What do u wish u wud've known re Irish twins

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children

1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 12:58 am

Or children born close together
Due soon with my second bezras Hashem and although I'm super excited I'm also starting to feel nervous
All tips and advice and chizuk welcome

scintilla

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 1:08 am

You will survive
They will survive
Everyone will survive LOL

That was my mantra in the first few weeks and it really helped!

Also just know that they iyh will likely have an amazing bond, mine are 1 & 2 now and they are literally best buddies and won't do anything without each other. Having that in mind helped me a lot.

More practically, I tried not to say to my older one, I can't pick you up now because I'm doing x with the baby, rather mommy's not available now, I can pick you up in one minute/I can blow you a kiss etc. Ie don't blame the baby.

When I came home from the hospital, I first reunited with my older baby and only after a good 15 minutes of quality time, reading books etc did I have someone bring in the baby. So he didn't walk in & see me holding a new baby & feel replaced.

Don't make the bigger baby (my words here are intentional! They're still a baby!) feel pressure to grow up, be the big one etc. I would always tell him you're mommy's baby, etc.

Get as much help as you can, and when you can't, refer above - every situation will pass! Do your best and take care of yourself as much as you can. For myself, I needed to get out the house so I got a good double stroller as soon as I could (at first I wore the newborn and used the single stroller, was easier and less of an adjustment for the bigger baby) and we got out every day.

When the younger one was very little, I wore them & made supper during the bigger one's naptime; when they got a little older, they napped together whenever possible even if it ruined the rest of the day, I needed my quiet time. But that took months honestly.

You can do this! It will be an awesome ride and so much fun and craziness and oh my two tiny toddlers helping each other...I just laugh and laugh and take pictures. You have so much to look forward to.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 1:10 am

No need to be nervous. It will be ok

That said my first 2 are about a year apart. My second was my hardest adjustment. I have had others eith similar age gaps. The adjustment was still not as hard

It's important to have ur first sleeping through the night and on a good sleep schedule. 2 up at night is not easy.

amother

Blue

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 1:22 am

It's a wild ride -but a fun one!

It took until the younger one was a year for me to catch my breath and feel like a human again.
Most important for me was maintaining and creating a schedule - no going out Friday nights or nap times etc.

I don't Iump them together and try to give each of them some alone time.

Now that the younger one ‘caught up’ they're the cutest pair and take care of each other and tease in the most adorable ways. (1.5 + 2.5)

Fresh air and a 15 min break as soon as my husband walked in the door was crucial.

If possible - hire help - cleaning, arrange chased program girls etc. Even if you're on site - you're not hands on.

Enjoy the journey!

And I’ve come to realize - all mommy’s look smiley and the kids adorable when outside - you’re not seeing the messy counters and dirty diapers - peace will return give yourself grace

amother

Grape

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 1:55 am

My kids are ten months apart. Second one was preemie. Ever since then, no matter the age gap, I've learned to let the baby sleep a lot during the day so I can give attention to the older child. After bedtime was when I had time to play with the baby. And by 11 usually was bedtime for the baby and myself.
Feeding times include books being read to the older child thats sitting right next to me on the couch.
Try to schedule naptimes the same time so you get a break midday. I was one of the "lucky" ones that my older one dropped her nap at 16 months!
The memories I have are priceless! It was just us and babies and whatever schedule we chose. No buses yet.
Lots of nachas!!!

amother

Lavender

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 2:01 am

My Irish triplets ( is that a thing?) are all grown now. Those early years are a bit of a blur - they were hectic and overwhelming, but also full of fun and joy. I honestly miss that time of my life despite my current quiet and calm home now.
I can't think of a particular thing I wish I had known, I just winged it for the most part and went with the flow. I had a few more children after that, but not so closely spaced

amother

Orchid

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 7:25 am

Here is something to reflect on:
I AM an Irish twin (11 months between myself and younger sis)- we grew up best friends- and 60 yrs later: still are.
I also have Irish twins- my first two being 11 months apart- it has been a wild ride- but never boring!

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 7:36 am

Mine are 10 months apart since younger one a preemie(common when getting pregnant so soon after giving birth). Best thing that happened to me. They are same size and always matching best best friends fight a ton too..I did everything at same time. Same baths together. Bedtimes together. Same babysitter. This makes things a lot easier

amother

Eggplant

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 7:48 am

It’s so manageable
I wish everyone else would have known not to make stupid comments
My boys are 17 and 18 now

BShaah Tovah

amother

Chambray

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 8:32 am

Slightly OT but I hate the term Irish twins.

The term comes from the idea that Irish catholics don’t use birth control so having two babies within 12 months must be lack of BC. Ir feels at best not tznius. I know that’s not how frum people mean it but I find it so weird.

amother

Blue

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 8:52 am

amother Chambray wrote:

Thanks for pointing that out

amother

Blonde

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 10:10 am

Going through this now, my babies are 14 months apart. I was terrified (Baby is the best BC surprise!)
Yes, I’m drowning in diapers and bottles and bibs and paci’s but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I thank Hashem every day for this amazing gift. My babies are still very little (19 months and 5 months) and already the bond between them is priceless! It’s amazing! The big one is the most protective brother of his little sister and she lights up and kicks her feet excitedly when he walks into the room!
My older one wasn’t walking yet when my younger one was born- thank you Hashem for 2 hands! Once he started walking things got easier.
I’m still in the thick of it and in the beginning we just took things day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute. Time passes quickly though some days feel endless. You will get through it!
Hatzlacha!

amother

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 10:19 am

What kind of double stroller is good for going in and out of the car often? I'm still using the doona for the older one now

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 10:26 am

amother OP wrote:

What kind of double stroller is good for going in and out of the car often? I'm still using the doona for the older one now

Look at the city tour double. It's a more compact version of the city mini double and it folds amazingly small and it's really easy to fold. My friend has it and highly recommends it to everyone.

amother

Gold

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 10:33 am

I had the mountain buggy nano twin, folds very easy and small but once the babies get older it’s a little hard to push. It has small wheels. Now I have the valco I’m loving it all the way. The fold is easy but not so small.

Batsheva1

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 10:37 am

The first year is very difficult. After that it's amazing. The siblings become best friends and always have a playmate (and that's for life.) My daughters are now 30 and 31. They are still very close. One of them has only one child (I understand it. She has different circumstances than I had) who is now 3. Her daughter (my granddaughter) is often bored. She wants attention all the time and for people to constantly play with her. If she had a sibling, this wouldn't be the case. She would have a built in friend but everyone has different circumstances and such is life.
I agree with the poster that said the hardest adjustment was from one to two kids especially when they are very close in age. After that, I knew what to do and the adjustments to more kids went smoothly. So again, remember it is very difficult at first but after a year it becomes easier and you're giving your children a gift. They love each other and are best friends and this is especially true because they are so close in age.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 12:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

What kind of double stroller is good for going in and out of the car often? I'm still using the doona for the older one now

I have the Valco slim twin it folds with one hand and has some great features like a hood that goes low and big basket and pretty comftorable seats... but its not the smoothest wheels usually its fine by now my kids are a bit older so it feels a bit heavy when I walk far (3 and 1.5)

amother

Forsythia

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 12:12 pm

For me the second pregnancy was the hardest part, forced to stop nursing ( I tried but couldn't) & the surprise of it all. But once baby #2 came along it all just fell into place & since I just did the baby thing it was very smooth sailing. After a few months both babies were on the same schedule & it felt like twins!

My only regret is having worried during the second pregnancy.

I wish I'd have the courage to do it again. It was really fun!

amother

Tan

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 12:17 pm

I'm not OP but reading the comments here is making me feel so much calmer. I have my first 2 kids 15 months apart. They are now 10 months and just over 2. It's good to hear that I'm almost to the finish line of craziness and survival mode!

amother

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 12:31 pm

[quote="amother Tan"]I'm not OP but reading the comments here is making me feel so much calmer. I have my first 2 kids 15 months apart. They are now 10 months and just over 2. It's good to hear that I'm almost to the finish line of craziness and survival mode![/quote
And here I'm thinking a year sounds like an awful long time to be on survival mode lol Hiding

I think my current biggest fears are choosing a stroller that will be practical for in and out of car and how the older one will manage while I'm at the hospital I don't really have the headspace to think further
But I do plan to come back here and re read these after the birth

Page 1 of 3

1 2 3 Next