Plz help me with professional email to decline a team lunch

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amother

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 4:34 pm

I work for a non-Jewish company. I am looking for wording to politely decline this lunch invite, we are a small group so it is about 5 ppl, I know I am not going (that is not up for debate), just want to say it in the nicest way possible. Since there are sooo many date options, it is really hard not to look like I just don't want to go (which is the case), but either way, I want to word it as best as possible.

From my manager:
I would like us to have lunch together to celebrate our successes and to give my thanks for your hard work this past year. Below are some dates and some possible locations that I found online, but I’m open to suggestions for other places.

Please RESPOND TO ME by Monday 12/04 with your availability on those dates and the location, then I will let you know the common selection.

12/06, 12/07, 12/08, 12/12, 12/13 – Manhattan

12/14 – Queens

amother

Lightgreen

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 4:45 pm

Thank you so much for the invitation.
Although it is really such a wonderful idea, unfortunately due to personal reasons I will be unable to attend.

Thank you,
Jane doe

amother

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 4:47 pm

Thanks, love the wording except the personal reasons. Any other ideas?

amother

Milk

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 4:49 pm

There’s really no graceful way to decline without giving a real reason. If it’s about kosher then just be honest.

Success10

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 4:51 pm

Do they not know you're an Orthodox Jew? Whatever you write, I think they're going to get the hint.

amother

Dimgray

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 4:56 pm

IMHO, this is what AI is for. I prefer Google bard when writing emails.

You tell it what you want, it gives you a draft, you give a feedback on the draft, and you can refine it till it says what you want to say professionally.

monseymom25

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 4:59 pm

Why don’t you want to go? If we understand that we may be able to help you better.

amother

Lightgreen

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks, love the wording except the personal reasons. Any other ideas?

Maybe say:
Due to certain reasons...

amother

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:01 pm

I don’t think he knows abt orthodox or kosher, not sure what he thinks, my previous managers all knew abt it. But honestly I decided yrs ago not to go out to eat w co-workers anymore after a bad experience. How does the following sound?

Thank you so much for the kind invitation! Unfortunately, I can’t attend, but I hope everyone has a great time!

singleagain

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:05 pm

If it's only 5 people they really try to want to make it work. You may have to explain that you don't want to socialize outside of work hours.

amother

Milk

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

That’s fine for an acquaintance’s birthday party not a team lunch at work. You need to give your boss a reason.

amother

Burntblack

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:19 pm

I've also stopped attending these events.

Once I went to something and helped myself to a cup of apple juice with an Ou symbol only to find out that someone made a treif fruit cocktail and thought using an empty apple juice container was a good idea. I was furious with them and myself.

I just say sorry I can't attend. No need to elaborate.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

You should add that you are touched/appreciate her noticing your work and her appreciation of it!

amother

Milk

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:24 pm

Just add for religious reasons.

amother

Peony

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:27 pm

amother Milk wrote:

Just add for religious reasons.

It’s not for religious reasons though.

amother

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:46 pm

It sort of is religious reasons. If it was considered totally np to socialize with non-jewish (+male) co-workers then I would never have stopped attending.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

It sort of is religious reasons. If it was considered totally np to socialize with non-jewish (+male) co-workers then I would never have stopped attending.

Just be prepared that if you say for religious reasons they may ask you to elaborate and try to figure out ways to accommodate.

amother

Moccasin

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 5:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

It sort of is religious reasons. If it was considered totally np to socialize with non-jewish (+male) co-workers then I would never have stopped attending.

I’ve had this issue and responded due to lack of childcare I won’t be able to attend

amother

Impatiens

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 6:20 pm

It’s lunch and on the clock, so lack of childcare is completely inappropriate.

Thank you so much for the invitation. I appreciate your thinking of me, but due to my kosher dietary restrictions I regretfully declined.
Have a wonderful lunch,
Chaya Sara

singleagain

Sun, Dec 03 2023, 6:21 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

And if the boss comes back with

Please tell us where we can get kosher food for you from?

What will you say now?

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