Should I quit? | Imamother

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:38 pm

At this moment I'm losing my mind. My baby, who generally doesn't sleep through, was up 4 times last night (the dreaded 4 month sleep regression). Meanwhile my 4 year old had a cough that kept her, and me, up. My 6 year old was also woken and therefore couldn't make the bus to school today.
As far as I'm concerned, this is the last straw. I haven't really been managing since I went back a couple of months ago. I work from home, Lakewood part time - meaning, the entire time my kids are out plus a bit more. Today I've spent the day zoning out over my computer and not getting the work done, which is a problem. I'm ready to quit immediately, but if I do, we literally won't be able to pay our bills...

Java

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:40 pm

No don't quit
Not unless you've been told officially that your work is suffering and you're on probation
Unless you're absolutely miserable, any job is better than no job

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:44 pm

1) I AM miserable and
2) Isn't it a problem halachically to claim a paycheck if you aren't really capable of performing properly (in my case, due to exhaustion)?

amother

Navy

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:45 pm

No. Do not quit if you cant pay your bills.
You need to do what you need to do in order to pay the bills, even if its hard.
Hope it gets easier.
(Saying this as I try to focus on my own work, with a sleep deprivation headache that hasnt left since yesterday this time)

Java

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

1) I AM miserable and
2) Isn't it a problem halachically to claim a paycheck if you aren't really capable of performing properly (in my case, due to exhaustion)?

As far as 2, no I don't think so. Ultimately it's up to your boss. If they haven't complained then you're likely not underperforming as badly as you think.

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:46 pm

They did complain, but they aren't going to fire me because they aren't interested in recruiting and training another employee. Honestly I'd rather if they did fire me, because then I could go on unemployment and meanwhile my baby could grow up a little bit.. I hate that we are expected to work with such tiny babies Sad

Java

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

They did complain, but they aren't going to fire me because they aren't interested in recruiting and training another employee

So then it's not your problem. They're knowingly paying you for what you're doing

amother

Navy

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

So they're ok with you continuing.
Then continue.
I mean, what are your choices? Quit and go into massive debt?
Quit and be a recipient of tzedakah?
Not sure you have a choice here, unless you have very wealthy family or friends who want to gift you with free money

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:50 pm

Thanks, actually that's really helpful because the guilt is a major part of why I'm so miserable...

amother

Navy

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks, actually that's really helpful because the guilt is a major part of why I'm so miserable...

Im not sure if youre being sarcastic or not.
Can you explain? What are you feeling guilty about?

amother

Kiwi

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:52 pm

Working with a young baby is torture! Can you hire more help instead of quitting? Yes, help costs money but not as much as not having a job… I would not have survived working with a 4 month old without my nanny/housekeeper.

amother

Ultramarine

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:53 pm

Does your husband work? Can he take on a second job / work more hours to cover the shortfall? I hate that everyone is guilting an overwhelmed exhausting mom to work. Her job is to take care of her family. Her husbands job is to support them.

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:59 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Im not sure if youre being sarcastic or not.
Can you explain? What are you feeling guilty about?

Guilt about underperforming at my job

amother

Navy

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 1:59 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Yes I think you should quit. Does your husband work?

You think she should voluntarily put herself into a position where they cant make ends meet?
And then what?

amother

Navy

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 2:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Guilt about underperforming at my job

That makes sense, but as long as they are not firing you, keep going at it. Hopefully soon you'll be able to do better

mamawfh

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 3:28 pm

OP it does get easier. You say you have a 4 month old. It sounds like you went back to work when your baby was 6-8 weeks old.

Your physically still getting back to yourself!!

Be kind to yourself give it some time and hopefully your work performance will improve.