More options for Sefardim in e"y or America

amother

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 9:33 am

It seems that there are more options for sefardim in e"y than in NY (from my experience).
We currently live in NY now. We are looking to move to a yeshivish community with frum schools that has one sefardi shul and it seems impossible to find. We live in a community now with mostly one type of sefardi sect. They're lovely people, but the davening, minhagim etc are different.

And before anyone says "sefardim= sefardim" its not true, they're all different.

In e"y when we visit family, theres a sefardi minyan on every block.

Are we looking for a unicorn? A community with sefardi minyanim and strong established bais yaakov schools and yeshivas? We're a regular frum yeshivish family, I wear a sheital and my husband learned in ashkenaz yeshivas but we are very much sefardi in the way we run our home both in halacha and minhagim etc.

BadTichelDay

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 9:49 am

Off hand, I'd say chances of finding what you are looking for must be better in EY. Statistically, half the Jewish population in EY is of sefardic/eidot ha-mizrach origin and there are thousands of shuls and schools. However, how much that blends in, or if there are any that overlap with American yeshivish, I do not know. I think I've heard that some Bais Yaakov schools do cater specifically to Sefardic girls (I'm DL so my knowledge of that is fuzzy at best).

amother

Valerian

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 9:59 am

I’m sefardi in ny and it’s very lonely here. As far as I know there’s no real sefardi community here.
Was thinking of moving to Baltimore because it’s more accepting of different types including sefardi but husband likes the in town conveniences and hustle bustle.
Israel is my dream. You’ve got a land full of your people.

amother

Navy

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 9:59 am

I live in Ramot, a suburb of Yerushalayim. There are hundreds of families like you describe, minhagim and mentality Sefardi but children learn in regular BY and cheider. There are also excellent sefardi chadarim and a sefardi BY.
Be aware that the sefardi chadarim and yeshivos tend to be more aggressive and also more open and modern. Most of the yeshivish sefardim send to ashkenazi yeshivos and high schools.

FYI sefardim who are integrating that way into the ashkenazi system are called mitashkenazim and may be looked down upon by more traditional sefardim as having abandoned tradition.

Editing to add: the Rav of the area opened a minyan specifically for sefardi avreichim. It's a lovely place to daven.

amother

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:04 am

amother Candycane wrote:

Lakewood and Deal have nice sized communities.

I dont know a single person in Lakewood. I dont know anything about schools either. Street names, neighborhoods etc. Where do people start looking?

amother

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:05 am

amother Valerian wrote:

Where in NY do you live?

amother

Blonde

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:05 am

Are your parents Israeli?

Israeli culture is very different from American culture, but if your parents are Israeli, maybe you'd have an easier time fitting in.

Also, If you are Yeshivish being Sephardi carries a bit of a stigma here and Sephardim are looked at as a bit "lower class" still in Yeshivish circles.

You have to find a community that's right for you. It's not just a matter of finding a Sephardi Shul. My husband Davens in a Sephardi Shul in the American neighborhood we live in and while the men are really nice, they are also very poor and it's just a different mentality.

Being American doesn't give you that automatic coolness like many people think it does. Many people just think you are different and strange. You really need to adapt if you move to Israel.

amother

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:07 am

amother Navy wrote:

My sister lives in Ramot and are mishtaknezed as are we Wink

My husband jokes about it but we dont look at it. We embrace sefardi halacha but we see the value of the ashkenaz yeshiva system. If there was a strong sefardi chedarim we would send there though.

Yes Ive seen that re the sefardi schools being more open and modern. At least by me they are. I see the moms at pick up and Im surprised and their dress and in general just the avira of the school isnt as shtark

I wonder if I could message you to speak about ramot more?

amother

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:08 am

amother Blonde wrote:

Yes both me and DH are israeli we speak hebrew at home. But theyre not so frum our parents so the community they live in is more modern
Where in e"y do you live?

amother

Blonde

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:09 am

Also in terms of Lakewood and Deal.

Deal is Syrian. If you are not Syrian, or "the community type", you will feel out of place

In Lakewood, there are all types of Sephardim, but only organized schools for Syrian. There are a few types of Sephardi Shuls, including Moroccan, Syrian etc. but it's a more integrated community - meaning into the Ashkenaz world

amother

Blonde

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes both me and DH are israeli we speak hebrew at home. But theyre not so frum our parents so the community they live in is more modern
Where in e"y do you live?

If you and your husband are Israeli, you will have no problem fitting in here! The only question is how old your kids are.

It doesn't matter that your parents are more modern. It's a culture thing

amother

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:55 am

amother Blonde wrote:

If you and your husband are Israeli, you will have no problem fitting in here! The only question is how old your kids are.

It doesn't matter that your parents are more modern. It's a culture thing

We have a 2 year old. Hes still young.

Im nervous about parnassa.
Can I message u about ramot?

amother

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 10:55 am

amother Blonde wrote:

Ramot sounds like a really great choice for you but yes, most Yeshivish Sephardim send their kids to Ashkenaz schools. We do too

It really depends how Yeshivish you are.

Not as chareidi as my SILs in e"y. I have an iphone for one and my husband works