Is it crazy to get my 18 month old onto a pacifier

amother

Thu, May 04 2023, 1:46 pm

He never took it as a baby, but I'm still breastfeeding and lately he's literally been using me as a paci all day and night, and it's just too much for me, I'm not functioning properly. He's old enough now to tell me he wants to nurse and I feel too bad to refuse. The only way I see out of it is to find him a different comfort instead.

Is it crazy to try and get him to like a paci now at this age?

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, May 04 2023, 1:48 pm

Yes, it is indeed a terrible idea. At this age you’d already be trying to get him off the paci if he had had one since birth.

Maybe look up advice for how to get kids off paci’s and adjust it to your situation, it’s the right age to do it.

Stars

Thu, May 04 2023, 1:49 pm

It’s not super crazy but good luck getting him to take it. The strong sucking reflex that newborns have tends to go away after a few weeks (or months, I’m not sure), and then they have absolutely no idea what to do with a pacifier in their mouth.

I would find another comfort item.

amother

Emerald

Thu, May 04 2023, 1:50 pm

Firstly, yes I agree it's not a good idea.
But anyways I would give about 0% chance that he would take it now. I've tried with older babies. Not that old but like 10 months old and there was nothing to talk about. They just bit it up and played with it. It has to be done at infancy IME.

amother

Thu, May 04 2023, 1:56 pm

scruffy wrote:

What about a security blanket or stuffed animal? If he has a favorite one already you can use that.

He has a blanket already (one that he always needs when he goes to sleep), but that doesn't suffice for him.

amother

Thu, May 04 2023, 1:57 pm

hodeez wrote:

Horrible idea, just wean the kid. You'll have to do it sooner or later, don't introduce another dependency on him

I don't feel I can just wean him, he seems to need the comfort. I'm more than happy to continue nursing him, it's just too much to be used as his paci all the time.

BrisketBoss

Thu, May 04 2023, 2:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don't feel I can just wean him, he seems to need the comfort. I'm more than happy to continue nursing him, it's just too much to be used as his paci all the time.

So then nurse him only sometimes. Not more than you can handle. Yes, he will be upset. But it's ok to have boundaries and it's ok for relationships to change--my son learned the word 'lap' as soon as he was weaned and continues to be very cuddly.

It's easier for kids to accept boundaries when you yourself feel confident in your decision. "I'm not going to nurse you right now. We'll nurse later." (Or bonus, use a concrete visual cue since toddlers don't understand time)

amother

Peru

Thu, May 04 2023, 2:07 pm

Yes OP, it's a terrible idea. One of my kids started taking a pacifier at 16 months. She just took the babies pacifier in her mouth and that's it. Whenever I took it away, she found another one. It was so had to wean her off it and she became such a cranky child. It doesn't pay at this age.

amother

Thu, May 04 2023, 2:09 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

If he needs the comfort, then comfort him. Hold him, rock him.

Is he your first?

Just holding and cuddling him doesn't help...

And nope, he's not my first.

(Can I say that I find that a pretty condescending question? Having difficulty with parenting doesn't mean that someone is a first time mother. Each child is different and comes with it's own set of needs.)

amother

Thu, May 04 2023, 2:11 pm

amother Birch wrote:

Would he go for a chewy tube? Of one of those teething similar to pacifier look?

What is a chewy tube?

amother

Birch

Thu, May 04 2023, 2:12 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

This
I nursed a child a lot older than this- but at one point I put boundaries- before bedtime, morning and before a nap. Occasionally another once or twice during day if sick or something.
When dc asked in other times I would say (let’s say if it was in middle of night) that we have to wait for milky when it won’t be dark anymore. I did not allow myself to become the pacifier.

amother

Birch

Thu, May 04 2023, 2:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

What is a chewy tube?

Search chewy tube on amazon
I just got one that looks like a lego piece. (But for an older child)

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, May 04 2023, 3:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course each child is different. But every child at age 18 months needs comforting. How did you comfort your other kids at that age? Or did they all take pacifiers?

amother

Firebrick

Thu, May 04 2023, 3:45 pm

I'll be the dissenting voice. I find that if you.don't give them something you can take away, they'll suck on everything in sight. Each kid has different needs and some have a need to suck. Unless you're planning on doing OT or something with him, you'll have to supply the sensory outlet. I would offer the paci once and see if he takes to it. If not, try other things.

But definitely weaning is a good idea.

gold2

Thu, May 04 2023, 3:58 pm

I wouldn't start a pacifier at that age since it could be bad for his speech and if he managed without it all this time it's not worth it to start now