Boro Park - how do people do it?

doodlesmom

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 11:59 am

As the kichels comics say about Mishloach Monis I say it on fashion
Fashion can be 2 of 3 things: quick and easy/classy(stylish)/cheap.
You can do easy and classy but then it’s expensive, cheap and classy but then you need to spend time and effort….
It’s never 3 out of 3.

Reality

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:15 pm

amother Beige wrote:

do we live in a different bp?

I don't live in BP anymore. But growing up my neighbors all did that and when I lived there as an adult all my neighbors did that too.

I'm happy if the ladies of BP have moved on from such practices.

amother

Electricblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:39 pm

doodlesmom wrote:

Getting 2 out of 3 in terms of ease, elegance and economy dates back to Peg Bracken's famous 1960 "I Hate to Cook Book." It's not the kichels comics.
כל המביא דבר בשם אומרות מביא גאולה לעולם

crust

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:58 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I soak my shirts for 8 hours in hot water with OXI white packets then I wash it with tide. And they are stunning

Btdt. It just became grayer.

And yes I used water softener and what not.

I've exhausted all the practical advice from all my lovely Hungarian balboosta family and friends.

The solution is to move to a place with a better water situation.

I really don't want to further derail this thread. I like the topic.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 1:09 pm

OP the families have 2 nice everyday outfits for their children. When they go on an outing they get dressed. At home the mother and daughters are wearing robes. This is not the clothing they wear to school. Most have a uniform. after school its a robe or simple t-shirt and skirt. They know how to look good and figure it out. Ears are pierced as a baby, and bracelets. Hair is done neatly. It's a look. I could not pull something like this off. It's a personality, and making sure children follow it. ( get changed, put on a robe, hang up the outfits when coming home).

amother

Beige

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:34 pm

amother Gardenia wrote:

What about maternity clothing?
I went to shavy jaffes class and all the girls with me were chassidish. Their clothing was beyond stunning so I figured ill go to BP and willi to check out the maternity stores... do people really spend $100 on a plain top? I felt so dumb walking out of the store. But I also love how put together chassidish women always look!

If you're willing to go with a minimalistic wardrobe you can spend $100 on a top.

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 5:23 pm

crust wrote:

I live in Brooklyn. I soak in nature bright and my shirts are stark white.

amother

Hibiscus

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 5:30 pm

Reality wrote:

I live in BP since Im born and moved a few times. I don’t agree with 1 thing you posted. Sorry

flowerpower

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 5:33 pm

amother Ruby wrote:

My kids and I don’t own robes. We wear regular clothes when we are home (granted, I wear cute hoodies and a slinky). My kids own a regular wardrobe and wear that when they are home. They stay in their uniforms until they take a bath usually.

imaima

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 6:59 pm

Reality wrote:

The poor should walk around in holey rags? That will make you feel better?

The people who can't afford, buy 2 outfits for their kids and constantly wash. They are super meticulous about their laundry and work really hard to get out every stain.

There are certain things in chassidish culture I have never seen anywhere else. I don't think they realize it is any different than anyone else.

First of all, many mothers feed their children until a very old age. Many will also feed all siblings from the same bowl and spoon. This keeps their clothes clean and cuts down on housework. I don't agree with it personally but I have witnessed first hand, countless times, mothers feeding six year old children, kids even older, who knows.

When their babies swim/crawl, regardless if they are boys or girls, they put tights over their clothes to keep them from getting stained. I've also seen mothers put only tights and a onesie on their babies, again regardless if boys or girls, in the house and only dress in real clothes in public, to keep their outfits pristine.

In general, they value keeping their children looking perfect and matching. So they spend a lot of effort maintaining it. There is no magic secret!

I do the same with babies. Who needs an outfit at home if it’s just family?

amother

White

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:04 pm

I think another aspect of looking put together is making sure that the clothing fits well. Pants that are slightly too baggy or a skirt that's not the right length will look shlumpy. I have relatives who knh have large families and cant afford high end clothing. They're kids still look like a million dollars in tottini or hm clothing because they are skilled with a sewing machine.

Happykind

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:39 pm

Great posts.

It’s all a matter of priorities. It’s high high priority to look good, clean and put together. Matching too. When something’s priority you make it work.

I also find the longer you live there the more you figure it out.. it’s a culture.

amother

Wine

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:44 pm

crust wrote:

It could be the brand of the shirts.

amother

Jasmine

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 11:05 pm

amother Viola wrote:

Here's what we don't do which might help explain things.

We don't do 20000 seminaries for our Daughters
We don't support our learning couples
We don't spend on landscaping
Our property taxes are cheaper
Everything is local so travel expenses are minimal
Most of our Chasidisha schools charge a joke for tuition
Our groceries are cheaper
Many of u run a 2 working parents household
Most of us do not shop clothing local
We don't own expensive gadgets and latest cars. Most of us own one basic vehicle.
The beautifully dressed people you saw live in tiny cheap apartments
Some choose to buy 1 expensive dress rather than 4 basic cheaper ones...
We rarely do restaurants I know I'm not speaking on behalf of all of bp but eating out in expensive local restaurants happen less than 1x in 2+ yrs.

My grandmother used to have a sweet yidish saying loosely translated as "if you don't understand something you don't know something". Like if you see a situation that doesn't make sense be aware that you're missing info. Nobody has it all an does it all. Its an illusion and woe is to those that try to parrot it.

So well said!!!!! Wow!

amother

Geranium

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 11:11 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

So well said!!!!! Wow!

Other than tuition and perhaps seminary (there are plenty who don't go, or who work for years to pay for it themselves) this would describe lots of yeshivish people, as well. (Landscaping, lol. No.)
And most young yeshivish kollel couples that I know are self supporting. The wives are a bit older and have finished college/are settled into a decent job, enough for a young couple for sure.
Sure there are a few rich fully supported ones, but as many as you'd think from this site.

amother

Tuberose

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 12:00 am

I shop for my kids on Alivibes. I think they look just as "fancy" as the rest of boro park. Their clothes are up-to-date and matching and really adorable. (and I'm just plain me... My wigs are washed regularly, I wear make-up, decent shoes...)

amother

Honeysuckle

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 6:19 am

I come from a Chassidish community pretty similar to BP.

Some friends are from there and some from more yeshivish communities a few hours away.

Let me tell you the difference.

My stroller gets washed in the washing machine twice a month, the frame gets washed down and scrubbed, the basket of the stroller is empty besides for wipes and diapers in the small pocket.

My sheitel gets washed and set proffessionally every 6 weeks.

I have 3 tops and a dress. Each is about 80-150 dollars.

A bunch of cheaper well fitted t shirts for in doors.

I wear a robe on shabbos to keep my 1-2 outfits pristine.

My yeshivish friends' strollers are sometimes filthy and always loaded with who knows what. Blankets, snacks, bottles and toys stuffed in the bastket left over from last month.

They complain that their sheitels are not good because it needs a wash and set more than twice a year. Not kidding! They will do it themselves or get a friend to do it but I guess it looks that way for a reason.

They have loads of cheaper clothing so they keep on changing but nothing looks perfect.

They wear their shabbos clothes and shoes in the park!!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of it but there are differences.