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Forum
-> Working Women
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:55 am
I am in a salaried position in a (frum owned) business where my salary is calculated according to my “hourly” rate. I have recently learned that some of my coworkers are getting paid a lot more than me, like up to 40.00/ hour more. I have equal experience to them, but they have much larger families than I do. I am curious to hear how others feel about this. On one hand, if I were single or struggling with infertility, I think I would feel like this is really unfair. On the other hand, I went to graduate school at a younger age than these coworkers and therefore have a smaller family size than they do. I understand they need a lot more money than me to live, especially because they are making bar mitzvahs etc. My husband works for a frum business and they have a similar approach to salary. He heads a team with someone who is ten years older than him (though not much more experienced) and has a much larger family and he is getting paid accordingly. Does anyone else work for a company that does this? I can’t really approach my boss about this because we aren’t supposed to discuss salary, but I am curious to hear other’s opinions on this.
I want to add that I work a lot harder at this job than my coworkers because I have more time to devote to the job as well as continuing education. They are very open about the fact that I am more dedicated to the job than they are.
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amother
Nasturtium
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:56 am
Tell your boss you had Quints.
I don’t think it makes sense at all.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:58 am
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Nope doesn't make sense. You are paid for your job not for the amount of kids you have. I would speak to your boss and ask for a raise.
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amother
Nasturtium
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:59 am
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watergirl
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:01 am
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You went to grad school, you have experience, a degree, and skills. There is no reason you have to subject yourself to workplace discrimination like this. Take your résumé somewhere else that does not break the law. Get paid for what you bring to the workplace, not what your uterus produces.
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amother
Bellflower
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:01 am
| amother OP wrote: | I am in a salaried position in a (frum owned) business where my salary is calculated according to my “hourly” rate. I have recently learned that some of my coworkers are getting paid a lot more than me, like up to 40.00/ hour more. I have equal experience to them, but they have much larger families than I do. I am curious to hear how others feel about this. On one hand, if I were single or struggling with infertility, I think I would feel like this is really unfair. On the other hand, I went to graduate school at a younger age than these coworkers and therefore have a smaller family size than they do. I understand they need a lot more money than me to live, especially because they are making bar mitzvahs etc. My husband works for a frum business and they have a similar approach to salary. He heads a team with someone who is ten years older than him (though not much more experienced) and has a much larger family and he is getting paid accordingly. Does anyone else work for a company that does this? I can’t really approach my boss about this because we aren’t supposed to discuss salary, but I am curious to hear other’s opinions on this.
I want to add that I work a lot harder at this job than my coworkers because I have more time to devote to the job as well as continuing education. They are very open about the fact that I am more dedicated to the job than they are. |
Just to comment on the bolded - it is illegal to prevent you from discussing salary. It is a right that you have.
https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlr.....tion.
(I don't think family size is a protected class, so that is probably not illegal. Not saying that it's a great idea though)
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:02 am
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I would be really, really mad.
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amother
Blueberry
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:05 am
| amother Bellflower wrote: | Just to comment on the bolded - it is illegal to prevent you from discussing salary. It is a right that you have.
https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlr.....tion.
(I don't think family size is a protected class, so that is probably not illegal. Not saying that it's a great idea though) |
It is 100% illegal to have a wage discrepancy based on number of children when doing the same work. It has nothing to do with protected classes.
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singleagain
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:07 am
I agree with everyone else. It is wrong and illegal.
I'm a single person working at my job. If I found out that the person who is married in the same position married with kids was getting paid more than me, I would be super pissed off.
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watergirl
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:09 am
| amother Bellflower wrote: | Just to comment on the bolded - it is illegal to prevent you from discussing salary. It is a right that you have.
https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlr.....tion.
(I don't think family size is a protected class, so that is probably not illegal. Not saying that it's a great idea though) |
Paying more because of family size, or paying less because of family size - it’s workplace discrimination and 100000% illegal.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:09 am
| amother OP wrote: | I am in a salaried position in a (frum owned) business where my salary is calculated according to my “hourly” rate. I have recently learned that some of my coworkers are getting paid a lot more than me, like up to 40.00/ hour more. I have equal experience to them, but they have much larger families than I do. I am curious to hear how others feel about this. On one hand, if I were single or struggling with infertility, I think I would feel like this is really unfair. On the other hand, I went to graduate school at a younger age than these coworkers and therefore have a smaller family size than they do. I understand they need a lot more money than me to live, especially because they are making bar mitzvahs etc. My husband works for a frum business and they have a similar approach to salary. He heads a team with someone who is ten years older than him (though not much more experienced) and has a much larger family and he is getting paid accordingly. Does anyone else work for a company that does this? I can’t really approach my boss about this because we aren’t supposed to discuss salary, but I am curious to hear other’s opinions on this.
I want to add that I work a lot harder at this job than my coworkers because I have more time to devote to the job as well as continuing education. They are very open about the fact that I am more dedicated to the job than they are. |
If salary is calculated by how much we need versus the amount/quality of the work we do, sign me up!!!!
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amother
Latte
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:15 am
I think with info you should feel empowered to go into the bosses office and say these are my qualifications and that the going rate is xxx amount.
You need to talk up for yourself
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peace2
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:19 am
This is where frum workplaces break down IMO. Makes me happy to work for a secular company where my salary is based solely on my qualifications and skills, not my marital status, children, or tuition and housing costs.
Tzeddakah is given according to needs. Salaries are given according to abilities and contribution to the company.
Bring it up with your boss and if you can't get a raise proportionate to what you should be making, I would find elsewhere to work
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amother
DarkOrange
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:19 am
I also think the logic is off. You can be saving and investing now because you started younger bh. Why would you be working at a lower rate?
Crazy.
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amother
Magenta
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:22 am
A thousand times no, this is not correct. Its not so uncommon in schools (think married women getting paid before unmarried women). It's the same thinking and it so not right. People should be paid for their worth and how much they bring to the company. A boss deciding how much to pay his workers based on their financial that he can see and imagine makes me sick.
Apologies if this is too much of a strong reaction, this scenario is something that really really annoys me.
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kenz
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:29 am
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I work for a frum company and everyone in the same position earns the same amount, regardless of personal factors, which is as it should be. I used to work for a company like this and people would come in and ask for a raise after they had a baby, even if they wanted to work less hours, because they needed the money. It was absurd and the company did eventually figure that out. A person is not more entitled based on their marital status or amount of offspring.
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notshanarishona
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:33 am
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I would quit and go somewhere where you can get paid your worth
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amother
Outerspace
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:42 am
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I have this struggle. I know people aren't paid equally where I work. I think men are paid more. Completely illegal and unfair. But I can't confirm because the men won't discuss their salaries as they are too protective over the company.
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amother
Garnet
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 10:01 am
This is klal yisroel taking care of klal yisroel. What is more beautiful than that?!
I’m really perturbed at others responses on imamother. So sad to think like those responses.
And just saying, I’m 25 yes old, have a masters degree, have 2 kids and can’t have more kids.
I still think it’s beautiful. Mi kiamcha yisroel. I would be happy to see that those with large families are being taken care of.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Thu, Jan 04 2024, 10:06 am
| amother Garnet wrote: | This is klal yisroel taking care of klal yisroel. What is more beautiful than that?!
I’m really perturbed at others responses on imamother. So sad to think like those responses.
And just saying, I’m 25 yes old, have a masters degree, have 2 kids and can’t have more kids.
I still think it’s beautiful. Mi kiamcha yisroel. I would be happy to see that those with large families are being taken care of. |
Your conflating tzedakah with working jobs. That's not the way it works because you end up hurting the rest of society based on misguided tzedakah concepts.
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