Why do people complain

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Feb 24 2023, 12:25 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

I’m trying to understand this . Who takes care of your kids and cooks and cleans and shops and does laundry ? Do you have hired help to do all those things ?

Most people who work have other people taking care of their kids. And cleaning help and fish sticks and frozen pizza. In real life, not imamother fantasy life.

Also, the years I worked my husband helped more in the house. Once I stayed home and he worked very, very full time, he didnt help me at all.

I found working easier.

amother

Seagreen

Fri, Feb 24 2023, 12:25 pm

BaltoMom65 wrote:

As someone who's been a SAHM , or worked part time for most of my mothering years- I agree! And I'm actually home with my kids ! No play groups, no babysitters and no cleaning help. Cry me a river

This really isn't a nice thing to say. I've also done both, both are hard. We're all entitled to complain and vent. There isn't always a different option, it doesn't mean we're not allowed to vent about the situation we're in.

amother

Mimosa

Fri, Feb 24 2023, 12:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why do SAHM complain!?!?!?!?
get yourself a job if you do not enjoy being at home the whole day.
consider yourself lucky that you can be home!!
If you do not like it- WORK (like most people do!)

I’m a sahm and I love it
I grew out with a lot of disfunction and it’s really healing for me to be able to stay home and spend all day with my baby
However I do find the lack of social interaction very hard I don’t need to get a job because of that but I am entitled to vent and try to come up with solutions to make this part easier so I can continue to be a sahm

amother

Yarrow

Fri, Feb 24 2023, 12:43 pm

There are pros and cons on both sides. I'm a working mother currently out on maternity leave and as much as the days can be long, hard, and draining, I really do enjoy it. There's something about a more laid back day (and I'm not exactly relaxing with my feet up).
I can also understand the loneliness that a SAHM can feel when you're surrounded by dishes, diapers, babies and toddlers all day. Grass is always greener...

LovesHashem

Sat, Feb 25 2023, 8:24 am

amother OP wrote:

That is my point- get a job and it won't be so hard!!

Or just don't have kids if it's so hard to be a parent.

/sarcasm alert

amother

Taupe

Sat, Feb 25 2023, 11:42 am

Natural to complain. I was BH' a SAHM. I loved it but it was so not easy. That was my decision. Does that mean I can't Kvetch? Families that decide to go to Denver for vacation, but for some reason don't have a great time. (The hotel was only 3 star, food was cold, Very far from Skiing). Yeah they should have had a great time but it doesn't always go as planned and they will Kvetch and the neighbor that is home with no money and 4 children during vacation time says ''why are you complaining?'' I did not have cleaning help, I had my children close together, we rarely went out to eat, and no vacations .Again, these were all our decisions, but I still might Kvetch when things got hard. That's life. you don't wanna listen, shut your door or don't read her post.

amother

SandyBrown

Sat, Feb 25 2023, 2:27 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

Really?? What a strange post! Being a sahm is a hundred times harder than working! I wish I had the capabilities to be a sahm!
Are you referring to people who don’t work and don’t have kids home with them? That’s another story

What is the other story with women who are not working but their kids are not at home with them? Why is it ok to be judgemental about someone in their shoes? 🤔

amother

Raspberry

Sat, Feb 25 2023, 2:30 pm

Some people enjoy complaining, I have a couple of friends like that and I really don't mind at all, they're great people it's just part of their nature.

amother

SandyBrown

Sat, Feb 25 2023, 2:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

That is my point- get a job and it won't be so hard!!

No, it would be harder. When you get a call to pick up your child early from school for example. Juggling working and being at home is no mean feat either.

amother

Brown

Sat, Feb 25 2023, 6:51 pm

Both are hard in their own ways, but working is definitely harder. Women that work FT have to leave the house early, commute, stay until 5, commute in traffic, come home and do dinner, clean up, prep for the next day, HW, bath etc. SAHM have it much easier (im currently on maternity leave and Im itching to go back to work)

amother

NeonGreen

Sat, Feb 25 2023, 7:25 pm

I worked ft and then pt until I had my 3rd. I was a sahm for many years, raising my kids. Dh was out all day. When my kids we're young, Dh didn't see the kids most mornings and came home most days in time for shema. It wasn't easy, no family nearby to help out.

I never complained. I loved raising my kids.

We had a conversation today about this. My kids are older now and I work FT. Kids all said that they appreciated having a parent home and available to them.