I was patched as a kid. I patch as a mom. AMA response pg10

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:29 pm

Not sure I want to be the Guinea pig but I think people need to see other perspectives.

amother

Butterscotch

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:35 pm

I was only patched once in punishment as a kid. While I didn’t deserve the patch, it definitely did not leave lasting trauma. The verbal abuse that I experienced later on in my teenage years did far more damage.
My father did (lol still does) give us playful patches but those were always done with lots of laughter on both our parts and I have fond memories of those, combined with memories of tickle torture, and playfully chasing us around the house

lucky14

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:35 pm

I think there have already been sooooo many posts about this. This topic has been discussed many many times. All viewpoints given. It never goes anywhere. Just repeats and repeats and no one’s opinions change much at all.

amother

Clematis

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:37 pm

What's the benefits?
Isn't it just done as a reaction or frustration not chinuch?

amother

Glitter

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:40 pm

What’s your perspective? I can’t fathom why someone would hit a child. I consider it abuse.

amother

PlumPink

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:41 pm

Not really sure why you want to advertise that fact. How old are you?

amother

Orchid

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:41 pm

Meh, I rather my kids turn towards me rather than away from me when they do something they know they shouldn’t have.
We must have different views of the parent and child relationship.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:47 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

What's the benefits?
Isn't it just done as a reaction or frustration not chinuch?

No I don’t patch on impulse. (I wouldn’t judge someone that does though, and say that the kids are doomed, kids are resilient and can understand the cause and effect).

Some kids do really well with reward and punishment. Knowing if they cross a line they will get a patch. If they know the rules of what line they are crossing, they are warned, and the patch is given without anger it is so helpful to them and they do so well with it.

I know this as a kid and as a mom.

chocpretzel

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

There are plenty of other ways to give negative consequences that don’t involve inflicting pain.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:54 pm

amother Orchid wrote:

Meh, I rather my kids turn towards me rather than away from me when they do something they know they shouldn’t have.
We must have different views of the parent and child relationship.

I actually bh have an amazing bond with my kids. And with my parents.

My kids know I don’t resent or despise them. I don’t feel like I need to scream at them and I don’t think of them as brats.

NechaMom

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Not sure I want to be the Guinea pig but I think people need to see other perspectives.

You’re going to get a whole lot of flak for this here, but hey if you’re used to being potched you must be resilient... Punch

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:56 pm

amother PlumPink wrote:

Not really sure why you want to advertise that fact. How old are you?

In my 30s. 6 kids.

sequoia

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:57 pm

There’s no “other perspective” for beating your kids just as there’s no other perspective for starving them.

amother

Mocha

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:58 pm

I saw my brother being potched as a child and am traumatized. I wish my father never would have done that.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 11:00 pm

NechaMom wrote:

You’re going to get a whole lot of flak for this here, but hey if you’re used to being potched you must be resilient... Punch

I don’t mind people who parent without patching.

But are you toxic because you cant patch? Bc that’s worse.

amother

Clover

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 11:00 pm

I patch sometimes, when I feel like a child is out of control and needs to be knocked back to earth. I'm not very proud of it. I wish I had a better method of stopping a child once they've gone past all limits and are just going wild. It's not something I brag about or recommend as a standard chinuch tool.

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 11:01 pm

sequoia wrote:

There’s no “other perspective” for beating your kids just as there’s no other perspective for starving them.

Agree. I never said beating. Patching. And as I mentioned earlier, my kids get warned, they know why and it’s never done out of anger. I’m calm when I patch them.

amother

Mocha

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 11:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Agree. I never said beating. Patching. And as I mentioned earlier, my kids get warned, they know why and it’s never done out of anger. I’m calm when I patch them.

Poor kids. Ya know there are better tools?

amother

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 11:02 pm

amother Begonia wrote:

Do you approve of teachers hitting your kids?

No. Not their place.