I am a teacher and not one student brought me a letter

amother

Snowflake

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 12:59 pm

Genius wrote:

It seems like you think you also deserve, only nobody gives it… I’m sure you do. Buy yourself a donut.

Nope
I dont think I deserve anything from anyone
Besides for a paycheck from my boss. After all I do work to make a living.
That doesnt mean I dont treat myself to donuts here and there, I do Tongue Out

Cheiny

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:01 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

I agree that it's a horrible attitude and huge lack of middos, but I would probably still give because I don't want my child to suffer. It's still early in the year and I want my child to be on their teacher's good side
Let's be honest that all of this gifting is more about bribing and (a lot) less about hakaras hatov

Isn’t that horrible that we have to worry about bribing our kids’ teachers?? Again, I hope my kids’ teachers can’t be bribed or bought off. They should treat every child equally no matter whether they receive gifts or not…

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:10 pm

I may be a little naïve mother bec I only have younger kids but I am so so appreciative that my daughter learns the parsha, and learns to daven and learns to love Hashem etc . these are things that I do my best to instill but the fact that some wonderful woman out there is also giving of her self to help mold my kids into future Jewish adults who have a strong connection to Hashem... there is nothing I could give to repay that fully.

and yes - I dont know why chanukah is connected to the hakaras hatov specifically but who cares..
its always a good time to show appreciation and if it became normal to do itnow.. great.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:13 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

but a teacher who is literally helping building the foundation of who your child can become deserves appreciation.. whats the connection to what your own job is?

NechaMom

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:14 pm

YounginBP wrote:

I'm going to guess that OP is in EY and her school is closed for the week?

I thought this too when saw all replies that it’s not chanuka yet.

I like the system in my kids’ school where all mothers chip in for a chanuka gift (usually cash) for the teacher. One class mother is in charge of collecting and presents it nicely with a note. Mothers are not forced to give if they can’t. They get a note one time as a reminder but it’s optional. Whoever can gives.

So if OP is off for the week and got zero recognition I can understand feeling under appreciated.

I hope she’ll still get something.

amother

Poppy

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:24 pm

Are other teachers in your school getting stuff? If most are and you are one of a few who's not, I totally understand why your feelings would be hurt and you might feel unliked.

If nobody is, then it's probably just the school culture and try not to take it personally.

Goody2shoes

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:26 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

but a teacher who is literally helping building the foundation of who your child can become deserves appreciation.. whats the connection to what your own job is?

Nothing.
I'm only bringing home the dough to pay this teacher who's building my child's foundation.

amother

Natural

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:27 pm

amother Whitewash wrote:

It's not even Chanukah yet.

Give it time.

I'm planning on sending my gifts/ letters on Tuesday since that's the day my child has his therapist so I can send them all the same day

Me too
My kids have off till Tuesday. Planning on giving then

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:27 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

I dunno
All these chanuka gifting and tipping threads are rubbing me the wrong way
I work in an office. No one ever tips me or writes notes to me. Im a hard worker who deals with people all day long
Bu it get paid by my boss for what I do
What is it with this attitude of 'I deserve notes and gifts and tips'
Mad

this
I am a social worker in a hospital. I literally hold up parents - physically and emotionally when they are falling apart. I listen and comfort as they cry. I give creative and practical solutions for juggling home and hospital. You know what I get for Chanuka every year? N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
And my pay stinks.
The entitled attitude of the OP really rubs me the wrong way.

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:30 pm

I gave my kids Morahs their gifts today bec their schools are closed for a big part of Chanukah.
Also, I gave cash bec I know some of the Morahs are struggling. I would like them to be able to purchase something for their kids ( donuts, treats, Chanukah gelt) during the first days of Chanukah/ Chanukah vacation.

amother

Leaf

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:30 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

Just wait till your kids get older and you have dozens of teachers, therapists, bus drivers and more to give hakaras hatov to.

There's the financial aspect, the amount of time needed, the headspace when you're running a house for a large family while dealing with married kids, shachanim, eldlerly parents, work and other life challenges.

Then repeat the process for purim too.

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:35 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

I’m sorry you aren’t shown any appreciation by your boss this time of year. All my friends that work in offices either get holiday bonuses or the company buys the same gift for all their employees.
Lakewood for reference.
My husband works for a company that hires a lot of non Jewish employees and they definitely expect their holiday bonuses and company holiday party.
I’m not sure where you are located , but this is society these days. People expect more than our grandparents did

amother

Honeysuckle

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:44 pm

Tips are usually for workers who are in a certain exact spot of being customer facing but not too "powerful." That's why waiters, yes, children's teachers, usually yes, own therapist, no, child's therapist maybe.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:45 pm

I am a mom who REALLY appreciates my kids teachers and chip in for the class gift AS WELL as my own thoughtful gift and letter that I take time to write.

I have the gifts ready, and thought this morning back and forth about sending the gift because on one hand it's not chanukah yet, but on the other hand there is no school tomorrow or monday and by the time I give the gift it'll be tuesday and I wanted to avoid the teacher feeling like you- that she didnt get anything. BUt in the end I held back since I really felt silly sending the gift before chanuka even starts.

At the end of the day, it's literally not chanuka and I really wouldnt assume that the holiday came and went and you got nothing.

smss

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:57 pm

All of you office workers, social workers etc who work hard (and I am sure you do!) without appreciation - do any of you care for the same clients 1-4+ hours every single day for 10 months straight?

I understand that your energy output is huge and that you are impacting others, but is the level of care/time/energy spent on any one client anywhere near where it is for each student a teacher has?

You should be appreciated! Everyone should! But I'd think it's on your bosses. And yes it is sad and unfair that they're not doing it.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:00 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

By that logic, if the company gives gifts to the employees then the school owners should be giving gifts to the teachers. Not the parents who in many cases are paying very high tuition.

amother

Linen

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:06 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

By that logic, if the company gives gifts to the employees then the school owners should be giving gifts to the teachers. Not the parents who in many cases are paying very high tuition.

And the schools do gift the teachers. Asking parents to tip them is like asking my clients to tip me for investing my time and efforts over the past few months in them.
people in other professions work just as hard as teachers, often even harder. We invest and care for our clients who are sometimes with us for years. It's a chutzpa to push it away as the lesser profession.