Wedding Gift for Non-Jewish Colleague

amother

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 4:54 pm

I work closely with a non-Jewish woman. She has been living with her boyfriend for years (they bought a house together) and are legally married since last year. Next week is the wedding ceremony. It's on Shabbos so I'm obviously not going. (I wouldn't have gone anyway, but B"H this is a kind way to opt out without hurting her feelings.) They don't have children and they're self-sufficient and established with jobs and such, so they have everything they need. She's not the domestic type at all.

What do I give as a wedding gift? I'm totally clueless. There a no gift registry.

Any suggestions from people that know these things?

amother

DarkKhaki

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 4:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

I work closely with a non-Jewish woman. She has been living with her boyfriend for years (they bought a house together) and are legally married since last year. Next week is the wedding ceremony. It's on Shabbos so I'm obviously not going. (I wouldn't have gone anyway, but B"H this is a kind way to opt out without hurting her feelings.) They don't have children and they're self-sufficient and established with jobs and such, so they have everything they need. She's not the domestic type at all.

What do I give as a wedding gift? I'm totally clueless.

Any suggestions from people that know these things?

Ask her if she has a wedding registry which she probably does if not get her an Amazon gift card.

amother

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:00 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

Ask her if she has a wedding registry which she probably does if not get her an Amazon gift card.

An Amazon gift card is so convenient! How much? Do I buy a wedding card and just enclose it? It's not a cop-out?

amother

DarkKhaki

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

An Amazon gift card is so convenient! How much? Do I buy a wedding card and just enclose it? It's not a cop-out?

It’s not a cop out it might be the most useful thing! How much according to your budget and what you feel. I would buy a wedding card write a note why you can’t attend and wish her well

Golde

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:01 pm

Something from her registry.
If she doesn't have one; a vase, something nice for the house, a nice bottle of wine, flowers, a gift card are all fairly common wedding gifts for co-workers.

amother

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:03 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

It’s not a cop out it might be the most useful thing! How much according to your budget and what you feel. I would buy a wedding card write a note why you can’t attend and wish her well

She knows why I can't attend. She's really sweet and asked if she sends a car for me would I come 😊. She does share a lot about her home life and about her fiance. I met him at her mother's funeral. So she feels close.

Is $50 normal? I don't have a frame of reference here.

amother

DarkKhaki

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes I do think so

amother

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:05 pm

Golde wrote:

Something from her registry.
If she doesn't have one; a vase, something nice for the house, a nice bottle of wine, flowers, a gift card are all fairly common wedding gifts for co-workers.

Which type of gift card? Anywhere besides Amazon? For how much?

amother

Camellia

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

When I had similar, I gave cash. Gift card works, too--Visa gift card is good if they want to use towards a honeymoon etc. Will there be a work bridal shower? If so, that's the easiest--you can help organize/chip in to a group gift (which may actually be cash).

Golde

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Which type of gift card? Anywhere besides Amazon? For how much?

$40-50 maybe?
If it were me I would have gotten a $40 gift card from a home store if I didn't have any other specific ideas

Golde

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 5:11 pm

Golde wrote:

$40-50 maybe?
If it were me I would have gotten a $40 gift card from a home store if I didn't have any other specific ideas

I know you said she isn't the domestic type, but it's still a very common wedding present. I'm sure she can find something she likes

amother

Alyssum

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:57 am

If you don't want to give cash, you could give her a beautiful picture frame, a subscription to a magazine (travel or home), or even a stack of beautiful dish towels from Williams Sonoma (everyone needs those.) So nice that you have fostered a relationship with your colleague and a real Kiddush Hashem (which we all need right now.)

amother

Topaz

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 7:14 am

amother Sapphire wrote:

My non-Jewish co-worker gave me a $50 check.
I think cash or gift card is the way to go.

Personally, I wouldn't know what to do with cash anymore. Gift card is the way to go.

amother

Daffodil

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 7:45 am

amother Camellia wrote:

I'd recommend $50, at least. Maybe $75.

Yes, I was going to say, the non-Jewish co-workers I had gave more money for weddings than $50. It was usually $75/$100