Fasting while nursing an older baby

amother

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 11:27 am

Just wanted to vent
I generally don't fast well, fasting with a 15 mo old baby who is still nursing, been trying to cut down unsuccessfully. Baby nursed a few times last night and today, I know she doesn't need it but she refused to go to sleep, and screamed and screamed.
Now I feel so thirsty and dry and argh
And I feel so guilty for being on imamother and not reading kinnos before chatzos. I barely even davened

amother

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 11:32 am

amother Valerian wrote:

Ask a sheila if you need to fast.

For real? I didn't even think to ask bec my baby is older, eats and doesn't need it for sustenance. But she's a horrible sleeper and won't go to sleep pr nap without nursing. Last night she woke up 4 times, I tried comforting her without but she just screams Sad

amother

Valerian

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 11:38 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes, for real. Many hold that a women nursing a baby of any age does not have to fast on tisha ba'av.

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 11:41 am

amother OP wrote:

There is no mitzvah to make your baby suffer to make it easier for you to fast. I learned that once I was pregnant and even more after the child is born, my ability to care for my child means looking out for my physical health more than I did before. I haven't fully fasted since I was pregnant.

My son is 3.5, and we are on my bed watching appropriate Chabad Kids videos.

And I am behind him, on my phone just trukng to distract myself from the blinding pain (I get migraines) trying to string it along until midday.

I won't feel bad if I don't make it, because my job now is to care for my child. They should not be made to suffer from our affliction💔 Please nurse your babe and feel well💗

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 11:42 am

amother OP wrote:

This is really biologically normal - your baby is created to need this connection💖

amother

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 12:05 pm

amother Fern wrote:

I had my husband go into the baby last night.
My baby is ten months and I was told to fast.

If husband would go to her shed just scream and scream for a while, I don't feel right doing that

amother

Lilac

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 12:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

If husband would go to her shed just scream and scream for a while, I don't feel right doing that

Same same. I pushed off the morning feed until almost Naptime.
Going to try to distract baby with a cookie or walk outside.
Baby was also up at night too long. I'm weak too quickly.
I'll have dh call my rav later, depending on how I feel.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 12:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

When I was nursing an almost 2 yr old, I was told to try to go til chatzos, and not to push off lunch past chatzos.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 12:26 pm

I'm nursing a 2 year old, and I was told to fast on 17 tammuz. According to our rav, when the child is over age 2, nursing is no longer an automatic heter for even a minor fast. I know other rabbanim may hold differently.

So I didn't even ask about Tisha b Av. BH I have been fasting well.

amother

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 12:27 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

Glad to hear from someone in the same boat, also feeling so weak. I don't usually nurse in the morning but of course she wanted to today, and naptime. During the rest of the day I can distract her, but after last night and this morning I'm not feeling great. I barely made it through yom kippur, and I remember thinking at least by tisha bav it'll be easier.. .
I don't fast the minor fasts but I always thought to break tisha bav was only in very extenuating circumstances

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 12:59 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

Yes, for real. Many hold that a women nursing a baby of any age does not have to fast on tisha ba'av.

I don't know "many".

Nursing a 15 month old myself and I'm fasting. He's probably nursed 5 or 6 times already since the fast started at 9 and it's not even 1...

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 1:01 pm

Quote:

I don't fast the minor fasts but I always thought to break tisha bav was only in very extenuating circumstances

That's what most of the poskim say.
I myself have never encountered a different opinion, except for the 3 nidches we had in recent years.

amother

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 1:06 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

I don't know "many".

Nursing a 15 month old myself and I'm fasting. He's probably nursed 5 or 6 times already since the fast started at 9 and it's not even 1...

Yeah, planning on continuing to fast, but my baby has nursed also like 6 or 7 times already Crying

Not feeling well but trying to just lie down and distract myself. BH at least dh is home now for my other kids, but I feel bad for him to do it all alone, he's fasting too

Tbh having somewhere to kvetch also helps lol although being on my phone all day will make my headache worse

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 1:34 pm

Given that I was told to fast while pregnant on tishabav nidche, I assumed our rav would tell me to fast nursing a 2 month old this year, so I never bothered asking.

I've been pumping extra all week, so alternating nursing and bottles, and I have formula is needed.

amother

Fern

Thu, Jul 27 2023, 1:38 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Quote:

I don't fast the minor fasts but I always thought to break tisha bav was only in very extenuating circumstances

That's what most of the poskim say.
I myself have never encountered a different opinion, except for the 3 nidches we had in recent years.

yeah I think since the recent nidches people had gotten heterim more easily and that’s what they remember. Amongst my friends those who were pregnant and fasting the past few years on Tisha BAv many weren’t fasting. And that’s what they remember. But it’s different on a regular year.