I don't like Chanukah

amother

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 2:19 pm

I don't like chanukah or purim or any holiday that's supposed to be fun for your children. It's supposed to be happy and cosy with family games and chanukah party's. I'm so bad at being that fun mum I don't know how to make it fun for my kids besides for putting some music on and giving gifts. That's all no games no fun the kids just go off and do their own thing. We don't have any family where I live so no party's to go to and no one to invite. Purim is the same story. If we do attempt to play a game it always ends with the kids fighting. I'm not good at cooking nice dishes either or coming up with delicious things I'm just plain and boring and I feel so guilty my kids don't get that fun experience because I'm no fun. DH will dance a bit and sing with them but he doesn't play games etc
Anyone relate? I'm feeling really depressed about it

ray family

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 2:52 pm

I’m also pretty basic,
But I try to do what’s in my capacity
A take the kids for a walk after candle lighting to look at the menorahs in the neighborhood.

If you’re not up to making doughnuts you can buy plain ones and let the kids decorate with ganache (takes 2 min to make out a drop on milk or heavy cream on top of choc chips or broken pieces of milk. Heat, mix and let melt. Or you can do it the more complicated way on top of a double boiler) and sprinkles.

Print Chanukah coloring pages.

Buy some arts and crafts stuff

Put music on in the background

Classic dreidel

You don’t have to be having a blast. Just try to have some stuff to keep the kids busy and create some positive memories.

And yes, the kids will still cry and fight through this but hopefully they’ll look back fondly.

behappy2

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 7:12 pm

The kids fighting is part of it, it doesn't mean they aren't enjoying it.

Don't pressure yourself to do something fun every night. You're kids probably do fun things in school and the lighting, singing and donuts and presents can be enough. You can take them to a park or ice cream store on their day off.

Let go of all this guilt and pressure.

amother

Birch

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 2:56 am

There are some things you can do to make it fun. I always buy nice paper goods for my family with a Chanukah design. Amazing Savings usually has a nice selection. If you can't spend on the Chanukah one, you can just use blue and white Dixie plates on top of a blue tablecloth. I buy chocolate gelt and scatter it around the tablecloth. This year, instead of Shabbos flowers, I bought a big bunch of balloons for the table in blue and white. That was a hit. I buy doughnuts, which the kids like. We do a funny dance for Maoz Tzur and Hanerot Hallalu. I also played Chanukah music in the car to make it feel festive. One year, I took cut up fruit and arranged it in the shape of a menorah. Another year, we did a draydl. I think the key to making it fun is getting the kids involved. Can you bake some cookies or even a box of Duncan Hines brownies, which you can then decorate with colorful candies? Make pancakes or French toast as a special breakfast. You can even drizzle the pancake batter in the shape of a draydl if you're being creative. Add a box of Franks n blanks and mini latkes with apple sauce to dinner to make it exciting. You don't need to do all this stuff. Pick one or two to add a little pizazz. Also, give yourself a little credit. I'm sure your food is not boring and you're a good mom working hard to take care of your kids.

amother

Denim

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 3:07 am

I don't like it either OP! I work full full time (not by choice, required to pay tuition, medical and other bills...) so don't have time or energy to do fun things after getting home after 5pm. No local family for parties.

My kids hear about everyone else's parties and are jealous. DH doesn't sing or dance with the kids.
We do gifts and I try to do a treat with them. Maybe buy donuts once.
But it is just lame for them, especially as they get older. And hear about friends trips, where they went on Chanukah break, their parties...
We don't have tons of money and I can't take off tons of time from work.
And yeah, I do the fun tablecloth or a themed decoration for Chanukah but it's not like having the cousins over.

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 5:19 am

My memories of Chanuka from growing up are not particularly "fun" but more warm. I have very fond memories of everyone singing by the menorah and then it was donut time, on the first night we got presents. When I was really young my father would dance with us as we sang maoz tzur.

Very simple things - no major activities or anything but still gives me really fond memories and very warm feelings!

amother

Begonia

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 10:37 am

Expectations sure have risen since my childhood. Candles, Maoz Tzur, latkes, some Chanuka gelt-- for which we wrote and mailed real thank you notes, btw-- a dreidel and a few chocolate coins and that was a celebration. Plus two days off from school. What more does a kid need?

amother

Feverfew

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 11:31 am

How old are your kids? My teen dd made cookies and then used cookie cutters with her younger sisters.
My dh took dough my dd made for challah and fried it into balla. It was a hit.
My 9 year old made the knapkins on shabbos in a dreidel shape. She learned it from a zoom tehillim thing.
We ( everyone but dh) danced around, we listened to Chanukah music Kids played dreidel with clicks, we are at a neighborhood shul party now ..

It is hard though that we aren't getting together with family....live oot and no one's traveling either direction...

amother

Feverfew

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 11:31 am

giftedmom

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 11:37 am

There are small things that can make a huge difference with minimal effort.
Chanukah themed table setup
Small Chanukah prizes and ready crafts (I give one of each every day, from amazing savings)
Chanukah foods like donuts and latkes, can be store bought.
These don’t require creativity or much work and really make a difference