Att therapists who go down to the morahs

amother

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 1:20 am

Do you update the mom after each session?

I had a therapist recently for one of my children and once a week after each session I would call and ask how it went. It wasn't meant to be a discussion I just wanted a basic update... If there was any progress...
One week she gave me over the head that she's trying to work with her and she's doing the best she can and I don't need to contact her every week.
Woah. Even a quick text "we had a great session today" would have been nice

She's my first child getting therapy and I'm nervous for how she's doing. I'm not there to observe what's going on so I want to hear. Any therapist that came to my house I was able to observe...

Thoughts?

amother

Sunflower

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 1:33 am

Unless there's a spefic concern/change I'm usually in touch with the mother once a month (I work as a SEIT/setts provider). I'm assuming speech/PT/ot providers are in touch even less since they likely have a much bigger caseload and see each child for less time then I do.

I see 5 children a day (many see lots more, I work very part time). I don't have time for 5 phone calls each day (yes some parents are fast, but some end up being half hour long .....).

There are therapists that send a notebook back and forth and use the last few minutes of the session to write a note to update the mother. Maybe you can ask her to do that? Or a quick text?

amother

Leaf

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 1:41 am

amother OP wrote:

Omg? After each session? It’s very inappropriate to expect a free phone update after each session. You’re taking advantage. You didn’t pay for that… I’m sure it’s inadvertent and you didn’t realize, but…Imagine if the therapist had to talk to every single parent after each session each week. Would you call your child’s teacher once a week for an update? You can ask to make up a texting system where she texts u a one-liner after each session or during the last minute of the session. You talk about progress/updates every now and then…

amother

Fern

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 2:00 am

I don't work in a school but have worked with kids before as a therapist. Unless there is a major breakthrough or issue I wouldn't update after every session. I have had kids who have had therapies as well.
I don't expect a full on update after every session even when I paid privately. Quick "she did great" or "we worked on the Rs today, please continue to practice at home".

A full phone call each week? No.
If there is an issue? Crisis or major break through? Yes, get a call.

DVOM

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 6:20 am

amother OP wrote:

She shouldn't have 'gave you over the head's.

You didn't know what the protocol was for communicating with your daughters therapist. You didn't mean to put extra stress on the therapist!

She should have explained, calmly, kindly, the first of second time you called, that she is in touch with parents to update them on their kid's progress once a month, or once every six weeks, but she doesn't have the time/resources to recap each and every session with parents.

amother

Linen

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 6:26 am

Did this child get EI before they went to school? If so, you may be used to being around for the sessions and being there as the therapist was leaving so you were able to get that immediate update/feedback. It doesn't work that way anymore in school. There isn't time to give a thorough update after every session. Every 4-6 weeks is standard. Although it is fine to reach out in between with questions or to me tion some other thing you noticed and want addressed or whatever.

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:24 am

No that is not reasonable of you.

I am a therapist, I have 20+ students on my caseload and I do 10 sessions a day. I cannot make 10 phone calls a day (or send 10 texts).

By choosing a school based therapist you are giving up the ability to have regular contact. If you want an update after every session then take your child after school to a center and you will see the therapist each time.

Personally my agency requires us to contact the parents once every two months.

BrachaVHatzlocha

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:34 am

We (seits) are supposed to update parents once a month. Can be via text or call. Not every session has major goals or progress, it's a process. I can understand that you prefer more often, but it's just not possible usually.

amother

Daylily

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:34 am

I don't think it's unreasonable OP but it's definitely not self understood. I'm an ei therapist I usually update parenst via text/voicenote around every other week- once a month depending on a lot of things. Once I had a parent who after every session would txt me "how'd it go" so I realized she wanted weekly and that's what I did. She was like you she was fine with a short text she just wanted something.

amother

Anemone

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:37 am

I go according to parents' preferences. For SETSS, that's usually not too frequent as most parents don't want daily updates about fully verbal kids who can tell their parents what's going on by themselves. For my SEIT cases, the law is a minimum of once a month. Some agencies mandate once a week. Some parents want daily updates, and that's okay with me. As the mother of a nonverbal teen, I wish I got daily updates. Usually, I rely on text or email, whatever the parent prefers. I would never give a parent a hard time about calling too often, but I do admit that in my head, I made fun of a parent who wanted to know what her kid ate every day, but didn't care about academic or social progress.

imasinger

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:58 am

Now that you've gotten past the initial reaction to what she said and how, I think you can text the therapist, "I'm sorry if I overstepped. Can you please tell me the best way to get updated regularly, without driving you crazy?"

seeker

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:12 am

A phone call is intrusive, takes more time and energy and timing... a text is acceptable though after every session is a bit much. But acceptable because it's quick and can be answered at random times.

Another thing that stands out to me in your op is that you're asking about progress. Progress is gradual and asking about it every week is going to make the therapist feel very pressured and defensive, which is probably why she snapped (though one hopes the snapping point is expressed respectfully and professionally.) A more reasonable frequent update would be whether the kid was cooperative (for kids who have had issues with that) or if they worked on anything you should follow up on or reinforce home. But that should also be by text. Calls are for emergencies or major updates.

amother

Geranium

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:13 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

This exactly.

And seriously what major progress do you expect your child to make every single session?

amother

Bluebonnet

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:26 am

The therapist should give some sort of feedback after each session. It doesn’t need to be excessive, but there should be a short summary of what was done.
Parents have a right to know what is happening in the session.
If the therapist would put into a portal, or send a quick summary, the parent would NOT a have to call.
Most therapists are NOT going to follow up if they don’t have to. It’s extra work that they don’t want to do. That does not take a way from a parent actually having a responsibility to follow up on therapy of their own child.