Leaving Job Security for Israel

amother

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:06 am

For years I davened for my husband to make partner in his firm. BH we have always had what we need and more but life is expensive so although we have always been able to pay our bills we never really saved. He has devoted the last 7 years to his firm. Just a few short weeks ago he and I decided to look into Aliyah. Of course, as a funny nod from Hashem his boss finally mentioned this past week that he is up for partnership. Mind you, this is a small firm so it would not throw us into wealth but probably more breathing room. Now I am scared. To turn away from just coasting to life to taking this HUGE risk to make aliyah. We have all the reasons to want to make aliyah.

The financial part is one of the main parts that is holding us back. My husband does not think his boss would want him to work remote as he is very old school and was back in his office a few days after Covid hit. I feel this emptiness of pursuing wealth in America and although our standard of living may decrease in Israel I truly believe our quality of life will improve. I don't want to go in blind but there is so much uncertainty. We both have degrees and experience and I have always worked full time. Do I want to scrimp and work for pennies while raising my children, I don't really know. I have financial anxiety like many and while we don't mind used clothing and furniture I need to know we can pay our basic bills.

My question is two fold. Despite planning to make aliyah in 18 months, I guess he has to tell them now? In addition, should we leave this all behind? Is Hashem testing us?

amother

DarkViolet

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:37 am

I have the exact same question.

My husband and I have amazing jobs that are gifts from Hashem. I thank Him every day for the jobs we have that enable us to raise our children with peace of mind. We are not even close to wealthy but our jobs give us flexibility and time to raise our children and provide our family with the basics.

These are not portable jobs (I researched it) and we would give that up for financial unknowns to make Aliyah. In addition, our children are thriving in their schools and are doing well and have friends. I cant say they would thrive in Israeli schools.

In addition, we purchased our home when housing was cheap and rates were cheap. Now prices in Israel and here have skyrocketed and rates are high.

Moving to Israel means giving up financial peace of mind, thriving children in schools that are good for them, and buying/renting a tiny apartment that will cost more than my large house.

I am willing to move to a tiny space. I am willing to deal with being an immigrant who cant speak the language, I am willing to give up the schools my children are happy in, I am willing to give up the financial stability but I don't know if I have the right to do that to my children. Will I be destroying them? Will I go from being able to make it financially to being dependent on them in future?

Some people will respond that this is absolutely what Hashem wants and making Aliyah comes before everything else in the world. I have no idea if that is true. I know that being an Eved Hashem is the most important thing in the world and if I do something to cause my children to possibly not thrive and grow in their Judaism that might be very wrong. Pulling my kids from a (simple yet) stable life where they are becoming bnai torah and bnos yisroel is not a straighforward thing. If it was just about downsizing square footage in my home or the discomfort of being an immigrant, I would do it in a second. Gashmius I can give up. My childrens happiness and ruchaniyos I cant. I dont know what the answer is.

singleagain

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:48 am

amother DarkViolet wrote:

Speaking as a child whose mother wanted to make Aliyah and did not I think mostly for us as children.... I knew how important Israel was to my mother and me personally. If she would have moved us I might have not protested but I don't know that I would have been happy.

You know your children best. And I think part of the thing is you have to have the discussion with them and judge where they might be up to if they understand and have the same love for Israel that you do etc.

I think a lot of it also depends on their ages. Once you start to hit late elementary / preteen, I think it's harder for children.

Not that it can't work but I think the children really have to be on board and want to do it. If the children are resistant I think that's just a bad recipe.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 10:18 am

I made aliya young and single. I did that because I have seen a lot of people want to make aliya but then get saddled with everyday life and then the children get older and it gets harder to uproot them. I wanted to be in Israel so I made it happen when I had no dependents.

I don't think, given some of the scenarios above, that I would have made aliya in those situations.

Every person has their place in this world, where they are meant to be. If you are settled and you have jobs that allow you to raise your kids, if they are happy and well-adjusted in your current hometown, then no I would not move to Israel.

amother

Lemon

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 10:19 am

amother DarkViolet wrote:

I wrote above that I left great job security. We weren’t wealthy from it, but we did well paying full tuition and putting aside every month. We also took our dc out of an amazing school where they were thriving in every single way.

A lot of people that make aliyah aren’t running away, we were walking towards. We really had a lot there, a cheap house bought before the market picked up, neighbors, friends, jobs, etc. We have even more here, we have a real home. We have more Godliness. Whatever am individual can accomplish there, I’ve learned it can be increased here.

My dc are still thriving. The move wasn’t easy. It was hard, we’ve since adjusted and our dc are happy and thriving physically, mentally and most importantly on a ruchniot level. I can’t answer your questions, every family is different. What I did learn is that israel isn’t the downfall of any Jew, rather the strife and struggles within each of us that can make us fail anywhere in the world. Only you know your struggles enough to answer that one.

We have no regrets.

amother

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:13 am

amother DarkViolet wrote:

My children are elementary to middle school age and while they seem very excited about the discussion of moving I don't think they can really comprehend what it means to move. They are all doing just fine in school. Again, I fear to rock the boat. Everything is A-OK but we feel this yearning to move. We also see the direction of America going downhill in front of our very eyes. From what I read it seems that olim resources have improved tremendously so while it was difficult years ago it is easier now for kids to adjust.

amother

DarkViolet

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:51 am

amother OP wrote:

Same. I think many of us here in America are having the same conversations.

I desperately wish we could pick up and go. I am trying to make it a reality but the process is so overwhelming to me.

I decided that I am just going to take it one step at a time. I am gathering my paperwork and talking to people who live there and doing research. I am not making any drastic decisions or setting an exact date.

I am davening that as I make the effort slowly to make this happen, Hashem will guide me in the right decision.

At some point we will need to either take the plunge and just do it or recognize that it is not right for my family at this time, but I am not willing to do anything drastic or shut down the idea completely.

amother

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 12:17 pm

amother DarkViolet wrote:

I don't want it to be just a conversation. I have been telling everybody maybe as a way to pressure ourselves to follow through. I just wish people would come on hear and say "YUP, WE DITCHED IT ALL AND ARE DOING GREAT!" I know I want to hear that but I hope I don't need to hear that.

amother

DarkViolet

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 12:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

I guess you are further along than I am.

I need to work with who I am, who my husband is, and who my children are.

My husband and I grew up dirt poor in unstable homes with unstable parents. I will not do that to my children because I have a deep yearning for EY.

I will do it with a thought out plan that makes sense. If I have to wait for them to finish high school then that is my reality. I will continue with my efforts and hopefully Hashem will help.

essie14

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 12:51 am

I completely gave up everything, but I came single.
I had a fantastic job, in the years before working remotely was widespread. I did a lot of networking before I made aliyah.
I came with enough savings for at least 6 months.
I went to an NBN job fair in NY. I sent my CV to everyone I knew and said 'please forward this to everyone you know in Israel '
A friend forwarded to a friend of his, and a couple months after I arrived in Israel I got a job through one of these friends. I was making a better salary here in Israel than in the states.
I don't think I would have taken this route if I was married with kids. My expenses were minimal. I also had friends who gave me their apartment for free for my first 2 months so food was basically my only major expense at that time.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 4:00 am

amother OP wrote:

This is beautiful. Any secrets for success aside from davening? Did you have jobs awaiting your arrival?

I wish I had a secret to share that could bring every Jew home to Israel. In reality, we left it all behind and it was good and it is good. Back then, it was the hardest thing in the world for me. Today, I can’t believe it took me that long to get on that silly plane to come home and I should have done it years before.

Because it was so hard for me, I started applying for jobs in the USA. I actually last minute said I’m backing out of aliyah without a job. Thankfully, I did find one before we came. The company only spoke to me out of desperation and it was only when they saw the house packed and lift being loaded over Teams that they considered me serious and offered me a job. I didn’t realize how desperate they were back then. I’m still there today, they’ve embraced me and my family. Since I’ve come, they’ve hired more religious people. I was their first.

amother

Dahlia

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 12:54 am

amother DarkViolet wrote:

You sound like a thinking , caring eved Hashem. You sound like a wise good mother who realizes her primary responsibility is to raise her children according to wjat they need to be the best ovdei Hashem they can be. I would suggest writing down your concerns about your children ans aliya and then speaking with a Rav who knows you well and can listen to you and counsel you on this major life decision. Wishing you great hatzlacha and clarity.