pm

Yes. They should tell you, but also you should expect that they probably won’t and that you should check.

The correct thing to do as a guest, is to tell your hostess so as to not ruin her linen (and also try to minimize her work).
Yet it is definitely uncomfortable and I will say I would be terribly embarrassed.

So I will tell guests to please speak up and hosted to check their linen.

amother

Yolk

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 3:22 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

Can I like this again

amother

Denim

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 3:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is the second time in 5 years, so not so often, but since it's happened twice I figured I'd ask.
I washed my guest linen and then when I went to make the beds again I see a stain. This is after I washed and dried the linen. I am a bit annoyed. I feel like the guest should either tell me there's a stain or leave it in a way that is obvious. Maybe if the linen was left on the beds I may have noticed but they stripped the linen and it was all in a ball.
Linen is huge, I don't inspect the for stains before putting them in. Now the stain is set in.
What is a reasonable expectation around this?

The lesson is no guest should ever be having relations in a host’s house! That’s what the Torah holds too. Common sense.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 4:00 pm

amother Denim wrote:

The lesson is no guest should ever be having relations in a host’s house! That’s what the Torah holds too. Common sense.

Really? I never learned this. Can you link the source? Thx

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 5:05 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

This reminds me of the time my husband had a nosebleed all over a bed while we were guests. It looked really bad!

So we took the offending linen with us, washed it and returned it. And let the host know their linen got stained and we would get the stain out and return it. (Or buy new if needed!)

I was so embarrassed but what else should we have done! Left linen that made it look like a murder took place?

This. I just had company who did the same thing.
She said she was really embarrassed but she bled on the sheets and she took her sheet and mattress protector home with her to wash. She returned it a few days later. This is the mature and responsible thing to do.

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 5:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is good advice, that way I can do a once over.

I agree. I tell guests not to strip the linen. It's harder for me if they strip it. I may not be ready to deal with it. And I don't like my linen waiting around in a ball. A once-over is important too with all laundry.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 8:27 pm

I'd hate it if any guest took my linen home with them whatever the reason. I'd rather they told me if it were stained but even if they don't, I'd be a lot more annoyed and angry that they took my linen home then if the stain got washed in...

amother

Ghostwhite

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 8:42 pm

How about leave a spray bottle of shout and laundry basket in the guest room and if they ask about stripping the linen say “yes pls, and you can spray any stains and dump in the laundry basket thank you.”

amother

Maple

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 8:49 pm

amother Brunette wrote:

I had this once... we were out of town for a simchas and had such nice accommodations...

My 4 yo son threw up in the linen on Friday night. There was nothing to do about it. I couldn't take it home and wash it.

After we left Motzai Shabbos, I sent her a text that the linen had throw up and that I was so, so sorry. I apologized profusely.

She was so, so gracious. I hope to never forget her warm response. I want to be a host like that.

in the future a good idea would be to rinse/wash out the vomit, asked the host for detergent and then put the linen in her washing machine and start the load. this way the host won't have to touch the vomit/pee/blood or any other gross bodily fluids and you won't have to deal with taking the dirty linen home and returning it.

amother

Broom

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 8:55 pm

While I feel for you op my priority would be I would never want to embarrass a guest. I like the idea of stain remover etc as it addresses both guest and host.
Tizki lmitzvos

Judy

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 9:30 pm

As a host: I usually tell my guest not to strip unless they do it bef I have a chance to tell them.
I usually check the linen before I wash it to make sure to treat stains.
As a guest: if there’s a stain I’ll wash the stain out by hand in sink. usually if it’s fresh it would come out even with but if soap.

And just letting you know even if you washed and dried the linen you can still remove the stain by soaking it in boiling water and Oxyclean powder for a little bit then make sure it’s out or give scrub if still needed and re wash.
Most stains will come out! I do this all the time.

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 9:38 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

She told me she was taking it and why! She didn’t just walk off with it. She didn’t want me to have to deal with it.

amother

Apple

Thu, Feb 23 2023, 9:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

Like someone already posted, if this is a persistent problem you'd be wise to purchase linen that won't show stains.

For blood stains try Windex. It works like magic in fresh stains, don't know about washed in ones