Need help figuring out how to deal with ds5

amother

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 12:11 pm

He was such a sweet calm toddler. In the last year he transformed into such a difficult kid. If we ever say no to something he freaks out and starts kicking and punching people and things. He will push and hurt his siblings at the slightest provocation, he doesn’t listen to a word dh or I say. He gets mad that I don’t buy him a new toy every day. He can’t handle being bored for a second. I don’t know how to handle him. What am I supposed to do when he’s kicking the walls or car? I obviously tell him that he should use his words, I offer him something to calm him down but nothing will stop him. He’s too big for me to carry him away; he would just kick me till I’m hurt. How do I deal with this? We can’t keep living like this. It’s multiple times a day and dh and I are at a loss. Has anyone had a child like this and know a good effective way to handle this?

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 12:16 pm

This is exactly how pandas started for us, at this same age. I wish I would have connected the dots sooner and gotten treatment started right away instead of letting it deteriorate and become chronic.

amother

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 12:22 pm

amother Mayflower wrote:

I thought so too and I had him tested. His doctor said his numbers were amazing. He only had strep once in his life…

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 12:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

I thought so too and I had him tested. His doctor said his numbers were amazing. He only had strep once in his life…

Unfortunately it seems your dr isn't up to date with information. Pandas isn't diagnosed based on a blood test. Many kids with pandas have normal strep titers. It's based on history and current behaviors. When it happened to us we didn't have a history of any strep infections ever. But most kids in our community are constantly exposed to strep, and a lot of kids have atypical or asymptomatic infections.
You can try giving dye free motrin around the clock for 3 days. If you see a marked improvement, that's a pretty clear sign that inflammation is causing the behaviors.

momofqts

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 12:33 pm

If there is a radical change in a child's behavior, usually something is going on. I would do what I can to figure out what it is. Maybe an non verbal healing such as play therapy, or energy healer can help him.

amother

Plum

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 12:59 pm

amother Mayflower wrote:

Listen to this
The sooner you catch and treat the better

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 2:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

so what should I do?

Try the motrin trial so you can know for yourself. Also get a copy of the blood test results so you can see for yourself. I've had doctors tell me everything was normal even when titers were elevated, because they don't consider it significant. Then see if your Dr will give you 30 days of antibiotics to try.
Or you can find a pandas specialist.
Or you can try to self treat using natural treatments.
Or you can try homeopathy.

giftedmom

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 6:28 pm

It’s possible he’s never been told no because he was so calm and easygoing so now he can’t handle it. It’s also possible something traumatic happened.

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 3:47 am

giftedmom wrote:

It’s possible he’s never been told no because he was so calm and easygoing so now he can’t handle it. It’s also possible something traumatic happened.

regarding the first point I don’t think that’s the case. Regarding trauma, he didn’t experience trauma afaik but I did start the process for getting him therapy just in case. I still need help figuring how to deal with his behaviors.

oneofakind

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 5:50 am

First, you need to give him tons of positive attention. Kids can act like this when parents get busy. Especially if he was so cooperative until now. Maybe he figured out that any attention is better than none?

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 6:33 am

oneofakind wrote:

I give him tons of attention already. It doesn’t make a difference. He can have a massive meltdown while I’m giving him positive one on one attention too.

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 4:35 pm

oneofakind wrote:

And how do you react to that?

I try to calm him down but nothing works so I try to remove him from whatever he’s destroying. problem is he’s kicking and resisting and I’m afraid I’m gonna get hurt some day.

amother

Plum

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 5:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Does anyone have tips to deal with the behaviors?

Give the motrin
Ignore the behavior
Try not to say anything too mean that you'll regret
Don't internalize his behavior
Good luck
It's not your parenting

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 6:03 pm

amother Plum wrote:

Give the motrin
Ignore the behavior
Try not to say anything too mean that you'll regret
Don't internalize his behavior
Good luck
It's not your parenting

how can I ignore when he’s kicking my car or walls? Or especially when he’s hurting my baby?

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 6:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

how can I ignore when he’s kicking my car or walls? Or especially when he’s hurting my baby?

Take the baby into your room and lock the door. Only thing that worked for my pandas kids out of control rages. But motrin usually knocks it down pretty fast.

amother

Plum

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 6:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

how can I ignore when he’s kicking my car or walls? Or especially when he’s hurting my baby?

I mean, don't expect to have any effective discipline if in fact his brain is inflamed