Where do you live and do you like it?

amother

Coral

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:11 pm

I live in a smaller OOT update NY community.

My biggest plus is that the materialism pressures are much less intense here than in more cosmopolitan or larger communities. Also, there is more tolerance of a spectrum of orthodoxy. Folks feel more comfortable embracing what they do vs doing it to meet social expectations.

The biggest negative is since the community is smaller (only 2 shuls) and most people know each other, are related to each other, and/or are somewhat friendly with each other, it's really traumatic for the abusive victims that have lived here. Both CSA and DV. Typically, such victims end up OTD and/or leaving and/or still frum but self-isolating to protect themselves. For the majority of people, I guess it doesn't matter....but for the minority who have been abuse victims, it's destroyed a lot of neshamas.

amother

Crystal

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:12 pm

amother Camellia wrote:

Replying to the bolded at the bottom here. I live in Baltimore now for over ten years. I'm a born and bred in towner so I get both worlds.

What does it mean and WE like it that way? Assuming you're referring to your family? There is no collective WE in Baltimore where everyone likes and dislikes the same things. Some posters here make it seem like we're all robots, programmed to all like the same things. Some people like mixed schools and blocks and some don't. Some like sushi and some don't......we all dislike or like different things about Baltimore but anyone here must have more likes than dislikes or they would leave. But please do not think that EVERYONE is the same here and EVERYONE likes this or that..... I hate when people write that. That's misguided achdus and not what it's all about.

I love Baltimore because there is no pressure to conform to all the gashmiyus. There are fancy people, trendy people, simple people, you do you and no one cares. My kids stick with their type. It's rare to see a yeshivish kid or klei kodesh kid going over to an MO kid house to play but it can happen and with that type of friendship usually the MO kid ends up frummer, not the other way around, in my experience. Point is they are all in school together from chasidish to MO and it works. There is a chasidish school and there is an MO school for those strictly at either end. Other schools are mostly community schools.

I hate that stores and restaurants close mostly by 9, a few at 11 but I heard it's to prevent hangouts, don't know if that's true.

Wow. Yes. We = my family. We like it that way. I'm sorry.

amother

Poinsettia

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:14 pm

s1 wrote:

Pretty sure there was rain and snow today too. I love Manchester, only place you can get four seasons in one day. Love the community, not too big , not too small, diverse and accepting. Can’t imagine living anywhere else.

Yes! Although I wasn't sure if the hail caused it to look like it snowed, or if it actually did snow Smile

plenty rain too ☔😏

amother

Cantaloupe

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:22 pm

I am going to be original. I live in BP and love it here. I love the convenience of walking to the shops anytime I need anything. My kids can walk everywhere and don’t rely on me to carpool. My kids have company all the time as well. My husband has so many choices of shuls to daven in- makes his life easier.

amother

Camellia

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:38 pm

amother Crystal wrote:

Wow. Yes. We = my family. We like it that way. I'm sorry.

Ok, thanks for clarifying. Just some posters on here who are always saying "EVERYONE in Baltimore likes ______" and "EVERYONE in Baltimore came here because_____" and EVERYONE in Baltimore doesn't want ______". I'm so used to that on here and it's just not reality.

Baltimore is amazing in so many ways for anyone who can handle that there are different types and not everyone will be like them. It's a huge city, I believe over 5,000 frum families, with all the amenities of in town, OOT feel and culture, over 50 shuls, tons of schools, stores, restaurants and close enough to Lakewood for anything you can't get here.

If you're coming straight from BP or Lakewood it's a huge adjustment, I know people who have done it and it took them about 3 or 4 years to love it here. Not as much of a matzav here but enough happening that it's still fun once you get used to it. Monsey has an easier time. Smaller out of town places, also have a hard time adjusting because it's too in towny for them. But most not only adjust, but end up not wanting to go back to where they came from.

amother

Ultramarine

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:49 pm

I live in Passaic and I love it.
It's a very Torahdik town, unity among the rabbonim, achdus among different types, people are courteous, drivers don't cut you off, people smile at you even if they don't know you, most people bring the shopping carts back and clear off their table at the pizza shop, a city of growth in bein adam l'chavero and bein adam l'makom.

amother

Pink

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:54 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

I'm so happy to see so many people living it up where they live. I live in monsey and hate it. A lot of unfriendly people (where I live) and I always wish I have more people to do outings with, or party , or do anything fun. It's nothing major here at all . A very quiet place. I wish to move to a different city. Now after I saw people mentioning baltomore (not sure if I spelled it correctly) it got me thinking that it might not be a bad idea for us to look into. Is school situation hard to get in there? I'm honestly very miserable in monsey. I don't have family here either, And shabbos and yt is the hardest that I'm always in my house since I have no where to go, never get invited anywhere. I'm wishing to move to a more welcoming , friendlier, community that feels like family.

Phlox, which area are you in? I also find the Monsey lifestyle to be so lonely. I wish I could find a neighborhood here that is warm, like my Brooklyn neighbors were.

And I have wished I could move to Baltimore for years, but dh won't hear of it.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 3:15 pm

amother Pink wrote:

Actually old monsey was really warm. Then I got city neighbors they were so cold. I lived in my last house 5 years never stepped into anyone’s house they were all city people with my previous neighbors I still have an amazing relationship

amother

Iris

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 3:35 pm

I grew up on the UWS so might be able to answer Wink

It's pretty chilled in many ways. I didn't feel a pressure to dress a certain way or anything. There are all types of people. There is the convenience of being able to walk or take public transportation to many places so you aren't as car dependent. things are open late. beautiful parks....there are plenty of restaurants and "culture" nearby if thats your thing. many shuls. In terms of jobs, you are often closer to work so there isn't as long of a commute.

amother

Orange

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:16 pm

amother Aconite wrote:

So sorry to write this, but you actually are not meant to say you hate or any loshon hora about Eretz Yisroel.
I never get involved in discussions here but it really gave me a bad feeling to see this written here.

In her defence, have you ever been to BB?

I live not far but not in BB, though I have family there and visit often. It's the one place that I think foreigners will have an extremely difficult time adapting to.

Many people love living there thus the high housing pricing and tiny living quarters but I really don't judge her.

You're right about LH, but before you judge, step into her shoes for a moment.

amother

Opal

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:20 pm

amother Pink wrote:

My biggest struggle with Monsey was that I had warmer neighbors in the city that were like family to me. I had the shock of my life when I moved to Monsey and discovered that not all neighbors are like family. It was a hard adjustment. By now I’m used to a quiet , lonely life.

amother

Skyblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:29 pm

amother Cerise wrote:

Baltimore native. Liked it better before it became so unaffordable and crowded...

Another Baltimoron. It isn’t crowded, but I think we have to decide if we’re in town or out of town. Right now we have the best of both worlds with sky high tuition and sky high housing prices and expensive food.