How and when do seniors split up their gold and silver, for

amother

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 7:55 pm

Bleemee wrote:

Are you asking who decides?
I don’t understand the question

Definitely not who decides, because only the mother can decide, its her things.

Im asking how it gets divided without upsetting the kids, and anyone feeling they werent treated fairly.

happy chick

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 8:02 pm

If someone decides to do this before their passing, only they get to decide. The kids don't get to decide what's fair and what's not.

The only thing that is fair, is that if someone bought a gift for their parent(s), it's only fair that it go back to that child. Other than that, no one owes their kids anything.

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 8:03 pm

OP- are you asking for yourself ? There’s no one way to do it.
My family’s personal experience after my mother passed away, was that all her jewelry was appraised, and the total amount of the appraisal was divided by amount of children, sons and daughters. (Let’s say 100k total value of jewelry between 5 kids , each of the childrens choose 20k of jewelry.)
Then, the oldest child made the first pic, second child picked second , and so forth, and then when the last child picked her piece of jewelry, it went back again to the oldest. And so on, until all the pieces were picked. Everyone was happy with the way it turned out bh.
In some families, only the daughters get the jewelry, not the sons. But in our family it didn’t work like that.
My mothers silver was split by choice , and my mothers verbal wishes when she was alive. She also gave away some of her stuff while she was alive and the current owners kept what they were given over the years.
In families where there could be conflict I would suggest the last living parent write everything up in their will, who gets what.

amother

Magnolia

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 8:12 pm

When my father died my mom made 5 boxes of silver that she considered equal in value and threw a gorel and each kid got a box
One son wanted the box with the menora so we let him have it and the other 4 went into the gorel.
It’s really up to them when and how to do it. It’s not the kids place or business to discuss.
My sister in laws mom put stickers under each piece with names on it if kids and grandchildren and let everybody know about it before she died

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 9:07 pm

In my circles, the girl(s) generally inherits all
the jewelry. My mom (only daughter) got all her moms jewelry and she gave some valuable pieces to her sils and some smaller things to all the granddaughters but she got the bulk of the jewlery.

After the leichter (which went to my mom) the silver was split among the brothers

amother

Sage

Sun, Oct 29 2023, 9:16 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

I really like this method except that when it came time to pick the second piece I’d go in reverse order for who gets to pick (meaning the second piece gets picked from youngest to oldest order) and then for the third piece back to oldest to youngest and fourth back to youngest to oldest…