12 hours by 12 weeks abusive

amother

Cornsilk

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:12 pm

I’m 100% with you
I could not get over feeding bottles only 4 times a day and scheduled at such a young age!!!
Imagine someone told you you can only drink this much every four hours .. makes no sense

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:15 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

It’s good to hear from like minded moms. Thanks!

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

That book is promoting really bad parenting. Mothers follow your instincts and don’t follow that book. It’s abusive, neglectful and outdated.

Agree! I have a family member that goes by that book and she literally only feeds her kid if it's exactly on schedule . She gets upset if her baby slept 10 hours and not 12. She follows the book to a t. She gets so angry and upset if her kids are off schedule to the minute . It's crazy and abusive. She won't feed her crying baby if it's even 15 min too early. She thinks her kids/babies should be on a strict schedule like a machine . Her second kid is a normal child not on a strict schedule and she can't stop talking and saying what a difficult kid he is . It's so crazy . Her child acts like any other toddler and she doesn't stop complaining and saying how difficult he is when in reality he's acting like a normal baby/toddler . She can't handle it if he sleeps 10 hours instead of 12 or if he wakes up in the middle of the night . She swears by this book and I've never read it but from what I've seen from this family member I can't imagine it's healthy .people have to remember that babies are humans and should be on a schedule but not a crazy rigid to the minute schedule.

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:18 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Yes, it’s the saddest thing to watch. It’s so neglectful and cruel to the poor babies. There needs to be more awareness how harmful this method is.

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:18 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

It's crazy abusive but these moms that follow it don't care about anything. They're selfish and just want their peace and quiet and want their 12 hours of quiet. I'm so happy you started this thread bec this has been on my mind

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:19 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

My baby was able to sleep 12 hours before 12 weeks.

Not often, but I really appreciated the nights it happens.

Doctor said it was fine and no need to wake him to feed, because he was gaining nicely.

He naturally slept through the night or you put him on the cruel and rigid schedule that the book promotes?

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes, it’s the saddest thing to watch. It’s so neglectful and cruel to the poor babies. There needs to be more awareness how harmful this method is.

I'm all for not feeding the kid on demand because then they don't eat a full feeding and then they're never full . Then it becomes a disaster. This book is extereme and I can't stand mothers that feed their kids only on a tight rigid schedule. They forget that babies are humans!!! Someday they'll eat more , some less . Some days they want to ear earlier some later. It's an insane book

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:20 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Yes!!! I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s selfish and abusive of these moms. Unfortunately know a lot of moms who follow this book and I feel so sorry for their poor babies! 😭

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:22 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Demand feeding is the gold standard of care with babies but I completely agree with your comments about the book.

amother

Clover

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:24 pm

Sounds awful. My baby is 20 months knH and still wakes up every night, and I bring him into my bed. He sleeps the rest of the night in my bed. No idea how ill get him out the habit but I can't bare to leave him to cry. Plus it's easier for me because I just need my sleep, so can't do sleep training. He's my 5th child, but first to do this. Every baby is different, I don't get these routines.

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:25 pm

amother Clover wrote:

Your baby is lucky to have you as a mom!

amother

Pewter

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:26 pm

My baby slept through the night by a few weeks old. The doctor said it was ok since she ate well during the day and was gaining nicely. I didn't follow the book she did it on her own. So maybe forcing it is not ideal but some babies naturally do it so it's not the end of the world health wise.

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:28 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

As long as you feed her on demand and adapt to her unique schedule, that’s great. A baby at 12 weeks shouldn’t only be fed 4 times a day.

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Demand feeding is the gold standard of care with babies but I completely agree with your comments about the book.

I meant demand feeding when the baby eats every 30 min to an hour and then doesn't eat a full feeding bec they eat so often . Then the baby is a wreck . I definitely feed on demand but I try some sort of schedule I try to aim for every 3 hours or even 2 hours if that's what the baby needs. I do feed my babies before their scheduled feeding too . I try to keep them on somewhat of a schedule but not a rigid one. Some days they eat every three hours or four. Some days when they're extra hungry they eat every 2.5 hours . I find that babies put themselves on their own schedule. Btw these moms that are so rigid freak out when the baby has a growth spurt and needs to eat more often or when the baby has an ear infection and is up . They can't handle it and it's so sad .

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:31 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

If the baby does it on their own and they're eating enough and gaining weight then that's fantastic ! I feel that most babies put themselves on their own schedule . It's wrong when you only feed the baby 4 times a day and force them to stick to that schedule. It's not normal to force anyone even an adult to eat at the same time every day! How can we expect a newborn that is growing constantly to be on a strict schedule ? It's just cruel

amother

Carnation

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:34 pm

I agree with you so much.
I have a sil who put her poor baby on this schedule. He would scream for an hour before his scheduled bottle, and she wouldn't give it to him until it was exactly time.
Writing this makes me tear up

amother

Rose

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:34 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

I agree that the book is extreme and that you can’t schedule a baby to such a degree there needs to be a form of flexibility.
Babies at that age if they are waking up in middle of the night it is because they need to do so and it is normal and we have to accept that. If they sleep through the night on thier own and are gaining weight nicely then you’ve lucked out. But otherwise I feel like you have to just work with what your baby needs.
But with all that I will say I read the book and did try out giving my baby more to eat at each feed and my baby was more content eating more and going longer hours between feedings. But if my baby gets hungry before his scheduled feed I do feed him at that time. Babies don’t understand the concept of waiting and they are physically distressed when they are hungry.
When formula feeding I find that the baby needs some resemblance of a schedule because if not they end up snacking the whole day and it is different then nursing where you can’t really control how much the baby is getting at the feed.

amother

Tue, May 02 2023, 6:35 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

It’s heartbreaking! Poor baby. Crying