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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
Cyan
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 Sun, Nov 12 2023, 6:39 pm
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Who is the trustee on the trust ? Only your husband. That means it only belongs to him.
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Highstrung
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 6:41 pm
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I believe It means if he dies the house goes to the beneficiaries on the trust .
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:08 pm
| Highstrung wrote: | | I believe It means if he dies the house goes to the beneficiaries on the trust . |
This makes sense. Although we have been married for a long time and have children together, he has children from a previous marriage too. He probably wants to make sure that they will benefit from the sale of the house when I sell it.
I think he told me that he wrote in his will that I should stay in the house after he dies but after I move the profits from the sale include his other kids.
Please tell me if there’s anything I need to worry about.
BH he is well now. I just always worry because the house is only in his name even though I’ve been living here for many, many years. (He purchased the house before we were married)
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NotInNJMommy
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:09 pm
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It goes to the beneficiaries of the trust after the grantor passes. Often this is done to shelter assets from Medicaid. Although it’s usually not an issue if there is a surviving spouse.
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amother
Lilac
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:10 pm
Talk to an attorney and estate planner
With your husband
Make sure no one can kick you out of the house or demand you buy them out
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amother
DarkCyan
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:14 pm
| amother OP wrote: | This makes sense. Although we have been married for a long time and have children together, he has children from a previous marriage too. He probably wants to make sure that they will benefit from the sale of the house when I sell it.
I think he told me that he wrote in his will that I should stay in the house after he dies but after I move the profits from the sale include his other kids.
Please tell me if there’s anything I need to worry about.
BH he is well now. I just always worry because the house is only in his name even though I’ve been living here for many, many years. (He purchased the house before we were married) |
No need to worry. Just find out who the trust goes to, as it sound alike you don't know.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:17 pm
| amother Lilac wrote: | Talk to an attorney and estate planner
With your husband
Make sure no one can kick you out of the house or demand you buy them out |
I think my husband told me that in our state the law is that the spouse automatically gets the house even if the spouse’s name is not on the deed.
Apparently he doesn’t want me to fully get the house although he claims the will says I can live here as long as I want to and can use the profits of the sale to buy another house.
Our house is large so he’s probably assuming I will downsize at some point.
What should I be aware of while he’s still here and able to make changes if necessary?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:19 pm
| amother DarkCyan wrote: | | No need to worry. Just find out who the trust goes to, as it sound alike you don't know. |
What does trust mean? Is it the person who will oversee the money?
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amother
Hyacinth
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:21 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I think my husband told me that in our state the law is that the spouse automatically gets the house even if the spouse’s name is not on the deed.
Apparently he doesn’t want me to fully get the house although he claims the will says I can live here as long as I want to and can use the profits of the sale to buy another house.
Our house is large so he’s probably assuming I will downsize at some point.
What should I be aware of while he’s still here and able to make changes if necessary? |
Don't go by what he told you. You should see the paperwork and have the lawyer explain it to you. You must have copies of up to date paperwork. You must.
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vintagebknyc
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:34 pm
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OP, why haven't you seen your husband's will?
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lamplighter
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:38 pm
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Go with your husband to a lawyer to review the paperwork.
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amother
DarkKhaki
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:44 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I think my husband told me that in our state the law is that the spouse automatically gets the house even if the spouse’s name is not on the deed.
Apparently he doesn’t want me to fully get the house although he claims the will says I can live here as long as I want to and can use the profits of the sale to buy another house.
Our house is large so he’s probably assuming I will downsize at some point.
What should I be aware of while he’s still here and able to make changes if necessary? |
Why cant you go with DH to the lawyer who wrote the will, to review?
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amother
Valerian
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:46 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I think my husband told me that in our state the law is that the spouse automatically gets the house even if the spouse’s name is not on the deed.
Apparently he doesn’t want me to fully get the house although he claims the will says I can live here as long as I want to and can use the profits of the sale to buy another house.
Our house is large so he’s probably assuming I will downsize at some point.
What should I be aware of while he’s still here and able to make changes if necessary? |
If it's a trust the laws of inheritance won't apply.
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Cheiny
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | This makes sense. Although we have been married for a long time and have children together, he has children from a previous marriage too. He probably wants to make sure that they will benefit from the sale of the house when I sell it.
I think he told me that he wrote in his will that I should stay in the house after he dies but after I move the profits from the sale include his other kids.
Please tell me if there’s anything I need to worry about.
BH he is well now. I just always worry because the house is only in his name even though I’ve been living here for many, many years. (He purchased the house before we were married) |
You should ask to be shown exactly what the terms of the trust are. Don’t just take anyone’s word.
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Cheiny
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:50 pm
| amother Hyacinth wrote: | | Don't go by what he told you. You should see the paperwork and have the lawyer explain it to you. You must have copies of up to date paperwork. You must. |
Absolutely.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:03 pm
Thank you
This is a very sensitive subject and he gets very upset when I bring it up.
It’s as if I’m waiting for him to die and take whatever I can. This is far from the truth but whenever I bring this topic up he becomes very upset and tells me that he left me everything in his will.
I did see the will for a few seconds when he put it in front of me and told me to sign it. I didn’t understand a lot because of the legal language. It did mention most of what I wrote above but it did include his other children (all married) which I do understand. He claims he had to do things this way because he doesn’t think I would be generous with his other kids. He might be right- who knows??
When my father died I didn’t get anything. My mother did. She was able to buy things generously for her kids and grandchildren with the life insurance money. I wonder if I would specifically give his other children anything as they are married and most are well to do of their own accord. We are not wealthy but not poor either…
No, I’m not planning for his death Chas vshalom… just trying to figure things out now.
And we have our own kids together so obviously that’s something important to plan for. He does have life insurance but even though his life insurance says I should get x amount, he also designated x amount for his other kids. Not sure if this is the norm in a situation like this. His house and life insurance he wants to split between me and our kids and also his other kids.
Will I resent him for this if he goes first?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:04 pm
I guess it depends what he wrote in his will
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amother
Lightcoral
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:08 pm
Trusts are used to protect assets from going to the government instead of the family.
The fact that you are a blended family is complicated. He wants to do what he feels he wants to do. Probably he feels you won't like it that much if he isn't willing to share the details with you. Or he is easily freaked out by the topic, did the responsible paperwork but doesn't like talking about it.
How about just trusting him? Is it a bad relationship?
Also people might not carry life insurance if their assets are above a certain amount.
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amother
Valerian
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:16 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I guess it depends what he wrote in his will |
If it's in a trust, it goes directly to the beneficiary and bypasses any will.
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