So what kind of education is your child getting?

amother

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:11 pm

amother Purple wrote:

I was absolutely thrilled with my children’s education. (Although I do wish they spoke a more fluent Hebrew-but I attribute that to one DD is unwilling to put herself out there and try). Not even teachers has been amazing, but most really have been good if not great. I am aware that my children come with their own strengths and weaknesses, interests and hobbies. They are not perfect either. My children are hardworking and B”H naturally intelligent. They were more than prepared for Sem and secular college and thrived at both. They are products of Bergen County MO schools. While I do not enjoy paying the tuition I paid, it was an expense I didn’t begrudge. (Our Shul renovation and family mandatory contribution is a whole different story-that I object to)

As I am not from Brooklyn/Monsey/Lakewood, a BY or “yeshiva” or mosdot parent I assume I am not your target audience.

Thank you so much for this reply

amother

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:13 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Not at all true. My daughter is in the mamlachti religious public high school in our area and we are 100%, if not more than that, happy with the school. It is everything that we wanted for her and is giving her a very good education, both secular and kodesh. It is 100% a partner with us. And my child is learning in the way that is best for her.

Of course a school can be 100%. Im sorry you think it is not possible.

Thank you!

amother

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:14 pm

giftedmom wrote:

How will knowing how schools operate in other places help you with a school in Lakewood? As a BT you’re better off getting irl advice and exposure.

The Lakewood was just an example of a place where people seem to try and get into schools, but I never hear what happens next and how this dynamic works out if parents have actual expectations from the school.

I now know better than to move to Lakewood… thank you Imamother

amother

Vermilion

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Okay
My kids have gone to schools that had following issues:
- teachers often being late, absent or unprepared at all.
- teachers doing cruel and counterproductive things as a punishment for misbehavior.
- teacher having unrealistic expectations of kids due to lack of experience and knowledge (expecting 2 graders to do things that kids learn in 5th grade)
- lessons not following a curriculum in a logical way, frequent testing without sufficient preparation, grading for tests not transparent
- parental emails being ignored by all personal including management.
I wonder if that’s normal for frum schools.

We experienced all of the above plus s-xual abuse Crying

giftedmom

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

Whatever other place you’re considering moving to… do yourself a favor and do loads of research on cultural norms and unwritten rules

amother

Stonewash

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think you can find all that in any type of school, whether frum, not frum, public, or Catholic.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you happy with the level of kodesh? Can your kids daven freely, both genders, read chumash and rashi, are they fluent in modern Hebrew?

Yes except for fluency in Hebrew which may come as my daughter progresses through high school. She knows way more than I thought but binyanim aren't natural to her. She's only 14 so I'll give her time. But high proficiency in being able to open a sefer and read and understand on her own and write it back in non perfect Hebrew.

Quote:

What about secular subjects? Are they taught in a creative and interesting way, or are they unimportant for you? Are your kids prepared for state exams and further college education?

Yes, definitely creative. My kids have ka"h scored very, very well on state and national exams in both Language Arts and Math.

My 16 yo just took a practice SAT and didn't understand why people stress about it. He took the AP Statistics exam and realized he didn't even need that high an education for the SAT.
So their secular education is definitely sufficient.

Quote:

What about attitude to children and communication with parents? Are children treated with an understanding of their age and stage? Do you think the school is your partner, or do you sometimes have to actively protect your child from teachers unprofessional behavior?

These questions are very disjointed.
I usually have good communication with teachers but I have no idea why the flip side would be to proactively protect them from unprofessional behavior?
We have had teachers here and there that we didn't find to be a good match but on the whole I did find them easy to work with. The ones over the years in the 7 schools I've sent to that were really not working out usually didn't end up returning in future years.

In general, I don't expect schools to be perfect and meet every idealistic notion I have. I do expect fairness from teachers, good classroom management, the ability to differentiate on a minimal level when necessary, decent communication to parents, and covering of curriculum. And most of all love and dedication with passion to having children succeed.

I can't expect every single teacher to work for every single kid, for my kids to never ever be bored, for a teacher to have the bandwidth to change a style to suit my kid. There are great ones and greater ones and some who are just ok. That's life 😁

Every year is a new year BH!

amother

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:43 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Thank you so much for a detailed response!

amother

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:44 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

It sounds like your kids are in a poorly run school, op. That doesn't reflect on the general state of frum schools, though. Each school is its own entity, with its own pros and cons. If you're seriously considering a move, you can start a new thread asking about schools that have x,y and z qualities. Decide what your priorities are, and see what people suggest. You will not find perfection anywhere.

True

This does confirm what I am thinking

amother

Burgundy

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you care about state exams, college education, and modern Hebrew, Lakewood schools are not for you. Most BY girls in general don’t learn enough modern Hebrew to converse freely. Although my OOT BY at least taught ivrit as a subject. My kids learn lashon HaTorah. I do kind of wish they’d learn modern Hebrew for communication purposes, but they can learn it on their own too.

scintilla

Sun, May 21 2023, 12:52 pm

I don't have a specific school to suggest to you, but I understand your question. I think it's important to find out the general school hanhalah & feel of the school, ie what they aim for in their teaching. Thing is there will often be some less-great apples in the teaching barrel and since teaching is such a hard job with so much to know to be successful, especially in from schools where there may not be that much training, the chance of your child having a not great teacher *in a great school* is not negligible. So there's that risk. But there's a risk everywhere. Including homeschooling! Which is another parshah.

So I think what you can do is do your research and find a school that certainly is close to the ideal that you've presented (probably will need to choose some priorities, unfortunately, that's life) and then daven, daven, daven. As we always have to when we send our children out into the world.

Hope this helps.

amother

Sun, May 21 2023, 1:08 pm

scintilla wrote:

Thank you for being so understanding
I am shocked that I cannot ask a simple question here and get accused just because I word my OP properly.