My 15yr dd says most of her friends have phone w/ texting

amother

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 1:19 am

What grade did your daughter get a phone? When did you she start texting?

And let’s be honest - we all know what a “family” phone means.

My dd is in a pretty yeshivish hs and a very big percentage of her friends have phones with texting even though we all had to sign we won’t get it.

GLUE

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 4:35 am

My DD got a phone with texting in 9th grade

I did not sign anything saying I would not get her a phone

amother

Ecru

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 7:18 am

I have a teenager.
I can understand if girls are driving & then I think for safety it's a good idea.
But otherwise I'm suprised why 9th graders would be privileged with a phone

amother

Denim

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 7:49 am

do what is right for you and your family!
And if you signed you won't...then don't

you can gather like minded friends and stand strong for what you believe best

mommy3b2c

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 7:52 am

I don’t understand why any kid would not have a phone in this day and age . My kids are boys but I get them in 7th grade. And what does texting have to do with anything ? You can’t text anything more then words on a flip phone . Pictures don’t even work .

amother

Bisque

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 8:00 am

My daughter has access to a phone with texting. Yes she is one of the only ones in the family who uses it but if someone else needs to take it when they're going out they can.
She has it since eighth grade.
I personally do not have an issue with them having a phone with texting especially since I have complete control of the phone and it's not usable late at night.
So yes, I use the family phone loophole.

amother

Blue

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 8:16 am

My 9 the grade son has classmates with and without phones, with text and without texts, even a kid with a smartphone.

He knows that I don't approve of having text at this age and we talk about it a lot. He still asks for it. He's a kid. That's what kids do.

You do what you think is your best and have open conversations about why.

amother

Oldlace

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 8:25 am

Starting at 8th grade/ninth grade is average age. It’s a family phone meaning if anyone else is going out they can use it. Unfortunately in todays world it’s necessary. Not to scare you but be aware that there are so many predators out there. Girls that age start hanging out more with their friends. Pizza store/babysitting/shopping. I already got one panic call from her and I drove to go get her immediately .Bh nothing happened. Prevention is key.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 8:46 am

Just remember, purely in terms of having a means to communicate, the options that were available when we were teens aren't there anymore. No more payphones. Stores these days don't let you use their phone. So if your child is old enough to be going places without you, they should have a means of calling you.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 8:47 am

Not in Lakewood but I held out as long as possible. We had a family flip phone, talk only, for my girls to take out when babysitting. This year, my 15 yo daughter got her own flip phone but with texting for 10th grade.

(Boys are different and it's yeshiva dependent.)

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 8:54 am

My 15 year old (10th grade, Lakewood) uses my phone for texting.
I hate it. It's an invasion of my privacy. But the alternative would be to get her a phone, and we signed we wouldn't, so we don't. She'll get one in 12th grade (school rules).

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 9:00 am

Thankfully my daughter’s school has a rule that the girls have to have a flip phone. This prevents (most of) the girls from sneaking a smart phone and it also prevents us from having to lie about it, which unfortunately is what I see with my nieces in other schools.

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 9:26 am

amother Slateblue wrote:

I'm glad it works for you, but practically speaking, it means a family that has 3 daughters in high school has no choice but to pay a monthly fee for each of those daughters to have their own phone. Even if that would not be in keeping with their values and spending plan.

amother

Snapdragon

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 9:29 am

Everyondy has everybody does

we know those lines from our teenhood

Make your decision & stand your ground. If the school doesn't allow it reach out to my teacher principal or michoneches to ask what's up.

Dd 17 just got talk only phone that she has to share with 13 y o dd for now...

That's our decision for now. Whining wont help

mfb

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 9:52 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Just so you know there are definitely phones/plans that you can have a flip phone and get text pictures

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 9:56 am

Also for those that need a cheap plan there’s hello mobile (check if it works in your area) $5 plan for talk and text.
I know someone who didn’t want to get this since it has a drop of data and she was worried that her kids would take the SIM card out of the kosher phone and be able to use the data on a different device.
Just putting it out there in case anyone doesn’t realize it can be done.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 9:59 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

boys get phones older or younger?

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 10:11 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

My daughters have friends whose flip phones work like smartphones. Just saying.

synthy

Thu, Oct 26 2023, 11:32 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Unless it’s specifically blocked, flip phones can have picture text, short video text, group text, and a web browser.