Solve a disagreement... vaping

amother

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 4:27 am

Friends were discussing this issue today and it got me very curious.
How many of your teens, say ages 12-21, smoke or vape? I know this isn't scientific or anything but we were wondering how common it is.
Please include in the comments boys/girls, ages or any other info.
First time making a poll so not sure I am doing this right.

amother

Peony

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 4:32 am

Israel. one teen boy. Very common. Even if mom's reply none, if they live here in Israel they may just not realize.

amother

Cyclamen

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 4:40 am

My 2 young adults smoke ds19, 20
And ds 15 vapes occasionally
It bothers me so much
Don’t know how I went so wrong

amother

Apricot

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 4:41 am

amother Peony wrote:

Israel. one teen boy. Very common. Even if mom's reply none, if they live here in Israel they may just not realize.

In which sector are you referring to?

amother

Peony

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 6:05 am

amother Daphne wrote:

Now you are scaring me. How can I find out?

Who knows. You have to be a little tactful, shmooze about how common vaping and smoking is in yeshiva ketana and yeshiva gedolah openly with your sons, in a non judgemental way, see what they respond, see if they offer information, see if they say yea basically everyone smokes or if they are quiet and uncomfortable and take it from there. Make yourself available for open and honest dialouge in a non threatening way. Make sure they realize you know its very common here and that you aren't going to be upset if they do smoke but you'd like to know what they're up to.

amother

Bergamot

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 6:47 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

My 2 young adults smoke ds19, 20
And ds 15 vapes occasionally
It bothers me so much
Don’t know how I went so wrong

It is SO common in every community. You didn’t go wrong at all.

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 6:50 am

My brother works in one of the big yeshivos. He says that he reckons 80% of the boys vape.

amother

NeonOrange

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:00 am

We’ve discussed in the past how vaping isn’t healthy etc etc. Last week my 16yo DS told me he’s tried it a few times. I was genuinely curious what the experience was like and asked him what it feels like etc. No recriminations. But then made it clear that it shouldn’t become a regular thing. I’m not sure I handled it completely correctly, I may have sounded too eager for information and not forceful enough in my disapprovement. He says he’s not that taken by it and doesn’t plan to start vaping but I don’t really know what he’s doing whenever he’s not at home. I suppose I should at least be happy that he felt he could tell me he’s tried it 🤷‍♀️

essie14

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:02 am

DL , Israel
My kids are 18-24, none vape or smoke and none of their friends who come to my house vape or smoke.

Iymnok

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:04 am

I voted no, but I have girls in that age bracket. It’s much less common by girls.
Vaping can also be quite dangerous.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:05 am

15 yr old daughter
No vaping, no friends vaping.
Not something Ive seen in our circle.

amother

Heather

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:08 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

My 2 young adults smoke ds19, 20
And ds 15 vapes occasionally
It bothers me so much
Don’t know how I went so wrong

You didn't do wrong. It's called peer pressure, even with siblings from the same upbringing, one can have big peer pressure and feel the need to be part of everyone whilst the other doesn't.
Don't blame yourself and don't make your DC feel that they are terrible for vaping.
You can let them know occasionally it disturbs you and your happy to help find a way to stop but never that they are BAD for doing it.

amother

Peony

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:09 am

From what I've been reading I'd rather my son smoke cigarettes then vape at this point.

amother

Jean

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:18 am

amother Bergamot wrote:

It is SO common in every community. You didn’t go wrong at all.

I’m sure it occurs to some degree in every community but 12-15 year olds vaping is MUCH more common in the yeshivish community (where it’s fairly common) than in the modern orthodox community (where it’s very uncommon)

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:27 am

amother Peony wrote:

Israel. one teen boy. Very common. Even if mom's reply none, if they live here in Israel they may just not realize.

What is it called in Hebrew?

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:42 am

Brooklyn, 4 boys that age bracket.
3 wouldn't touch it under any circumstances and 1 has tried it but didn't like it (if he changes his mind at some point, I wouldn't be surprised).
The peer pressure is enormous from about 6th-7th grade.

amother

Tuberose

Sun, Oct 22 2023, 7:45 am

amother Peony wrote:

Israel. one teen boy. Very common. Even if mom's reply none, if they live here in Israel they may just not realize.

It may be common in your community. But you mentioned which community you are in and smoking is also much more prevelant in your community. Its just how it is.