Do you give older single kids who don’t live at home chanuka

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah

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amother

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:17 pm

If they work and make money.

amother

Antiquewhite

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:22 pm

Yes

singleagain

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:23 pm

Why would you treat your kids differently? Either give them all gifts or don't give any of them gifts.

amother

Blue

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:24 pm

My parents and in laws give to all their kids, regardless of their status.

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:27 pm

Yes of course I give all my kids, single, married , live at home or not. All get gelt.

amother

Calendula

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:11 pm

For years my MIL made a Chanuka party. She got all the grandkids something cheap from Amazing Savings.

Except for us, of course, as we live out of town.. I understood but always felt slightly bad.

This year she bought gifts from Amazon and decided to include us. She sent it to us already and told me I can give them to my kids. They are so happy, and I feel so included!

I would absolutely give my single kids Chanuka gelt, whether they were home or not.

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 4:29 pm

So you Zelle them money. How do you send it and how much

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 4:31 pm

I'm not at that stage but my grandmother told me once I got married that now I won't be getting any birthday or chanukah money. When I had kids they got. It stung. She gives very little but honestly it just isn't nice.

singleagain

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 4:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

So you Zelle them money. How do you send it and how much

What did you use to do while they were growing up?

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 4:34 pm

My parents give us all $100. I know others who give much more, and others who give less. They give it in a check with a note
I appreciate it more than a zelle

amother

Apricot

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 3:43 am

Definitely. I'm grateful that I can. If I could not afford it, I'd make a nice cookie and brownie platter and deliver that.

mfb

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 4:27 am

If you can’t give older kids it should be set to a specific age for example you give until age 20 regardless of status…

Einikel

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 4:32 am

If you can give cash it feels more special IMO

amother

Cobalt

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 5:30 am

We don’t give to any of our kids specifically on Hanukkah. We are very very generous throughout the year and even with our married kids just not specifically in Chanukah. But my parents like to give to the kids we are in Israel and they give the same to each of the new grandkids. It makes them feels also included in the family. In fact, they needed a lot more than my single kids because we help the singles with almost everything and my married kids have to manage with things on their own. I say gives everyone!

amother

Mulberry

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 6:31 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

Yes of course I give all my kids, single, married , live at home or not. All get gelt.

ETA and so do the grandchildren. They're too young to use money so I send money to their parents depending on how many kids they have.

amother

Oleander

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 7:22 pm

My parents aren’t super formal about chanuka gifts- growing up my mom would usually give us gloves/ scarf/ coat as needed and we would do a fun activity.

But when I was 21, working and single, they got me a ring for chanuka. It wasn’t particularly expensive but it was so meaningful to me. I was single for a few more years and really loved that ring. I was so touched. Especially when single no one is giving you gifts, small or big it’s so nice to feel cherished.

amother

Yellow

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 7:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

So you Zelle them money. How do you send it and how much

It's not about that. It's not child support. It's about feeling loved and connected. You give according to your means, more or less is fine. It's not about the number.

Definitely would prefer a check with a note in the mail if I lived OOT. If I live locally, cash in person. Even $20 - if that's what you can afford - or even a cheap gift, that shows you care.

And your single working kids may not need the money, but they do need your love and respect. Even more.

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