Cooking erev yom tov -Would this be considered normal

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Succos

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amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:06 am

Dysfunctional childhood mom here.

I never had a proper yom tov as a kid - so I have no clue what is standard. My mom never ever cooked - everything was store bought. I have a handful of kids ages 8- 16.

I did shopping last night. Today I started working at 7am and now at 2pm just finished and made:
Challa
salmon
chicken soup
kneidlach
2 broccoli quiche
peanut chews
brisket
hot poppers
potato kugel
deli roll
cholent
2 trays roasted veggies

tuna and eggsalad

To me this is heroic but I wonder if all my neighbors / friends / fellow imamothers have the same type of stuff. Am I just average but since I grew up with never ever having a home cooked meal this is more than the average.

Do most women make challa every week (I started now)

Curious as to what people think.
And is it the norm that if you do not cook/freeze in advance then today it took me so many hours to prepare for second days?

When my kids were little I got away with much easier menus. Now I need at least what I prepared to get through.

Curious what the norm is

amother

Stoneblue

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:07 am

You're doing amazing! That's A LOT of food cooked in afew hours!!!

Persevere

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:09 am

I vote normal but if you were also watching kids or took any breaks, then heroic! You must have been very focused to accomplish all that in

amother

Poinsettia

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:10 am

Wow!!!! That IS heroic!!!
I'd be proud of myself if I even made a few things on that list!
You're today's Yiddishe Mama Superhero!

LittleMissMama

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:10 am

I think

1. What you make is typical for a frum hungry family on yuntif - it's indeed a lot!
2. I think all frum women are heroes!!! It's amazing what we accomplish this time of year!
3. Good for you for trying to give your family what you didn't get as a kid. You're "breaking the cycle"

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:13 am

Thank thank all. I’m just truly curious. What does your erev yom tov look like. Marathon cooking? Do you buy out? My kids were underfoot and I was relatively patient. But I do wonder what other homes are like now? Its exhausting for me.

amother

Cornsilk

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:13 am

I’m blown away.
That’s a lot.
I couldn’t manage that much.
I would have skipped the challa and one other thing, probably the peanut chews, and I’d be feeling heroic for making all that.
You owe yourself a thank you gift. Make it a top priority for when you have time. At least an iced coffee or your favorite chocolate but a great pair of boots sounds more like it to me.

amother

Crimson

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:14 am

Why is store-bought so dysfunctional?

amother

Steelblue

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:15 am

Teach me your ways! I have a colicky 2 month old and an oppositional difficult 12 yo who is bothering every single person without letup, and I cooked absolutely nothing for Yom Tov. DH is making the food. The only things I did today are nursing and breaking up fights. I barely managed to eat.

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:17 am

amother Crimson wrote:

Why is store-bought so dysfunctional?

It’s not at all. Just my mom never ever ever made food. Every single thing was store bought. Never a cholent never a kugel. Forget challa or cake. Even just a stupid piece of chicken. And she bought food I hated. There were many issues with my childhood. This is just one. It’s something I think about every erev yom tov when I cook Did anyone else grow up like this.

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:18 am

That sounds pretty heroic to me. If I had to make that stuff, I’d spread it out over a number of days.

I would be careful equating home cooked yuntif meals with function. I’m sure there were other things going on in your home growing up that’s causing you to say it was dysfunctional, but the level of your cooking should not be the barometer for measuring your own function.

My husband comes from a family whose mother and grandmother never cooked. Even now when we go there for shabbos and yuntif, it’s all takeout, and it’s lovely. Children were well cared for, looked after, loved, and the children in dh’s family all have functional, loving families of their own and everyone appreciates everyone and gets along.

Just like in that family a home-cooked meal was not a measure for anything, it should not be in yours either. Do a cheshbon every now and then to see if your children’s needs are taken care of, and assuming they are, you’re doing great no matter the source of the meal.

watergirl

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:21 am

I wish I had a medal for you! You are a hero!! To do all that in such a short time? HOW?? Can you write up when you have a chance how you managed your time so you got it all done? I need to learn from you!

egam

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:23 am

You did amazing.
The only thing I’m curious about is why your children were underfoot? They should’ve been helping you in the kitchen. Yes, even 8 years old. And definitely the oldest one.

amother

Zinnia

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:26 am

I think 7 hours sounds about right for what you made. You did make a lot, but jot excessive. You certainly worked hard and it sounds amazing!

ra_mom

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:30 am

I'd love to eat by you!
And I can hardly believe you made all that and finished by 2pm. That's amazing! It takes me longer so some items I make in advance and freeze, and the steaks, chicken, potatoes and vegetables I make today.

amother

Snowdrop

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:35 am

I also made a lot today. But basically prepped it and will put it in the oven later. I did it with the kiddos "helping" because otherwise they are fighting and I can't keep stopping every three seconds. Did it take longer having my little helpers, definitely. But otherwise it probably wouldn't get done. I baked 3 desserts, made 3 mains, 4 sided and 2 salads, plus prepped. Baruch hashem I cleaned last night so I don't have to freak about it now. I am also running some laundry my kids can't manage without. It's crazy but like others say- it's somehow typical for us moms especially with this yom tov shabbos combo. I would normally have a little more help from my husband but he learned all night and I felt like I wanted to let him sleep. He'll be up later and I'm sure he'll help with whatever is left.

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:39 am

So all of you that are saying I am heroic (lol but thank you!) you make similar but froze? You bought out? What exactly did you do to make food?

amother

Carnation

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:40 am

amother OP wrote:

I make a lot of food, more than you even, but I do it over a week or two. Doing a marathon cooking spree is DEFINITELY heroic. Make sure not to overdo it! I do a bit at a time so that I am well rested and don’t have aching feet and a mad rush to clean the kitchen all on erev yontif
And because I appreciate having a calm erev yt

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:41 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Great post. I do believe it is dysfunctional to never ever have a home cooked meal. Remember- I am not just talking yom tov. Every single night's supper, every single shabbos. Something - a piece of chicken once a year. I am talking for 20 years of my childhood. Like you wrote this is kinda the least of it but I wonder if I had a totally amazing mom who never cooked - to me it is still missing something. Am I wrong?

Actually forget chicken - give me a bowl of macaroni or french toast - nope never had that.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:41 am

Thank you op for starting this thread! I also cooked everything today in just a few hours. I always wonder if my efforts are normal, over the top, or somewhere in between. I like “heroic”!

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