Are you a SAHM whose youngest is already in school?

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:55 am

I was a SAHM since I had my third child. BH I had a couple more since then. This year my youngest went to school already and although there’s always something to do in the house I feel a little empty. Like I SHOULD be working because I have no excuse (to myself, I don’t feel the need to excuse myself to others) that I’m taking care of a baby all day.
Financially, we are managing with DHs income but no extras or luxuries. We live a very simple/lower class life and we are fine with it.
I imagine that if I’d take a PT job I’d earn pennies since I have no degree or experience in anything current. Makes it feel not worth it. Because even though I have a couple hours every day that the kids are out there are still always unexpected appointments, kids sick, kids school vacation, other commitments that if I’d be tied up in a job would make it quite stressful to find childcare for when I do belong home. So it would really have to be worth it for me to commit to a job and for $25 an hour (starting rate?) I can’t see it be worth it.
I’m just wondering what other mothers in my shoes do. Are there WAHM options for 2-3 hours a day that actually pays well? Any other ideas? (Not looking for volunteer work.)

amother

Tan

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:02 am

My youngest is in preschool and I'm loving the quiet few hours of the day. The day is short & there's so much to do. I would lose my sanity if I needed to go to work as well, that's why I gave up my job. I couldn't handle it.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:04 am

amother Tan wrote:

On a regular day I wouldn’t lose my sanity. I’d manage to work and keep house. My concern is the commitment since we never know what comes up with a family of kids.

amother

Dahlia

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:06 am

My youngest is in school. I'm home most days and I love it. I love the alone time. I love the peace and quiet of those few hours. Do I feel like I should be doing more? Yeah, at times I do. But I run on low energy, and I need this. I sometimes even take daytime naps and they're glorious!

amother

Carnation

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:10 am

amother Tan wrote:

Same.
People alwasy ask me what do you do all day?
Hello? Laundry doesnt get done on its own.
Dinner doesnt get done on its own
Tidying doesnt get done on its own
Cleaning doesnt get done on its own(yes I have cleaning help)
the day is so short
oh and most importantly! we work so hard bring up our kids ect. whats a few hours of relaxing/quiet time during the day. I feel very refreshed when the kids come home from school. I wait for them all day.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:15 am

amother Carnation wrote:

I don’t care about people’s comments but I don’t spend from 9-3 doing what you listed. I dont spend more than an hour on average doing all this. I don’t tidy all day. I also have no problem doing laundry in the afternoon or sundays. My point is that I’m actually available to work 2-3 hours per day but it has to be worth the hassle.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:30 am

I’m so so blessed to have found a job that perfectly fits my situation.

I work from home. About 6 hours a week (I could work more if I wanted to) my boss is very flexible and very menschlich. I know, very rare. As long as my work gets done he doesn’t care what day/time I work.

I love the satisfaction of running his small business, getting things done and cleaning up the neglect of many years of mismanagement.

In the beginning I was thinking it’s not worth working such little hours because the money is not much. But:

1. It does wonders for my mental health. That I have a change of pace
2. Pocket money is also something
3. I started low but he raised me.

Don’t let the thought of how much will I already earn deter you. Everyone starts somewhere.

People who are bored shop or go out for lunch with friends. I sometimes do. But not often because I have a job that keeps me busy. So not only do I earn some money but I don’t have time to spend.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:30 am

amother OP wrote:

you don't seem like you are looking for a job if you are saying for maybe 2 hours a day. Usually to make real money need a bigger commitment than that.

amother

Oak

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:31 am

My youngest is now in preschool and I'm still a SAHM. Is every minute of my day busy? No, but there is still plenty to do. I'm not a high energy person so a lot of what a working mom does at night I accomplish during the day and then collapse at night. I'm constantly doing laundry and cooking for the freezer or making a fresh hot dinner. There are plenty of errands that need running. With a bunch of kids, invariably there is someone that has an appointment for something or another one who is sick and staying home. I definitely appreciate not having to scramble for childcare or rearrange my whole day because I have a child home sick. Sometimes I have to postpone or cancel my own appointments, but I manage.

I have some chronic health issues so I always have some kind of appointment with a doctor or physical therapist or alternative practitioner at least once a week if not more. I volunteer with an organization that I have to commit certain hours to. I keep busy enough, but I also appreciate the down time while my kids are in school. I need some quiet to recharge my own batteries so I can be present for my family. I have done some work from home in the past, but I had to quit for health reasons at one point and I haven't tried to find anything new since.

amother

Mintgreen

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:46 am

I have been home for mamy years with all my kids in school.

Dh has the type of job with long hours often, so I'm always on at night, from when they get home until the last goes to bed- and beyond (I have some rotten sleepers, and often need to take a nap during the day to make it up.) Also in the morning on my own. He also doesn't have much flexibility to take off for kids getting sick or any appointments. And I have kids with multiple appointments and various meeds. It's easier to be home.

During the day, I take care of household tasks and go to free classes or shiurim. I would and have taken commitments in the past that were about getting something done but not about when, both paid and volunteer. I need a very flexible schedule and I desperately need down time, which never happens when the kids are home. So this works.

honey36

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:53 am

I think it's worth it to get a part time job now despite all your hesitancies.

Reason is, think of the future. What will you do in 10, 20, 30 years from now when your an empty nester or kids are in school for even longer hours. So may as well enter the work force now so that when you have even more time on your hands, you don't have to start from scratch.

Also, I kind of hear what your saying about kids getting sick/appointments, but I don't think that's a great reason. As long as your job is flexible it should be fine. For example- let's say I work 9-1 Monday - Thursday. Now my kid is sick one Tuesday so I take off. No problem, I just try and work 9-3 the next few days until I make up my hours or work in the evening. Yes, it may be harder to find this type of flexibility and it may be a bit more stressful, but IMO, it shouldn't be THAT difficult to find and it's worth it in the long run.

amother

Banana

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 9:56 am

honey36 wrote:

I really agree with this. Life just gets more expensive, whatever money you earn will be very helpful. If you don’t need it now, invest it in the stock market or add it to your retirement savings.

Flexible jobs do exist.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 10:04 am

amother Coffee wrote:

This is a dream job. Exactly what I’d love. Very hard to find though.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 10:05 am

amother Mulberry wrote:

you don't seem like you are looking for a job if you are saying for maybe 2 hours a day. Usually to make real money need a bigger commitment than that.

Right. I’m not looking for a regular full time job.