Convince My husband to go to concert...?

amother

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 9:35 am

There is a mens concert this week that my son would love to go to.

My husband really doesnt like these sort of singers and doesnt like all the hype and celebrity status

I dont know anyone my son can go with other then my husband.
I Dont feel comfortable asking his friends parents and I know he reall wants to go.

My husband took him last year and I know hes not thrilled to do it again.

I wonder if its fair to push him to go..? If so , how?

If this was a womens thing id totally take my daughter.
Iv been swimming with hr and done things Im not comfortable with, because I was the only option..

amother

Bisque

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 9:37 am

If he's not in agreement hashkafically (spelling?) Then he shouldn't be made to go or have his son go. I get it.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 9:37 am

Yes he should take him. We spend quality time with our kids doing things they love, we don’t have to find it entertaining. He can go entertain himself at another time. If the only reason your son can’t go is because his father doesn’t feel like it, that is really selfish.

amother

cornflower

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 9:51 am

I strongly disagree with “getting my husband” to do anything
He is an adult man, he made a decision, respect it.
It’s not what you would have chosen to do in his place? Now you have the opportunity to demonstrate to your son the beautiful marriage you have, showing respect and not arguing with Hubs decision for himself. That has a greater benefit than any concert he would go to

amother

Crystal

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 9:52 am

Why would you force your husband to do something he's not hashkafikally comfortable with? Why would you want to send your son to a place your husband is not comfortable with? Parents must be on the same page hashkafikally when it comes to chinuch.

amother

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 10:35 am

Sorry I agree the title is wrong.
I cant and wouldnt force him.
Its not against his haskkafos at all, he just doesnt like the way singers are lauded.

He likes other type of music. He does go to concerts but only certain type of singers.

amother

Crystal

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 11:00 am

amother OP wrote:

The bolded is hashkafik standards.

amother

Jasmine

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 11:03 am

Does he mind if son goes?
does he know how much he wants to go?
can you brainstorm possibilities with him? a relative, friend, etc...

does ds know a friend going? can he ask friend to ask parent? and then you call? a young rebbe/teacher/friend/mentor who you could ask and even hire for the time?

amother

Bisque

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 11:15 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

There are many ways to spend time with our kids, let dh choose a situation he's comfortable with. I can understand letting ds go if he really wants to so he's not resentful but it can be with a friend.

We don't have to do all the things to be a good parent.

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 11:44 am

amother Crystal wrote:

The bolded is hashkafik standards.

I don't think it is hashkafic,
Sounds more like today's music isn't his taste and is making it into a hashkafic issue.
Lots off people are like that, they can't get get into the changing trends in music and only like the singers that they grew up with.

salt

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 3:15 am

How old is your son?
Can he go with a friend, and your DH would take them to the door, even to their seat, and then wait for them outside and take them home at the end?

Doesn't sound like he's against your son going, he just doesn't fancy sitting through it himself.

ETA (oh I see this was a few days ago, maybe the concert's been already)

amother

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 5:14 am

Thanks.

No it hasnt been yet.

The indifference is getting to me.

He just point blank told him no he cant go with him, maybe we can find someone.

I go out my comfort zone all the time for my kids!!
But he hasnt done a thing.
And its mens only.

Also my son is not the easiest child.
I dont want to ask any men to take him.
I think it is my husbands job to sort it out if at all. Or he should go himself

Its so frustrating.
I feel nebach for my son that he didnt even get angry at my husband.
He just accepted it.
Infuriates me.

imasinger

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 5:39 am

While I can understand that you disagree with your DH's opinion about the concert, and, perhaps more importantly, have concerns that maybe he doesn't care enough about DS to push his comfort zone further, I want to gently suggest that you might make things worse by harping on this.

You say that DH took DS last year. That means he tried it. He didn't like it, and decided "no more".

That's an important role model for a teen or young adult too. One doesn't always have to agree to push one's comfort zone in order to give a child something they want. It's okay to say no. It would have been okay for you to say no to DD re swimming, and it's okay for DH to say no to the concert.

You're calling it "indifference". Others might call it a reasonable boundary.

Please let it go. It sounds like DS has.

amother

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 7:28 am

Thanks.

He didnt 'accept' it.

He accepted that my husband is not planning to take him, but he is still desparate to go.

I dont feel comfortable asking other men to take him and my husband has done zilch.

ROFL

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 7:55 am

Ask your sons friends mothers if they are going to the concert. Ask if your son can join them. Your DH has a conflict and can’t attend that time.
Thanks

amother

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 8:14 am

Thanks.

Hes too young to go alone and needs a father or older brother to go with him.

Its men only.
And I dont feel comflrtable asking anyone.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 8:48 am

singleagain wrote:

OP where are you uncomfortable to ask someone else to take you DS?

She said:

Also my son is not the easiest child.
I dont want to ask any men to take him.
I think it is my husbands job to sort it out if at all.