Would u stop on the side of the road to help?

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:31 pm

Simple1 wrote:

Sounds very very frustrating. But I can’t imagine a scenario where Chaverim can’t be at least as helpful as a stranger. I believe they can boost your stalled car so that it at least makes it to the mechanic or your driveway.

Chaveirim gave me a number for tow truck and said they’re so so sorry but there’s nothing they can do due to the issue my car was having

amother

Ruby

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:32 pm

So sorry OP, but in 2023 I’d be afraid to stop for anyone. Not because there are so many creeps out there, but rather because people who try to do the right today are always the villains.
I’m afraid I’ll get sued, blamed, and who knows what else.
It’s so sad that our world has come to this, but it’s the unfortunate reality.

amother

Currant

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:32 pm

amother Aconite wrote:

Honestly I struggle a lot with driving on highways and I probably wouldn't be able to pull over to the shoulder in time. I know this isn't the answer you're looking for and I'm sorry. But I would need to be able to pull over safely.

Did you try chaveirim?

I’m so sorry this happened to you op. It sounds awful. I’m also upset by the person who said we’re a selfish generation. I’m like the person I just quoted. Driving fast on a highway and pulling over is hard. Once you’re pulled over it’s even harder to get back into traffic from the shoulder.
A few years ago I was driving in the middle lane on a busy highway when I saw what looked like a frum family pulled over on the side. Traffic was moving fast but I wanted to help. I moved into the right lane wanting to pull over and stop on the shoulder and got pulled over by a police car I hadn’t noticed that was right near me. Cop said I moved into the right lane unsafely and gave me a moving violation which is a fine and points on your license that make your insurance rates go up. I have never pulled over on a highway since then for anything. I keep my eyes on the road and keep driving.

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:33 pm

amother Clover wrote:

I’m sorry this happened to you but people still stop to help when they can. (Sometimes they figure you have a phone and will get help) My 13 year old daughter was on a van with about 20 girls and their van broke down. While they waited for a replacement van to come, the girls stayed on the side of the garden state parkway. Numerous Jewish people stopped to help. One man even gave them a case of cold water. Chesed is alive and well!

That’s why I made a poll because I wanted the chizzuk of hopefully seeing that people would choose the option that says that yes they would pull over if possible

amother

Lily

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:34 pm

Yes I would stop.
Ill never forget when my toddler was a newborn (my first) I picked her up from the babysitter since her babysitter was next to work and we had an hour commute home. She threw up on the way home and had a dirty diaper. I pulled over in a panic and was crying so stressed. A frum woman stopped her car and handed me a pack of wipes and tissues and asked if I needed help.

Ill never forget her kindness

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:34 pm

amother Chambray wrote:

For my own safety I don't stop to help strangers. I don't give hitches either. If I was with dh though we would. I'm so sorry for your experience today.

Interesting. Even a woman with two crying kids, one very very young child?

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:35 pm

amother Ruby wrote:

I’m sorry that that’s your mindset. If it would be a single woman then I understand. But a woman with a baby in one hand and a young child in the other..?? Hmmm

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:35 pm

amother Lily wrote:

That’s amazing, wow!!!

amother

Ruby

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m sorry that that’s your mindset. If it would be a single woman then I understand. But a woman with a baby in one hand and a young child in the other..?? Hmmm

I do feel like in this case I’d make an exception. But in general I’m fearful.

amother

Starflower

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:36 pm

I chose yes but truthfully on a highway I would want to but wouldn't physically be able to. My dh is a better driver in some ways and knows how to pullover on a highway.

I feel bad for you. Why couldn't t someone pick you up? It's very dangerous to stand on the side of a highway.

Rabbi Dovid Grossman ah was killed at the side of the road when his car needed help a few years ago.

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:37 pm

amother Ruby wrote:

I do feel like in this case I’d make an exception. But in general I’m fearful.

I would do the same because I’m generally very cautious but seeing kids with a mother is a different story

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:39 pm

amother Starflower wrote:

I’m originally from OOT so I have no family here. I was able to call a friend but it took her 45 min to get there. I know it’s very dangerous but my options were staying in the car a toddler who’s burning with fever and can overheat in seconds and a 4 year old who’s face was pouring sweat or try to find a safe spot to stand between the gate and my car visible to all drivers.

NechaMom

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:39 pm

amother Amber wrote:

I have found that Jews are the least likely to help their own people out of any other group. I never realized this until I became an adult. It's shameful.

Am I reading right? Can you show me who else has chaveirim, hatzala, mekimi, bonei oilem, chai lifeline etc etc etc. I can’t believe you actually think so.
OP I’m quite shocked. I’d definitely stop and so would most people I know. I’m afraid that even though it looked like it was easy to stop for you, it really wasn’t and most cars who passed by would have done so if they’d be able to pull over safely.

amother

Chambray

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Interesting. Even a woman with two crying kids, one very very young child?

Yes. Unfortunately we live in a world where not everything is as it appears to be.

My mom's friend took a cab with a "lady driver" and after the friend paid, the driver pulled off his wig and laughed; it was a man.
Sometimes people who appear needy are mentally ill. I had a woman ask me for a ride from a mall and when I said I can't, the woman started cursing me out with the worst language, walking after me and yelling, until I had no choice but to enter another store I wasn't planning to, just to get her to stop.

Again, I'm sorry you had a hard day.

newmommy22

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:41 pm

amother Amber wrote:

I have found that Jews are the least likely to help their own people out of any other group. I never realized this until I became an adult. It's shameful.

I once stopped on the side of the road to switch my kids seats. I was stopped for less than 5 minutes on the side of the GSP and two cars with frum people stopped and asked me if I needed help. I think frum Jews are very quick to stop and offer help. Maybe the position your car was in it was too difficult for other cars to slow down. To answer your question I would stop if I was with my husband. I'm always too nervous to stop on my own.

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:42 pm

NechaMom wrote:

I’m driving for over 20 years, I knew exactly where to pull over so that people can pull over to help me, my friend and the tow truck were very easily able to stop due to location and how I parked.

I also disagree with the poster who said Jews don’t help Jews. Despite what I went through today, I’m a big believer in us being Baalei chessed as evidenced by this poll.

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:42 pm

amother Aconite wrote:

Same. I would be scared to pull over. I'm a scared driver who has a lot of anxiety when driving😒

amother

Sun, Jul 02 2023, 7:43 pm

amother Chambray wrote:

I strongly disagree. You don’t need to even get out of your car, open your window a crack and feel out the situation.