Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children
Officially losing it- kids won’t sleep
1  2  3  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 8:50 pm
Routine, threats, bribes, hours and hours NOTHING GETS THESE KIDS TO SLEEP. It’s ruining my life and my ability to parent.

My kids are 5 and 3, they aren’t falling asleep before 9 pm. Bedtime starts 7 currently with a bath.

I don’t have time to make phone calls or decompress or eat dinner in peace or go on the treadmill or ANYTHING.

It’s come to the point where I don’t know what to do. I’m out of ideas.
Back to top

amother
Hibiscus


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 8:52 pm
Bath starts at 7? That sounds kind of late for that age. It's possible that they're getting a second wind that's making them stay up later. I would aim for in bed by 7.
Back to top

amother
Latte


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 8:52 pm
Don’t focus on the sleep. What’s preventing them from staying in bed?
This has been a huge issue for my kids too. And it absolutely eats at the quality of my life.
Back to top

amother
Oak


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 8:54 pm
Wow this is literally us word for word!
I'm currently on the couch while my husband is in the room with them because I was losing it.
It's really ruining our lives. I'm so exhausted by the time they're finally sleeping that I just crash and fall asleep too.
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Major hugs!
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:04 pm
amother Oak wrote:
Wow this is literally us word for word!
I'm currently on the couch while my husband is in the room with them because I was losing it.
It's really ruining our lives. I'm so exhausted by the time they're finally sleeping that I just crash and fall asleep too.
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Major hugs!


My husband is never home for bedtime except shabbos. So it’s just me and if I’m losing it I just lose it. No backup.

I feel like it undermines my ability to connect and parent during the day also, I’m so resentful and tired and feel sucked dry. And for my kids as much as I try I get so mean when it’s late.
Back to top

amother
DarkYellow


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:05 pm
Same. Melatonin saved my life
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:05 pm
amother Latte wrote:
Don’t focus on the sleep. What’s preventing them from staying in bed?
This has been a huge issue for my kids too. And it absolutely eats at the quality of my life.


They are little but not in cribs. What’s keeping them in bed if they are not sleeping? I’ve tried charts/ bribes and threats. Doesn’t work.
Back to top

amother
Oak


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:06 pm
amother OP wrote:
My husband is never home for bedtime except shabbos. So it’s just me and if I’m losing it I just lose it. No backup.

I feel like it undermines my ability to connect and parent during the day also, I’m so resentful and tired and feel sucked dry. And for my kids as much as I try I get so mean when it’s late.


Ugh I feel you I'm so sorry!!
And that's so tough that your husband is never home then!
For my husband it's unpredictable.
Tonight I called him and begged him to come home already because I was losing it and falling asleep myself. He'll have to daven maariv later.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:08 pm
amother Hibiscus wrote:
Bath starts at 7? That sounds kind of late for that age. It's possible that they're getting a second wind that's making them stay up later. I would aim for in bed by 7.


It’s more like 645 actually. They’re in bed by 7:15/30. They have never fallen asleep earlier, ever. Not for lack of trying (we tried shifting earlier with the clock change etc.) if I put them in earlier they just lay and get frustrated and then have a second wind.they wake up around 7/ 7:30 am naturally as well so it makes sense to me.
Back to top

amother
Peachpuff


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:09 pm
amother DarkYellow wrote:
Same. Melatonin saved my life


Same. I know some people are against it but to me it's worth it. Changed everything for me. Rather the small risk of taking 1mg melatonin to the big risk of messing up my kids bec they won't sleep (and the effect it was having on me and my parenting)
Back to top

amother
Bone


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:11 pm
Maybe put them in a little later? My kids are early risers but I never put them in before 8 or they wouldn't fall asleep. However, there ias never any coming out of the bed bh. They can lay in bed until they fall asleep but they know not to come out. Would it help them to look at books? Listen to story tapes?
Back to top

amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:12 pm
Yes I would recommend starting bath time earlier so you can get them in bed earlier.
Maybe try night light? Soft music/noise machine? Or even let them play or hold a little toy in bed to incentivize them to stay in bed and hopefully fall asleep?

My issue is with kids a little older who have HW.. we eat around 6. HW can take up to 45 min or longer and it’s a constant juggle between HW with big kids + trying to get little kids in bath/bed and keep them in bed while big kids shower … and then next thing I know it’s 830 and everyone wants a turn with me saying shema, laying with them. And sometimes younger kids still up too. I feel bad saying I’m burnt out but my nights feel endless and it’s sapping me of energy and patience Crying
Back to top

amother
Mintgreen


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:16 pm
Sleepy from bioray
Magnesium footsoaks
Diffuse calming essential oils
Eliminate sugar, msg and other inflammatory foods from their diet.
Back to top

amother
Clover


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:25 pm
Turn all the lights off in the house. Don’t speak to them once you say goodnight. They come out you take their hand and firmly walk them back to bed. Over and over again without a word. When they start staying in their room you make a huge deal about it the next morning.
Back to top

amother
Hibiscus


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 9:27 pm
Do you sit in the room with them? My kids don't try much when I'm sitting right there.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 10:55 pm
amother Hibiscus wrote:
Do you sit in the room with them? My kids don't try much when I'm sitting right there.


Yes. They run off the bed, jump, etc. I tried physically patting/ holding gently. Nothing works until they decide they are ready to sleep and they conk out.
Back to top

amother
Daffodil


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 10:57 pm
Why are you staying in the room? Close the light, close the door, leave the room. When they’re tired they’ll fall asleep. And maybe if they see you ‘caring’ less they won’t fight it

(I’ve never ever stayed in room till kid falls asleep so maybe the concept is lost on me)
Back to top

amother
Rainbow


 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:09 pm
An easy thing to try is 2 cups of Epsom salt in their bath. May not work but little to lose.
Back to top

giftedmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:15 pm
Some kids just need less sleep. If they consistently go to sleep by 9 and wake up by themselves I’d just push their bedtime.
I know, I know, I remember those days when the kids were little and I thought I needed all of that time to myself.
Things got better when they learned to read so they had an incentive to stay in bed.
Nowadays with my oldest only going to sleep when I go to sleep, I’m chilled about the younger ones and life is definitely easier when I’m not so uptight about a specific bedtime.
Back to top

amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2023, 2:24 am
How would Epson salts help?
Back to top
Page 1 of 3 1  2  3  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Do you go to sleep in a clean bedroom every night? 28 Today at 12:40 am View last post
by sbil
Kids Shabbos shoes
by amother
11 Yesterday at 11:06 pm View last post
[ Poll ] What do your kids call you?
by amother
31 Yesterday at 7:33 pm View last post
Kids glasses
by amother
2 Yesterday at 4:37 pm View last post
Idea for kids to dress up as together- teens to babies!
by amother
8 Yesterday at 6:16 am View last post