So what kind of education is your child getting?

amother

Stonewash

Sun, May 21 2023, 4:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for being so understanding
I am shocked that I cannot ask a simple question here and get accused just because I word my OP properly.

It's not about the proper wording...that's quite an assumption to make. It's the nature of the question that sounds suspicious, especially with everything that's been going on lately. And don't be so shocked: you are anonymous, asking a question on the internet. You could be anyone.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, May 21 2023, 4:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for being so understanding
I am shocked that I cannot ask a simple question here and get accused just because I word my OP properly.

Have you not been around here long? People come around looking for material for articles all the time. They don’t often have our interests at heart. Put that together with the recent spate of articles regarding frum education in the NYT and we’re absolutely correct to be suspicious of who asks what around here.

scintilla

Sun, May 21 2023, 4:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for being so understanding
I am shocked that I cannot ask a simple question here and get accused just because I word my OP properly.

Honestly with what's happening these days, I don't blame anyone for being suspicious. I adopt a trust but verify approach and tried to answer your question in a way that did answer you and yet wouldn't give a reporter too much "dirt" on our community. Anyways that's neither here nor there. You're right that you shouldn't be accused, if someone has a suspicion they can report the post.

amother

Smokey

Sun, May 21 2023, 4:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for being so understanding
I am shocked that I cannot ask a simple question here and get accused just because I word my OP properly.

It wasn't the wording.
It was the huge breadth of the question. If you are asking about something relevant to you, people are happy to answer. When you ask a question about everywhere (and please add location), it's obviously not relevant to you so people are suspicious.

Added to that how you answered back.
You didn't continue the discussion with further questions.
You either attacked people who queried you or just said thank you. You may be perfectly legit but people are suspicious.

Also, like I mentioned previously there is a shmiras halashon aspect about discussing negative points publicly. You may not like what I said but I believe, if you asked a Rav, you would be told that this discussion is not appropriate.

And having said that, I know your reply will not be "I hear, I'm going to ask, I'm going to narrow down my location" but rather "no one asked you to try to turn a legit poster into a problem."

And that's problematic. So here I bow out.

amother

Magenta

Sun, May 21 2023, 4:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you happy with the level of kodesh? Can your kids daven freely, both genders, read chumash and rashi, are they fluent in modern Hebrew?

What about secular subjects? Are they taught in a creative and interesting way, or are they unimportant for you? Are your kids prepared for state exams and further college education?

What about attitude to children and communication with parents? Are children treated with an understanding of their age and stage? Do you think the school is your partner, or do you sometimes have to actively protect your child from teachers unprofessional behavior?

Do your kids schools meet all of these criteria or only some? And what are they? Please also name the school/ city, if you don’t mind.

I'll try to answer your questions - but as others have pointed out, it's very community dependent. I won't mention the schools, but will specify Monsey as the city.

I'm happy with the level of kodesh, my kids can daven freely, read chumash and rashi, but not fluent in modern Hebrew. I'm ok with this since I don't see a need to be fluent in modern Hebrew.

The method of teaching is dependent on the teachers. Some offer creative lessons, others don't. My kids are prepared for NYS regents, but not for any further college education.

Communication with parents is ok, and children are treated age appropriately. There isn't much unprofessional behavior, so can't speak to that. But in terms of viewing the school as a partnership, I would say it's a one way partnership. When the school want something from the parents, they run with the partnership concept. But when the parents want something from the schools, they turn a deaf ear. We put up with it, because we don't have other schools to turn to (and the other schools do the same anyways).

Overall, the schools are run well and efficiently. My biggest concern is that there is no room for individuality in our schools. There is only one track, and everyone must follow suit. Even if it doesn't work for a kid, he/she must force him/herself to conform to it, because otherwise the kid will be without a school.

amother

Teal

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

My kids are in one of the newer schools in Lakewood. I’m thrilled with the experience thus far. One of them has difficulty with kriah but they monitored it carefully and my child is now on track. The older one probably knows more Ivrit than I do at this point but isn’t great at languages (I am bilingual and haven’t been successful at transmitting the second language) and I wonder if they’ll be fluent. I think language is a knack- my friends who went to the same Bais Yaakov as me had no problem communicating when we moved to Israel while I still sound like a newbie years later.

Overall, I’ve had great communication with the school and only have good things to say about the teachers so far. BH I am very happy with our school.

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:37 pm

amother Stonewash wrote:

Yeshivas and Bais Yaakovs are wonderful. They have higher scores and less drugs, violence, and teen pregnancy than any non Jewish school. They produce law-abiding, responsible citizens to a far greater degree than the public school system. The public school system, board of Ed and NY Times should be using yeshivas and BYs as role models instead of harassing them. The end. Put that in your article and leave us alone, please. Thank you.

Higher scores? Maybe in Yiddish! Definitely not higher scores in secular subjects..not even close.

amother

Oxfordblue

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Since you are asking... I live in Lakewood. I have had five children (bli ayin harah) graduate so far from three different schools and high schools.

I am thrilled with the level of learning and professionalism of the teachers, and I am in awe of the teachers and Rebeims extraordinary dedication to their students.

That said, I don't know that Lakewood schools prepare their students for Harvard or the like, but I feel confident that each of my children can do college level work after graduating from high school, with perhaps some minimal catching up.

The girls learn Ivrit, the boys learn loshon kodesh.

I have not always agreed with every school policy and we have not always seen eye to eye on every issue regarding my kids, but I expect that- as they say, two Jews, three opinions...

To sum it up, I was very happy with my children's school experience and I am in awe at the extreme dedication of the teachers and principals.

amother

Jasmine

Mon, May 22 2023, 1:48 am

I do not know any frum school that allows teachers to be late or miss classes. All frum schools have criteria for hiring competent teachers. All teachers in all frum schools must follow the schools curriculum and must submit thorough plan sheets on a weekly basis. There are curriculum directors in schools that review them and offer assistance and constructive criticism.

I don't know what your agenda is. I'm a teacher with many years of experience and am in close contact with teachers of many schools. I am also a parent who has sent to different schools. I have not met or experienced any of the issues you've mentioned.

It is very interesting that you ignore all requests to name a neighborhood or which type of frum schools you're referring to. It is not your well worded post that's causing people to be wary of you.

If you want people to take you seriously, you need to be a bit more forthcoming and, frankly, a bit more honest.

Sometimes hearing the truth hurts.

amother

Mon, May 22 2023, 5:38 am

amother Jasmine wrote:

Thank you so much for your reply. It gives me a lot of validation.

I come from a very small community outside of the US and I know all the options in my own hometown in and out. I don’t want to say what it is because it will probably out me right away.

I am not exploring any particular area at the moment. The question is rather, do I even move just for school alone or am I going to face the same issues in other schools too?

Ideally I would send to separate gender yeshivish schools, but I have never lived in a place with a huge choice of schools for shomer shabbes families (yeshivish or MO).

The reason why I posted this thread was to find out if my expectations are realistic. So far I see that they are, even though some of these things may be missing in some particular schools.

Fluent Hebrew is not a dealbreaker, it’s just something I threw in there. Not a must.

amother

Smokey

Mon, May 22 2023, 6:09 am

If this is your question, I'll answer to the point.

I live in Yerushalayim and send to yeshivish schools.
I have kids in 2 different chadarim, 1 girls elementary, 1 girls high school and 2 yeshivos.

In one of the chadarim the parent-teacher-hanhalla communication is really problematic and there is a level of aggression by some of the staff. (which is why I moved my younger kids)

The rest of the schools are great. The level of education for girls in both kodesh and chol is fantastic. The boys chol is not so amazing but the kodesh is fantastic. I have never had any of the other issues you describe.