Culinary Conundrum: Tips for Picky Eaters?

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:31 pm

My kids are very picky eaters. They each have very few foods they like, but of course, not the same as their siblings favorites Wink

If you have kids like this that refuse to eat supper, what do you do? Not allow any other food? Offer other options?
They would literally eat cookies and snacks to replace supper, or just bread for breakfast, lunch, and supper...

amother

Holly

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:33 pm

First thing, counterintuitive as it seems, is to eliminate unhealthy snacks. Just stop buying them cold turkey. They can eat whatever healthy stuff you have in the house - cheerios whole wheat bread,fruit, etc.

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:37 pm

amother Holly wrote:

Thanks, they would have no problem eating cheerios and bread for each meal.
I'm wondering if its ok to push them to eat their protein at supper.
Is that the right approach or will they end up having a bad relationship with food because of it?

BrooklynBee

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:37 pm

Really a tough call. I've heard a lot of ppl talk about the division of responsibility- you decide what, where, and when and the kids decide if they want to eat or not. However, as a therapist, I've seen picky eaters who are resentful of their parents and feel like they are not taken care of cuz they have no food options that they like. I would try to make sure they have options that they like available (sandwiches, frozen pizza etc.)

BrooklynBee

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

you can never force anyone to eat anything. I would try to find proteins that they like (eggs, fish sticks, yogurt etc.)

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:42 pm

BrooklynBee wrote:

you can never force anyone to eat anything. I would try to find proteins that they like (eggs, fish sticks, yogurt etc.)

So what if the total repertoire of foods that your kids like consists of maybe 2-3 proteins, and that might include things like yogurt and fish sticks which are not the healthiest things to eat every day.

Practically speaking, would you consider it healthy for your kid to eat yogurt for breakfast, plain rye bread for lunch, and fish sticks or peanut butter for supper every single day of the week?
Is that enough protein, health wise?
Also will that make the eating restrictions worse?

amother

Holly

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

We worry too much about protein. That's fine. If anything, I would put my effort into having cut fruit and vegetables lying around - no pressure, just easy to grab and in your face.

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:46 pm

amother Holly wrote:

We worry too much about protein. That's fine. If anything, I would put my effort into having cut fruit and vegetables lying around - no pressure, just easy to grab and in your face.

So they don't eat fruits or vegetables either...

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 12:56 pm

Ugh it's so so hard and there's so much judgement from people who don't have picky kids! One of my kids is super picky and the others are regular picky. What I've been doing is making sure there's at least one meal component everyone will eat, and then they can have a different fruit/veggie if they don't like the served one. (Ex: if they don't like green beans, they can have an apple). If they're still hungry they can have something from the fridge or cereal (I'm not cooking anything else).

Also this is prob controversial now but if we're having dessert that night, people who don't eat dinner don't get dessert. They don't have to clean their plate and they don't have to eat what I made (so if dinner was pasta, fish, and green beans and they had some pasta and some apple, okay). But dessert comes after dinner, so if you don't eat anything at all, it can't be dessert.

amother

Jean

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 1:34 pm

I have one super picky eater. Now, I just let it go. After therapy, he now eats some store-bought food and he will eat by a kiddush in shul. I'm not spending any more money on therapy, nor am I spending effort on angst that will ruin our relationship. There is food, he is not hungry, and he is growing well. I don't dwell on it anymore.

I send regular unhealthy snack bags to school so he is like everyone else. Sometimes he eats school lunch, sometimes he skips it.

When he comes home, he can have pasta, tuna (only a couple times per week), whole wheat cheese sandwich, scrambled eggs, yogurt or apples. Those are the things he eats. He can't have snack bags or anything like that. Once in a while, he will surprise me by wanting something fleishig I've cooked, but very rarely - like maybe once in 3 months. I make an effort to stock the things he likes, but not crazy. If I didn't cook up elbow macaroni, he will have to choose from what I have.

My only food rule is that once you go up to bed, there is no more food available anymore. So if you tell me at 8:00 that you're hungry, you will have a big breakfast in the morning but nothing more at night.

mandr

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 1:37 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Try to involve your kids in cooking and meal preparation.

This! My 2 year old never ate schnitzel when I served it for supper, and I offered it many times. Last night I let him help me prepare them. he spooned crumbs over all the chicken pieces and was thrilled. When I brought them to the table he surprised me by grabbing one, eating it, and then taking another!

amother

Pear

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 1:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

100% perfectly fine menu to eat every day.

You should give him what he wants, and keep offering other foods. Keep offering again and again without pressure.

If he eats his safe foods and then doesn't want anything else, that's fine.

Also, little kids get enough protein usually... they don't need that much.

Also... give a multivitamin.

mha3484

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 1:43 pm

I was a reallllllly picky eater as a kid and now as an adult I eat everything.

I didn't eat marinara sauce until 10th grade. I didn't eat more foods then I ate. I finally ate a meatball in college when I was becoming frum and realized that it was eat what is served or be hungry. That was a maturing experience for me and I branched out a lot after that.

It was 100% a response to to a lot of challenges I had as a kid. ADHD, learning issues, social challenges. I had a lot of stuff that I could not control so I used food to feel like I could. As my life got better in high school and then college I became a much more adventrous eater. Now I will try almost anything.

I have a kid that actually is a decent eaters in that he likes most foods but he makes crazy about eating in other ways and honestly I think it comes from the same root. He has a lot of anxiety so he uses food. For him division of responsibility takes the power struggle away and I think it makes a difference.

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 1:45 pm

mha3484 wrote:

This is so interesting. I definitely see my child eating fewer foods when he is more anxious. I never connected the two.
This is very helpful to think about.

giftedmom

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

My kids are very picky eaters. They each have very few foods they like, but of course, not the same as their siblings favorites Wink

In addition to regular supper I always have acceptable alternatives. Those include soup, turkey roll, kugel etc. I also let them eat any part of the supper including only the side dish if they like. If your kids want bread have them put protein on it like pb, sliced cheese, egg slices etc.

giftedmom

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have a sister that had a similar diet (less foods than this) well into her teens. She’s eating a lot more now and is perfectly healthy.

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:14 pm

The replies are giving me a lot to think about, thank you so much!

Currently, I require my child to take one bite of the protein, then he can eat whatever else he wants from what I made for supper.
I don't offer any other food.
There are usually three options to choose from but often all are not foods my child likes.

I'm not sure if this is the right approach but sometimes I feel that if I don't have them try new foods, they never will.

amother

Holly

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 3:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

So they don't eat fruits or vegetables either...

I assumed they don't eat fruits and vegetables. That's why I didn't write, have them eat fruits and vegetables. I wrote that you should have fruits and vegetables conveniently lying around. They might surprise you and eat it sometimes. You might eat it sometimes. Either way, you'll get across the message that fruits and vegetables are good to eat much more effective than nagging.