Toronto community | Imamother

amother

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 8:25 am

Hi. We are looking into a few communities. One that is probably a no but still want to find out more about is Toronto. We are looking for a lower key place than NY/Lakewood - not the super OOT feel, but a place that is not so "lakewoody" if you know what I mean. For example, we don't want our kids to NEED the name brands to fit in. We want a good, frum, yeshivish community without the jappyness of the east coast. I want to be able to go to the store in a tichel for example
I know this is very generalizing but I am trying to get a feel. A friend told me not to even consider Torotno because it is " just as bad there"....thoughts?

teachkids

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 8:27 am

I don't know if this matters to you but Toronto housing is very expensive. Also remember it's another country, so unless you're Canadian getting visas to move there and work is complicated

amother

Red

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 8:32 am

I go to the store in a snood LOL

I find it, to a certain extent, depends on your/your kids personality.
Toronto is a big enough community that there are def ppl who are into brand names etc. and if you want to fall down that rabbit hole there's def room to do that here.
example. my son has a few boys in his class with blendstones? blansdtones? I dont even know what theyre really called. another mom in the class called me that her son has been begging her for them, should she buy. she decided to get him a pair of booties that have a similar look from Zara.
my son, on the other hand, has never made mention of anything anyone in his class has.
So my answer is, as stated above, I think it depends. No one looks at me funny (I dont think) when Im out in a snood, but in conversation, some of my friends think Im nuts.

amother

Clematis

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 8:40 am

Lakewood has a large percentage that wear a snood to the store and are low key. Because it’s such a big place there are many schools and areas that are low pressure and don’t care about these things. My friend in a small oot asks me to tell her what the in kids wear every season because her kids are upset when she doesn’t buy the right things. It’s really dependent on who you surround yourself with and you can’t escape it in most places nowadays even oot.

amother

Coffee

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 8:57 am

There are 2 areas in Toronto that are a bit different from each other. Down south is definitely more pressure. My relatives would never go out on a snood although maybe some others would. In Thornhill it will be a little easier but in school they may have the same pressure. Overall it is a wealthy city although of course there are many not wealthy people as well. It is an expensive city to live in overall with housing and food.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:03 am

I’m not sure what you mean by lakewoody. Lakewood is huge and there are a lot of different people there but it seems you’re concerned about the part that’s into brand names and won’t wear a snood to go the grocery. To answer your question, you’d find Toronto very similar. It doesn’t have the oot feel because it’s a big community. There are a lot of Toronto families with magnificent houses and live the designer lifestyle. If you notice it in Lakewood you’ll definitely notice it there. The difference is that those houses cost double or more than they do in Lakewood. It’s an expensive place to live. Even a modest house might be way out of your price range. Check it out. If you find you’re anyway priced out of the market your decision will be easy.

amother

Jade

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:03 am

If those are your priorities it’s not the city for you. I have small kids to teens- there is a lot of designer and keeping up with the Jones-es. In most frum circles plus it’s crazy crazy expensive to own a home unless you are gifted a home by parents/ relatives

amother

Jade

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:17 am

amother Coral wrote:

OP, what is your housing budget? A tiny rundown house in the frum area will cost at least the equivalent of 1 mil USD.

Maybe before Corona…
Not too much at that price nowadays

amother

Crystal

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:19 am

I don't live in Toronto but....

My son is there. He said the guys are shticky in dress and housing is crazy expensive.

That said the chesed and hachnasas orchim in Toronto is beyond amazing.

amother

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:29 am

So the feeling I'm getting is that it is not really OOT...More like very in town that happens to be in a different country
to answer the question about housing, we were only slightly considering it because we have a family house we might be able to live in - long story. But I don't want to go there if it isn't the right fit for us.

amother

Brass

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:35 am

I live in Thornhill area so not the down south but my kids go to school down south. I personally do find it’s substantially different from the Lakewood feel. Although there is a lot of keeping up with Jones’ I think you can also be equally accepted and not judged if you choose not to have that lifestyle.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:55 am

amother OP wrote:

Thornhill and Toronto are so far apart it’s almost two different places. If you’re considering living in a specific house find out which area it’s in. If you might be able to live in it does that mean you might have access to some of the money if it’s sold? You might do well suggesting to your relatives that they sell. Even if you divide the money and you only get a small portion of it it could help you buy a house. Your relatives might not realize what a valuable property they’re holding on to.

amother

Crystal

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 9:56 am

From my understanding it's not as in towny as Lakewood, but more in towny than other OOT communities.

My son is not shticky at all and feels very comfortable with the "shticky" people. Seems that nobody looks down.

amother

Brass

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 10:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks - do you think it is the same down south?

I’d say most people are wearing sheitels maybe a snood if it’s erev shabbos running around but again that being said I wear a tichel always and don’t feel looked down upon. There are teachers at the bais yaakov school that don’t even wear sheitels.

amother

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 10:19 am

so coincidently, my friend just called me to see if I know anything about the seminary in Toronto. Her daughter is not sure she wants to go to Israel and heard there us a sem there. I was the wrong person to ask since I didn't even know the seminary existed....but since we are discussing Toronto here, please help me help her. They are from the midwest and her daughter is a very solid, frum, yeshivish girl who is looking for a good sem experience with an oot feel. Anyone know about it?