Mild Autism? | Imamother

amother

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 12:23 am

Help...

I took my 9 yo for a regular pediatric visit. He started reading a book in the lobby and brought it in with him to the exam.

When the doctor wanted to check him, he didn't let her put the light scope in his mouth to look at his throat. When she did, it looked very red. She wanted to test him for strep. He refused to let her put the swab in his mouth. He jumped off the table and tried to escape the room. I tried to hold him back, but he's a strong kid. He had been complaining of throat pain, and she really wanted to test him, so she had her assistant hold him down, the way she does for little children.

Later she called me to discuss his behavior. I've complained about him before to her, and based on this interaction in her office and my other discussions with her, she suggested I take him for a neuropsych evaluation to see if there's some mild autism. She noted that he didn't look at her the whole time he was in the office with her (15 min).

When she even mentioned the word "autism" I burst into tears. I have never, ever thought my child has autism, although I've always assumed he's different and immature. He doesn't follow directions , preferring to do his own thing, but my husband always brushed that off saying that he was like that too, when he was younger, and look how good he turned out (pretty okay, B"H).

I have no money for an expensive evaluation or years of therapy. I know how expensive this stuff is and I don't have the money. Does anyone know of any books or self-help websites that I can do with him, in case he does have it?

I'm not 100% in agreement with this suggested possible diagnosis. I never felt he was lacking in eye contact with me, although now that the pediatrician suggested it, I am more worried and watching it. However, he definitely needs some help... so I don't think it could hurt to read up and try some at-home techniques.

Does anyone have experience with this? Any and all help would be appreciated.

amother

Orange

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 12:47 am

Don't worry about expensive evaluations and therapies at this point. Start reading as much as you can and see if there is a strong possibility that the doctor's hunch is right.
Is your child doing well in school or does he need adjustments made? Is he able to connect with others? Is he suffering from sensory sensitivity? Is he stuck in black/white thinking?
Spend some time learning as much as you can and then you can think about next steps.

amother

NeonPurple

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 12:55 am

I’m shocked a pediatrician would say such a thing! It’s completely unprofessional and unethical. Does your son have speech delays or language challenges ? Does he need occupational therapy? Does he suffer with fine or gross motor, motor planning, co-ordination challenges? If your answer is no to either one of these then your child can’t qualify for an autism dx. I would spend more time searching for a new pediatrician(that understands anxiety as that is what you are describing your sons behavior is indicative of) and less time worrying about an autism dx. If there was reason to worry about autism I’m pretty certain the concerns would have presented years ago.

amother

Orange

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 1:03 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

I’m shocked a pediatrician would say such a thing! It’s completely unprofessional and unethical.

You think its unprofessional and unethical to express a concern? I think its unprofessional and unethical not to express a concern. The dr. is suggesting the mom check this out, the same way if he's tired he may suggest getting his iron checked. Does the child need to have major delays in order for it to be ethical to suggest mild autism? Have you met children with mild autism before? They may have above average speech/motor abilities but still be suffering.

If they checked it out and there is no autism, then one thing to check off the list, and keep looking for what can help the child. Why make drama where there isn't?

amother

Thistle

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 2:18 am

I'm just going to address the money concern. Autism therapies tend to get covered better than other therapies, at least assuming you live in NY/NJ. Neuropsych evaluations can be expensive. They're not always helpful or necessary. Look into the options for ASD treatment in your area and you might be surprised.

Does your son have ASD? I have no idea. Is getting ASD help as hard as it seems? No.

amother

Leaf

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 2:47 am

The term is high functioning and not mild.

My son sounds similar to yours. But at his first evaluation, they dxed him as selectively mute and adhd (the adhd is obvious lol)

He was diagnosed 6 months ago at age 6.5 with HF ASD. I was in denial for a bit but got past it.

The dx is a huge bracha. He can stay in his regular ed school but he gets so much help. And now he's starting OT.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 2:54 am

Op, if your son does have ASD, he's the exact same person you know and love right now. Nothing about him changes with a diagnosis. What may be able to change with a neurosych eval is your ability to communicate with him in a way that's more helpful and meaningful to him.

SIL pushed for an eval for her daughter just before she turned 3. The whole family dismissed her. Well she does have autism, but now, six years later, after lots of therapies, she's doing great in her social circle in a mainstream school, whereas when she was three, she would sit alone, by herself, whenever the class was together. DH had the same reaction as you when she was diagnosed. He cried. And not to discourage feeling your feelings, because you need to do that for yourself. But for the child, the struggle is not a new thing and the diagnosis (whatever it is) is a relief, if it's used to facilitate treatment.

Please please please do not try to resolve this using YouTube. Maybe start another thread saying where you're located and asking what orgs can help you with a neuropsychological evaluation?

amother

Magnolia

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 4:41 am

I know the details about the red throat and strep were meant as a side point here, but I can't help wondering if pandas is a factor behind his behavior. It can present very, very similarly to hfasd. And it seems like you took him for a well visit, which means he wasn't having typical sick symptoms even while he had an active infection going on, which is very common in kids with pandas. The description of how he was resisting the throat swab and trying to run away and nèeding to be held down sounds exactly how my kids with pandas are at the Dr when they have strep and are flaring, I'm always sure the staff think they have special needs because of how they act then... when they aren't sick they have some behavioral issues, but not at the level where anyone would suspect an actual diagnosis. Does this resonate at all, OP?

amother

Chicory

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 6:38 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

Your post reeks of judgement. No, op should not spend her time looking for a new ped.
She should spend her time seeking support for this new info given to her.
I also have a high functioning autistic child.
There is a HUGE range of symptoms & behaviours that are red flags. My son did not have speech delays. He had other things which let me to have it checked out.

amother

Diamond

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:16 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

Could it be you don't know what HFASD looks like?
My son has no language issues, no speech delays, no motor issues, no coordination challenges. These things are not relevant to a diagnosis of autism. Acc to the DSM5 there are 2 things that need to be present.
Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction
Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities

and they need to be:
Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period
Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.
These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability

I WISH with all my heart that someone had had the concern to help my son earlier. We only got the diagnosis when he was 11 and he missed many years of help that could have made a huge difference.

OP look at the label as just a pointer towards getting him the hlpe that he needs. He's still the same person but if you want to help him, you need to know how. This is the how.

amother

Foxglove

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:24 am

My son presented the same way. I too was shocked when I heard that term. I would recommend getting educated and slowly start getting your evaluations.

I’ve discovered the guttmann sisters that have a community of knowledge and support. They advised me on what is sensory. What is behavioral. And even the pandas question. Definitely encourage you to follow them and join their community. It’s been a lifesaver.

Some things I’ve realized from them. You are the best advocate. So ifnautism doesn’t resonate it may be it’s something else - anxiety or processing. Arm yourself with knowledge so you can seek the right help. And have hope. You can help him. Good luck.

happy7

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 9:10 am

In the USA, a diagnosis of ASD is a door opener.
Your child will be the same with or without a diagnosis.
You should explore getting an evaluation and go from there.
You are NOT helping your child if you don’t get a diagnosis.
I am also a mother of HFASD child. I resisted the suggestion of my pediatrician for a long time. But, ultimately, she was correct.

amother

NeonPurple

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 10:48 am

amother Orange wrote:

Drs. Can suggest getting an evaluation, or seeing a specialist in a different area but can’t offer a possible dx, that is unethical. According to DSM 5 slp +OT challenges = ASD

amother

NeonPurple

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 10:56 am

amother Diamond wrote:

Hmmm every single one of my children and husband and his whole family has HFASD so I think I know. I have been immersed in it for decades. I think you might not be understanding: “deficits in social communication “ IS a language challenge! Read what you wrote you are agreeing with me. Deficits in communication and occupational/motor challenges equal ASD. That’s exactly what I said. I don’t think you understand what I wrote or what you are saying because the information your supplying is 100% congruent with my post.

amother

Diamond

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 11:49 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

No, it says OR. Read it again.
It doesn't have to be in all.
Communication and language are not the same thing. We use language to communicate but a difficulty communicating is not indicative of specifically a language issue.

Could you soften your tone a little? It's coming over as extremely rude. Telling someone they don't know what they are saying is inappropriate.

FWIW I evaluate children for HFASD. I happen to think I do understand it.

amother

NeonPurple

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 12:12 pm

amother Diamond wrote:

I’m sorry but deficits in communication absolutely do fall under the category of SLP challenges. There are SLPs trained in this area. It is most definitely under the umbrella of language challenges. It’s called pragmatic Language challenge. I’m not the one being rude. You telling - me who has 6 kids on the spectrum (all present differently) that I don’t know what I am saying when I have been immersed in this world for over 30yrs and have seen the changes in dxs and criteria evolve is the one who is being rude.

The only way to appropriately dx HFASD is by administering the ADOS in conjunction with interviews and surveys of parents and teachers . Anyone who is honest will quietly agree that the ADOS is subjective eventhough they claim it’s not. You evaluating for HFASD doesn’t mean much . Especially since you’re not contradicting anything I’m saying, you just seem to want to argue about nothing since your post is in agreement with mine. You’re the one telling me I don’t know what I’m saying , then you write everything I had said! I highly doubt you are truly licensed to dx HFASD or your tone would be different and you would agree that it’s unethical to offer possible dxs. If you are disagreeing with that then you must not be licensed or familiar with the ethical practices of medical health professionals .