Seeking someone to help hoarder

amother

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 3:05 am

A friend of mine has a major problem keeping her space neat. I don't know whether it's disorganization or not being able to throw stuff away, but her place looks terrible.
Does anyone know of someone I could pay to spend a few hours cleaning up her space, helping her throw stuff out etc? I would like to do this for her as a gift and I know she would accept and appreciate it.

Success10

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 3:12 am

If she has a true hoarding disorder, this is not going to help. She will feel violated with someone coming in to her space, and even if she allows the stuff to be tossed, she will quickly replenish the supply of "stuff". It's really sad to watch, but it needs real internal work to figure out what void she's trying to fill.

If she just has executive functioning issues, an organizer might help, but someone needs to be on top of her to maintain it.

amother

Pansy

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 5:53 am

Hi OP,

I am a professional organizer, yet, I don't go into houses to clean up. I teach them the skills to be able to do it in their own- forever.

I did go in to one hoarder in the past, but I quickly realized that my work for her won't get anywhere. I had walked in a while after chanukah and all her chanukah stuff were still laying around, the house was beyond loaded. Every inch was a mess. She didn't want to let go of any item (it took lots of talking, coaching and guidance) to get her house in order. The next time I came back, one week later, her house was almost back to square one.
What a hoarder needs in "coaching, guidance, support" on how to do it herself so that she learns techniques and a new way of life. Hoarders have a hard time parting with things or know how to keep organized.

This woman whom I went to twice told me that after our 'phone sessions' she came to a much better place and is now able to handle her house all on her own. She learned skills on how and what to let go of.

Though as a start, it's not a bad idea to actually go in and show them how to do it physically. The outcome is better when you show them the way rather than doing the work for them.

You can reach me at RSCoachingNY@gmail.com

amother

Tealblue

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 9:53 am

What Success and other posters said, and also even if you do get her help to throw things out in no time she'll be back to square one because she didn't do the emotional work (and it is always emotional).

There is a 12 step program called CLA- Clutterers Anonymous, it's work but it really helps. She needs to do this herself.

amother

DarkMagenta

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 1:48 pm

Step carefully. Even though you believe that your friend would appreciate the gift, chances are excellent that she would see it as intrusive and controlling on your part as well as on the part of the organizer, not to mention that the improvement would be temporary at best. The impetus must come from within, iow she needs to reach out for the help herself, and the pro must teach her what to do and follow up afterwards, not come in, clean up, and leave. Otherwise within a month there will be no sign that anything was done, and your friend may bear a perpetual grudge against you. Ask me how I know.