PSA: Please say Thank You to...

amother

Sat, Sep 09 2023, 11:00 pm

Your waiter or waitress.
I am so annoyed at simchas. These waiters and waitresses rushing around serving a huge crowd. Most people don't say thank you.
Why?
It takes a second to look up and say thank you.
It makes them feel human. And makes a kiddush Hashem.

amother

Viola

Sat, Sep 09 2023, 11:07 pm

Every simcha I’ve been to everyone said thank you. But if someone naturally doesn’t I don’t think you posting will do anything to change it.

amother

Oxfordblue

Sat, Sep 09 2023, 11:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Maybe peope don't realize.
Nothing wrong with bringing awareness.
It really bothers me.

I always say thank you but it doesn’t bother me that others don’t. It’s nice, sure. But it’s not an obligation whatsoever, I’m not sure why it would affect you at all

amother

Rose

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:05 am

Maybe you don't realize or hear them saying thank you? When I'm at a simcha, the people around me all thank the waiters.

amother

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:11 am

amother Rose wrote:

Maybe you don't realize or hear them saying thank you? When I'm at a simcha, the people around me all thank the waiters.

I see many people just going on with their conversation with no acknowledgment that the waiter/ress just served them a dish.

Cheiny

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:14 am

amother OP wrote:

It bothers me when people are rude and make a chilul Hashem.

I hear you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in upscale restaurants and hear the people ordering their waitress around, without a “please” or “thank you.” I cringe. The latest one I heard was, “Get me a coke.”

What is wrong with people????

amother

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:17 am

Cheiny wrote:

That's terrible!
Rude people are rude people.
But by simchas I find even the polite ones are oblivious to their servers.

amother

Oxfordblue

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:23 am

I don’t think it’s rude. It may not be nice, and if they are speaking rudely or demanding something I understand why it would bother you. But it’s rude to not say thank you for someone doing their job? I disagree. It’s not them doing you favors, it’s the job.

amother

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:25 am

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

It's not so much rudeness as making a person feel human and appreciated.
Imagine you're serving a hall full of people dressed to the nines. And being treated like-a nothing?

theoneandonly

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:27 am

I think old school etiquette advice is that you aren't supposed to thank the waiter. No idea why, and I don't agree with it, but that was what was considered correct and proper.

amother

Oxfordblue

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:35 am

amother OP wrote:

It's not so much rudeness as making a person feel human and appreciated.
Imagine you're serving a hall full of people dressed to the nines. And being treated like-a nothing?

So some people don’t have great manners or are too preoccupied to notice their surroundings. Big deal..

I’ve worked a few different jobs where getting a thank you was very normal (waitress, cashier, etc.) it never bothered me If I someone just ignored me or carried on. Yes, being appreciated in your job is great but it’s not their responsibility to make me feel good or appreciated. It’s nice when it happens and if not, it’s fine. I never gave it a second thought. I don’t think there needs to be a whole PSA about it. People are either the please/thank you type or not.

zaq

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:43 am

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

But it’s rude to not say thank you for someone doing their job? I disagree. It’s not them doing you favors, it’s the job.

. One is still expected to thank a person for doing his or her job. Thank you doesn't mean they did you a favor. It means you acknowledge that they provided a service. I guess you don't work because if you did, you'd know that a working person wants his or her work to be appreciated and not taken for granted as if he were a machine. That IS the Torah way. Talmidei chachamim thank everyone: the waiter, the bus driver, the elevator operator, the cashier, the maintenance worker and all the "invisible" people who make your life livable. If you don't believe me, ask your Rav.

amother

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:45 am

zaq wrote:

Yes. There are many stories of talmidei chachamim who were saved because they acknowledged 'lowly' workers with a smile and a greeting every day.

amother

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:48 am

And while we're at it.
Another PSA: Please thank the wo/man holding the door open for you. Because I may just slam it in your face next time.
The last part is said in jest. But seriously, it makes my blood boil.
How many times I go out of my way to hold the door open for a woman wheeling a carriage. And she doesn't say a thank you?!

NechaMom

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:51 am

amother OP wrote:

Where do you find such rude people? Most people I know thank the waitress or door holder. I also thank the mailman and my kids bus driver if I’m out when they come. I thought it’s a given.

NechaMom

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:52 am

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

You’re supposed to thank people doing their jobs. Do you thank your cleaning lady or since you pay her you don’t say thank you? How about your kids’ teachers who are also doing their job?

amother

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 12:54 am

NechaMom wrote:

Where do you find such rude people? Most people I know thank the waitress or door holder. I also thank the mailman and my kids bus driver if I’m out when they come. I thought it’s a given.

Dunno. I see it. A lot.
Same. I thank everyone who does any service for me.