S/o Lakewood Schools- Mixed schools

amother

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 10:31 am

I don’t get it.
I teach in a typical mixed BY HS. I know I have lots of students from litvish homes, JPF, chassidim and some Sephardim, too. Standing in front of a classroom, I have no idea who comes from where. Why does it matter? They all follow the dress code and look like nice BY girls. (The chassidish girls are not from heavy duty chassidish homes, so same havara and no beige tights, etc.)
Why does it bother some people here that chassidim are getting slots in their schools? I mean, surprise, Lakewood has had chassidim living there before the big moves.
As a teen, I went to a mixed BY and I had friends from all backgrounds. What did it matter that one girl’s father wore a shtreimel and another’s name was pronounced saRAH instead of SArah?

And before anyone gets into the “stealing slots from long time residents” argument, there are heimish families living in Lakewood for many years, long enough to have high school aged kids.

amother

Amaryllis

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 10:37 am

amother OP wrote:

The chassidish part doesn't bother me.
It's the part where anyone, whether they are heimish or not, litvish or not, modern or yeshivish, moves to a town when their kids are older that is notorious for not having enough space in schools and is notoriously getting crowded and then goes online complaining about those facts & badmouthing said town.
And when people try to guide them to a school that might have more space, like bnos bais Yaakov or maayan, nope, how dare we?!? They want the established schools that are already super crowded.

I'm happy there are more mikvaos (TY BOBOV!!) and my husband loves the minyan factory behind Evergreen.

Chayalle

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 10:39 am

I don't think it's so much the diversity in the schools that bothers people, but rather, the expectation that thread gave off, that anyone who moves here should immediately get a slot in a school, when everyone knows that Lakewood is having trouble accommodating students who have lived here for years and been thru the elementary school system.

My daughter goes to BK, which has a decent amount of Heimish background students (hey. Myself included, I come from a fairly heimish/JPF family....though I did marry a yeshivish/litvish/Kollel husband) Last year she had more than one classmate who moved here fairly recently from Brooklyn. I do think last year there was less pressure in the numbers - it was one of those lucky years where there were enough slots (maybe less girls were born that year. I had this phenomenon with another daughter of mine where there wasn't an issue that year.....while another daughter, that year was a DISASTER, BH she wasn't my oldest!)

But in a year like this year, I do think it's right to accommodate existing families first, and it's unreasonable to think otherwise. The OP of that thread had to have known that, despite her numerous applications and her daughter taking the Lakewood entrance exam, there was a real chance that getting her daughter in would be a struggle when during that time she didn't even live in Lakewood yet.

amother

DarkRed

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 10:40 am

amother Amaryllis wrote:

All this while continuing to drive up housing prices with the influx, so that current residents are priced out.

amother

Honey

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:33 pm

amother Tuberose wrote:

It does become a problem when people try to change to have the litvish school teach chassidish minhagim, learn the chassidish way, teitch in yiddish etc... if a chassidish family wants to go to the school as is then go for it. But as soon as you try changing the school to suit your needs then I will protest loudly.

I went to a mixed school. I learned a great deal of knowledge about all different type of yidden. I am known to be a very accepting person. That is because we had senior kallah's in our class that wore beige tights, rosh yeshiva kids Sephardic, foreigners, kids from Russia etc. We learned about others minhagim-by the raise of hand we were given a chance to talk about our family. Each grade davened Ashkenaz or sephard, depending on the majority. My school didn't raise me. My parents were in charge of my chinuch. Why would it bother you if your kids teitch in Yiddish. Your child will just get a new set of skills. Lakewood biggest problem is it's the laser center of young spoiled parents growing a generation of young spoiled kids. Parents need a school to be exactly their type because they are afraid of telling their kids no when God forbid their friend do things a little different. We never made fun of kids that were slightly different than us . We also didn't try to copy either. Our family does this their family does that. Today it's the schools that we gave over to raise our kids. It's the friends that rule our family. Their is less approval here coming from the older generation like we had. We also had less OTD children. Because we felt true emuna. Less focus on the levush and externals of Judaism. I'm not that old but before moving to lakewood it didn't matter to my family what "box" we fit into. My parents generation the chasidish rebbetzin the plumers wife and the rosh yeshiva wife all sat near each other in class they all turned out the be g-d fearing jews on the inside as well as the outside.

Sorry for my harsh word spoiled its a bit of an exaggeration just showing how today everything is at our fingertips.

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:53 pm

amother Honey wrote:

I went to a mixed school. I learned a great deal of knowledge about all different type of yidden. I am known to be a very accepting person. That is because we had senior kallah's in our class that wore beige tights, rosh yeshiva kids Sephardic, foreigners, kids from Russia etc. We learned about others minhagim-by the raise of hand we were given a chance to talk about our family. Each grade davened Ashkenaz or sephard, depending on the majority. My school didn't raise me. My parents were in charge of my chinuch. Why would it bother you if your kids teitch in Yiddish. Your child will just get a new set of skills. Lakewood biggest problem is it's the laser center of young spoiled parents growing a generation of young spoiled kids. Parents need a school to be exactly their type because they are afraid of telling their kids no when God forbid their friend do things a little different. We never made fun of kids that were slightly different than us . We also didn't try to copy either. Our family does this their family does that. Today it's the schools that we gave over to raise our kids. It's the friends that rule our family. Their is less approval here coming from the older generation like we had. We also had less OTD children. Because we felt true emuna. Less focus on the levush and externals of Judaism. I'm not that old but before moving to lakewood it didn't matter to my family what "box" we fit into. My parents generation the chasidish rebbetzin the plumers wife and the rosh yeshiva wife all sat near each other in class they all turned out the be g-d fearing jews on the inside as well as the outside.

Sorry for my harsh word spoiled it’s a bit of an exaggeration just showing how today everything is at our fingertips.

We all have our needs. I chose my schools based on it suiting my family. If I wanted to send to a heimish school I could have but I didn’t. I especially want a fully litvish school. So no it’s not right to try to change existing schools. There are plenty of schools that have a litvish and heimish mix everyone who wants that path can send there.

amother

Almond

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 5:17 pm

Wow such ahavas yisroel.
Oy.

Housing prices are up because of an influx of people. 1/3 chassidim and 2/3 non chasidim.
And the developers are the ones driving up prices. And they are no chasidish. They are money hungry power hungry people.

For the most part the chasidim that moved from brooklyn also opened their own schools and chedarim so chill.

Dear Lakewooders,
This is called life. Small towns become big. Yeshivish towns becomes mixed.
And next time the non jews surrounding lakewood complain about lakewood, understand that they were also “kicked out, priced out, schooled out” and their complaints are legit. Dont just say anti semitism. Atleast recognize that its human nature to not like newcomers.

This thread is false and makes me sad.

GLUE

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 5:47 pm

amother Almond wrote:

Wow such ahavas yisroel.
Oy.

1)Housing prices are up because of an influx of people. 1/3 chassidim and 2/3 non chasidim.
And the developers are the ones driving up prices. And they are no chasidish. They are money hungry power hungry people.

2)For the most part the chasidim that moved from brooklyn also opened their own schools and chedarim so chill.
This thread is false and makes me sad.

1)Many developers had shows or fairs in Brooklyn to convince people to move

2)Some did and some did not, and even the ones that did some did not take in there own people because there people would not or could not follow the rules like no driving. so don't tell me to chill.
---------------------------
The person who said there is nothing wrong with tiching in Yiddish. I disagree with you. I feel that you can either teach Yiddish or you can teach Chumash you can't do both at the same time. When you do the girls don't learn anything. I don't know about boys because all of my boys went to a school that taught Chumash not Yiddish.

amother

Chestnut

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 5:54 pm

small bean wrote:

Nusach? That's really weird and how would you know?

When I sent to Bnos Penina many years ago it was "mixed" as in Yeshivish, Heimish, Isrealy, and a bunch more thrown in.

Now it is mostly Heimish with a few others, there is a difference in how my younger daughter davens and speaks Hebrew from my older daughter, that has graduated a few years ago.

Some of the new rules in the last 2 years I am not thrilled about. But, they are tiring to cater to that crowd.

amother

Lightyellow

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 7:14 pm

amother Plum wrote:

when I read the title, I thought you meant mixed as in co-ed and was surprised cuz I'm pretty sure there has no been co-ed school since Betzalel closed down.
you mean mixed as in mix of different "types".

Isn't it interesting how back in the day all the frum kids went to Betzalel and nowadays a typical Lakewood kid can't go to Bais Yaakov Ocean County because "influence"

small bean

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 9:27 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

How do you know it's the parents vs the school making the choice because their crowd has changed and they want to have students.

Bnos Penina didn't make it as a typical lakewood school. They needed to cater to the students who would come to them.