Playgroup Morahs | Imamother

amother

Brass

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 7:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you've maxed out on all your vacation days and then your child is running 103 fever, or your child has a chumash play, what will you do? Take an unpaid day. Right?

If my child is running 103 fever, or a child has a chumash play and I've made hundreds of calls and can't find a sub, what should I do? Cancel playgroup that day. Right?

Except if I cancel, you'll yell at me, badmouth me to all the neighbors and threaten me.

You have 1 employer. I have 10. And I have to jump to every single one of their demands, whether it's physically possible for me to or not.
And then we wonder why there's such a shortage of playgroup Morahs and babysitters and what should you do because you NEED to go back to work already.

Yes. This. I agree with everything the OP says. I am also a playgroup morah and I find that every year parents' expectations of me get higher and higher. And no I"m still charging under $400 for 9-2, I have not raised prices at all. Even though in many professions the salaries have been raised. And.. if I need a sub I am paying $30/hr which is probably slightly more than I am earning per hour. I have a high adult-to-child ratio for safety reasons.
Its not just here on imamother. Its in real life too. I am thinking of leaving this field, I have not taken registration yet for next year because of this. I am so torn. I love the kids and love my job, but I cant take the parents anymore! I am human, please treat me as a human. I am the one who loves your children all day when you have to be at work, please treat me with respect!

21young

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Way before I max out my PTO I work nights and weekends because my job demands it. Do we really want to compare the pros and cons? We know that different jobs have pros and cons, and we can’t just go against office policy because things are hard.
I don’t want to get petty, but if my child had fever and I have a crucial meeting at work I’ve done crazy things that give me major guilt years later because I had no choice; I had to be at the meeting. Same to the times the morah took off without advance notice.
When I had a miscarriage I took off the day of the d and c and was back at work the next day. I made sure to schedule the d and c for a Friday because I couldn’t afford to lose more than a half day of pay.
I also have the unique position of being an employee, a manager of other employees, and do freelance work on the side. I have 20 bosses, same as you.
Again, Morahs will receive feedback based on their behavior, same as any employee during their annual review. And I proudly post this under my screen name, as Hashem has given me overall the most wonderful Morahs.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 2:54 am

If a Morah is charging $750 for 10 kids- let's establish something here. She has the right to. It's a free world. You don't like, don't send there.
But- that Morah needs to understand that she is earning $7500 a month. Without a degree. That's a lot of money. So , that Morah in my opinion can't complain. Why? Bec nobody is forcing her to stay in the job. If she can't take the heat- then leave. This is the job. Parents sometimes complain. Sometimes you need to get a sub. $7500 a month and to still complain...
And yes- that Morah doesn't qualify for teacher certificates , gift cards etc - Bec she is making a lot of money!
I don't know if that Morah who charges $750 or not is complaining but if she is she's not very bright.

salt

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 5:17 am

amother OP wrote:

3) I don't get paid maternity. Not a cent. I don't just pay my entire salary to the sub, I pay more. Practically that means that I can't decide to get pregnant until I have an extra 6k lying around. And I'm usually expected to be back at 5 weeks or so.

Just out of interest, why don't you get maternity leave?
In Israel you pay national insurance, and from that money you get maternity pay.
Isn't that how it works in the States?

amother

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 6:37 am

amother Jetblack wrote:

Just fyi, if the Morah would charge $200 and only take 5 kids (meaning making only $1000 a month) she still wouldn't be getting teacher certificates and gift cards.
Nothing to do with how much money she makes.

amother

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 6:39 am

salt wrote:

Just out of interest, why don't you get maternity leave?
In Israel you pay national insurance, and from that money you get maternity pay.
Isn't that how it works in the States?

Nope. I've looked into it exhaustively.
If anyone wants to show me links to a way that I can get paid maternity leave, please do.
But as far as I'm aware, maternity leave comes from the employer.

honey36

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 7:08 am

Thanks OP for all you do! I love love love my babies morah, they are the best!

I would never get mad at the morah for taking of when she needs to. I would prefer advance notice, but 99% of the time she lets me know well in advance.

This is similar to the sheitel thread. Of course morahs can raise their prices! People are like "what are they doing with all that extra money? What do they need it for?" Lol. Believe me, my morahs and sheitel marchers are not raking it in. They live very simply. Their using their money for the same basics we all are. Remember how much frum life costs?

BH my job is flexible and it's not a problem for me. If I had a job that was not flexible, I would probably pay more for a morah who has an assistant so there is a built in sub for emergencies or send to a daycare which basically never close. Too much stress otherwise.

amother

RosePink

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 7:31 am

amother Jetblack wrote:

But- that Morah needs to understand that she is earning $7500 a month. Without a degree. That's a lot of money.
And yes- that Morah doesn't qualify for teacher certificates , gift cards etc - Bec she is making a lot of money!
I don't know if that Morah who charges $750 or not is complaining but if she is she's not very bright.

Nobody "qualifies" for gift cards. It is just a cultural/societal norm whether or not a worker receives from their clients. The only reason why it has become the norm for teachers to get, is the trickle down effect from the rebbeim getting cash all these years. Years ago when I started teaching, it was unheard of for women teachers to get tips or checks or gift cards, other than maybe a little something from the PTA around chanukah time. (Think a total of $18.) It's only much more recently that it's become a thing and even that is location dependent.
Furthermore, if you understand economics, you realize she's not clearing anything close to $7,500 in monthly profit. A large chunk is going for expenses: supplies, an assistant, possibly rent if it's notvin her home, extra utilities usage etc. A playgroup morah that runs it well and does not cut corners isn't raking it in.
As far as the person asking about maternity leave, as someone else said, that's entirely employer dependent. The government doesn't provide paid leave for someone who is self employed. That does not exist in the U.S.

amother

Cinnamon

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 7:39 am

amother OP wrote:

Nope. I've looked into it exhaustively.
If anyone wants to show me links to a way that I can get paid maternity leave, please do.
But as far as I'm aware, maternity leave comes from the employer.

You can purchase separate insurance for maternity leave, there’s a company that advertises this in The Voice or the BP.

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 7:50 am

amother OP wrote:

I agree that the worst of the nastiness is on Imamother.
But I'm finding it happening more and more irl also. Complaining when I raise my prices. Complaining that I'm taking off starting Friday (I'm working, what should I do with my child) when I distributed a schedule in August.

Yes irl people are not nasty. However let's be real, of course parents will be upset at raising prices and not being available on fridays. Why do you expect otherwise?

amother

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 7:58 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

Yes irl people are not nasty. However let's be real, of course parents will be upset at raising prices and not being available on fridays. Why do you expect otherwise?

Taking off THIS Friday, as written in the calendar distributed in August, not taking off Fridays in general.

And re prices raising. Do *you* yell and scream and threaten the grocery owners for raising the milk and bread prices? The gas stations? The electric company?
So why do Morahs get such vitriol

amother

Nasturtium

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 8:18 am

21young wrote:

When I had a miscarriage I worked all day in my playgroup, fasting. Then took a car to the city, had a D&C in the hospital, came home and worked the next day. Had a baby Friday night, was back at work Tuesday morning (nurse to take care of baby could not bring into playgroup until 2 months old). I never got to go to any chumash plays, siddur plays, birthday parties...On another thread a nasty poster called me "old fashioned" though she has no clue whatsoever who I am or how I ran my playgroup. But if what I described is old fashioned, let the shoe fit.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 8:19 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes, of course I vent at them. The vent though is in comparison to the impact. The amount of $$, how often it affects me, etc.

I don't vent in their faces, just like I don't do it in the Morahs faces. I do it anonymously or privately in my home.

amother

Nasturtium

Mon, Mar 27 2023, 8:25 am

I would like to add that over the years I became more careful and adjusted my hours to discourage "working mothers" from sending to my playgroup. I started at 9:15 instead of 9:00 and I stopped offering an extended hour from 3:00-4:00. While I still had mothers with jobs they were mostly in therapy fields or chinuch or they had full time housekeepers. I never took off a day more than the norm (in fact I was open when the main local community school was off many times) but I did not appreciate the kick the dog stress a few working moms would sometimes pass down to me. BH that did the trick for me and I had beautiful relationships with all the parents. At least to my face lol.