Regret not giving english names

amother

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:27 pm

My husband and I argued about giving an english name on the birth certificate, ultimately, I was post baby and out of it and he was filling in the paperwork. I asked him to wait but he was nervous that if we don’t do it in the hospital it will be more complicated. He ended up putting our child’s very Jewish name.

It bothers me so much, why does my kid need to travel and be recognized so easily everywhere as a Jew? What if things get worse and it becomes much more dangerous?

Our last name isn’t very specifically jewish, I would be so much happier if they (there’s more than one by now, once I gave in on our first I just gave up) had english neutral names on their documents.

Does anyone relate?

amother

Silver

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes.
My children have extremely secular names.

Dh grandmother survived the war by posing as a gentile.

There is a definite post shoa effect and he and his family all have secular names.

Eta: chassidish for reference

marvinkay

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:31 pm

If someone is out to get Jews, like Hamas, nazis, English names won’t save them . Our our enemies know who’s Jewish. Hebrew name is 1 of 3 things yidden kept in mitzraim. It should be a Zuchus for your kids

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:33 pm

nechamala wrote:

This exactly.

amother

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:34 pm

nechamala wrote:

My husbands winning argument.

But I just think it wouldn’t actually be their names, literally just for documentation.

amother

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:35 pm

amother Silver wrote:

Yes.
My children have extremely secular names.

Dh grandmother survived the war by posing as a gentile.

There is a definite post shoa effect and he and his family all have secular names.

Ca I say I’m a bit jealous? What did you do about last names though?

Rappel

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:36 pm

I'm actually really happy that my mother put our very Jewish names on our birth certificates.

When I made aliyah, I realized that, legally, my name had to match phonetically with my American birth certificate. If my proper name were not there, then then it would have disappeared from my Jewish identity.

There's nothing like seeing קלסי or מרגרט spelled out in Hebrew to realize how incredibly permanent names are.

amother

Navyblue

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:39 pm

I grew up in a Modern orthodox home. I have an English name - and I do my best not to use it. I am closer to yeshivish for some time now, and it feels very strange in a more "religious" community and honestly im embarrassed to tell people. So I go by my jewish name. My kids have only jewish names and peyot and I am so proud of it. We will not hide our Judaism! Am Yisrael chai!

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:45 pm

My grandparents insisted we have secular legal names ‘in case we have to hide’. I hate having a secular name and gave all of my kids very Jewish names. My face and appearance tells people I’m Jewish. My name might as well match.

seven-up

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:45 pm

What happens to a person is yad Hashem. We do our hishtadlus to protect ourselves but that is not a reason to give a secular name. It's probably not a halachik issue to have a legal name, but because that's one of the hallmarks that defines us as a Jew we (according to our family minhag) don't give one. It may be more of an issue to actually be called it all the time (in shamayim a person will be called by the name they were called by in this world) If a person is destined to suffer because they are Jewish, it will occur, secular name or not. We can't hide from Hashem.
As with anything though, ask your LOR and if he advises you to change their names, there is a process to change it but I doubt you will be able to completely erase their Hebrew names- they will probably always show up online.

Tao

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:48 pm

I give my kids English names. Nothing to do with not being proud to be Jewish. It's just super awkward to be sitting in the dentist office and hearing the poor secretary break her teeth over your Chanoch Baruch's name.
If I name a child an easy to pronounce name like Miriam I wouldn't add an English name. It also seems to me unprofessional, if your child works in a non-Jewish environment one day or interacts with a lot of non-Jews, it gets uncomfortable.

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:51 pm

I had a legal name that was different enough from my Jewish name that it caused a lot of problems. Think applying to college and having letters of recommendation written to the wrong person (and we didn't even realize that until we kept calling and calling and found out that there were two applicant files, one with my Hebrew name, and one with my English). And many more issues like that.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:53 pm

I was not strongly opined about this topic until I worked for an agency that hired teachers. Matching people up with their legal/jewish names on paperwork and in person was a huge hassle and Ive been against it ever since.

Ie if a person went to college and their real name was Chana Fine, and they used that to join up, their diploma said Hannah Fine, and their drivers license said Hannah Gold because they got married. What a mess.

amother

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:55 pm

So my Hebrew name is similar to Miriam, but we named after family and my kids are names like menucha, Baruch, Yehuda etc…

Hashem should just save all of us but I would feel better knowing I could leave my kids with my Spanish housekeeper if the worst was to come. We are Sephardi and they can pass for Spanish.

Like I have no derech hateva ideas of how I would otherwise protect them.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

I thought Sephardim give English names?