S/O liking your kids - the expectations we have of teachers

amother

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 4:56 pm

amother Green wrote:

Omg
I feel bad for those students
If you teach you need to be very very careful about this
Please

amother Cerise wrote:

Good Grief! This is your JOB and it's possibly the most important job in the world. If you won't do this, quit and make space for someone who will.

wrote:

You quit teaching

I get that teacher-related issues can be very triggering for people with traumatic school experiences, but I can't help but see the double standard. A mother struggles to like her very own children - all of them! - and we give her empathy, understanding, and support. A teacher asks for help learning to like one particular student and we tell her she should quit and isn't fit to be a teacher.

amother

Leaf

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 5:16 pm

Good point! This past year was a tough year teaching for me (public school) and there were some really nasty kids that I did not like. I really don't think they were good people... Entitled, lacking basic empathy, doing really horrible things to peers and teachers. BH I'm done with that group. I think it's okay not to like all your students and it doesn't make you a bad teacher.

I do love my own kids (even though they try my patience plenty)!) But it's much harder to love other people's kids, especially when they do terrible things. I did my best to teach them and to be fair.

amother

Charcoal

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 5:22 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

So long as they can't tell. Not everyone is successful at hiding it.

creditcards

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 5:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

There's currently a thread where a poster is asking for advice on how to learn to like her kids again: https://www.imamother.com/foru.....17693
The responses are empathetic and constructive. As they should be!

A few years ago I posted in the Teacher's Room forum asking for advice on helping myself like a student that I struggled to like.
Here are some responses I got:

I get that teacher-related issues can be very triggering for people with traumatic school experiences, but I can't help but see the double standard. A mother struggles to like her very own children - all of them! - and we give her empathy, understanding, and support. A teacher asks for help learning to like one particular student and we tell her she should quit and isn't fit to be a teacher.

Valid point, but to be fair, a mom can't quit her parenting job, kids are here to stay forever.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 5:40 pm

creditcards wrote:

Valid point, but to be fair, a mom can't quit her parenting job, kids are here to stay forever.

True. But chances are that that kid that the teacher is struggling to love is giving more teachers a hard time. Should every teacher quit as soon as they get that hard kid? (I'm extremely good at masking it FYI so the difficult kids are convinced they're my favorite but it's mostly a mask)

creditcards

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 5:47 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Makes sense what you are saying.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 6:31 pm

The problem is when a teacher makes it obvious that they dislike a specific student and they literally torture the kid. It is unacceptable for a teacher to make it obvious that she has either a favorite student or a student they dislike. All students should be treated equally.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 6:42 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

True. And a teacher asking how to love that kid is clearly trying to treat them all equally and is asking for advice and shouldn't be put down for not being a malach who's able to love the kid who ruins every lesson without some extra help.

amother

DarkViolet

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 7:27 pm

Imamother is weird like that. One post everyone is about to lynch op next post everyone agrees. It’s happened to me and then I question imamother lol. I totally get you op

PinkFridge

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 7:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wow. I would say, kudos to you for recognizing the need to do this and working on it. Your students are lucky.
I hope that if I saw the thread I said that.

amother

Sand

Tue, Jun 27 2023, 9:28 pm

It's easier in a a way to like kids you teach, because it's only a limited amount of time per day and then get a break from them and after year is up don't need to deal with them anymore,... not so your kids.