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amother
OP
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 Sun, Nov 19 2023, 4:34 pm
I'm so triggered.
That woman clearly wasn't interested in changing her mindsets.
Those poor kids, innocent souls who Hashem gave us to nurture, and try our best to raise to be erliche yidden and kind, compassionate people.
I'm a mom for almost 2 decades, and have very regretfully hit my precious children, on very rare occasions. I was in an overwhelmed state,dealing with stressful situations. Not okay on my part AT ALL,just giving some background. My kids did NOTHING to deserve it. Because I believe that a child can't ever do anything which deserves a potch.
And I apologised to them afterwards, and hugged and cuddled them as well. I also reassued them that I love them, and they didn’t do anything to deserve it.
But to intentionally??!! hit your precious kid?
What can a child possibly do that can't be dealt with differently?
I'm super far from being a perfect parent, but I love my kids a lot, even though they can be super challenging. But hitting as a tool is b"h not an option.
I can only daven that I have the mental health and inner calm to use healthier, way more effective methods.
There, had to get it off my chest.
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NechaMom
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 4:50 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I'm so triggered.
That woman clearly wasn't interested in changing her mindsets.
Those poor kids, innocent souls who Hashem gave us to nurture, and try our best to raise to be erliche yidden and kind, compassionate people.
I'm a mom for almost 2 decades, and have very regretfully hit my precious children, on very rare occasions. I was in an overwhelmed state,dealing with stressful situations. Not okay on my part AT ALL,just giving some background. My kids did NOTHING to deserve it. Because I believe that a child can't ever do anything which deserves a potch.
And I apologised to them afterwards, and hugged and cuddled them as well. I also reassued them that I love them, and they didn’t do anything to deserve it.
But to intentionally??!! hit your precious kid?
What can a child possibly do that can't be dealt with differently?
I'm super far from being a perfect parent, but I love my kids a lot, even though they can be super challenging. But hitting as a tool is b"h not an option.
I can only daven that I have the mental health and inner calm to use healthier, way more effective methods.
There, had to get it off my chest. |
That op was abused herself and never healed enough to break the cycle. Did you read the post from her relative?
It’s very heartbreaking! I hope she will take the suggestions to heart.
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smss
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 4:50 pm
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Some parents need to learn to trust their own intuition more, and some parents really need to be looking outside themselves for answers.
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challah58
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 5:06 pm
What is even the logic? Hitting as a response to anything your child does is teaching them nothing good.
It teaches that it's ok to hit as long as you believe you have a good reason.
It's teaching that derech eretz means nothing, and that we show respect to our parents and listen to them just because they're bigger and stronger.
It's teaching distrust towards the people who should be the most trusted by our children.
Ironically, giving a potch because you lost control of yourself for a minute is far less scary to me and far less damaging than the calm, premeditated game of hitting described in the other thread...
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BrisketBoss
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 6:34 pm
| amother Khaki wrote: | | Why would a kid care if they get a soft smack? If it doesn’t hurt how does it deter them? |
The idea is that the child 'knows they have been punished.' They are in disgrace. The parent, not trusting the child, tries to create a negative emotional experience to keep the child in line.
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