Your best advice...

livalittle

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 12:31 am

What would your best piece(s) of advice be to a mom-to-be of twins in terms of labor, delivery, recovery, how to prep., and the first weeks of mothering multiples? Oh, and losing the "twin skin"...?What should I know? What are some must-haves as far as baby products and beyond?

Another 2 more specific questions:

1-Is it possible to manage with just the help of my husband? I think that having sleep-over guests would just feel like a breech of privacy - it's not like I would wake them in mid night when babies are crying to help anyway- I'd have to be extra careful abt tznius - say everyone would be hanging out in living room (off our master bedroom) at 11 and I'm wanting to sit on couch and nurse in nightgown without making sure that I dont have one strand of hair uncovered...I'm just limited to bedroom if I have my in-laws over...I want to have a couple of days to just be family and adjust to our new life IYH.

2- Do you think it's okay for two babies to sleep in one cradle? (I know everyone suggests the portacrib or pack n plays, but I have a thing for cradles - I think they are so sweet and I've wanted one since I got preg the first time...)

Looking forward to hearing what you have to offer...!

RachelEve14

Fri, Aug 08 2008, 10:58 am

I am going to try to write now, assuming the baby stays happy for 2 minutes. If not bli nader I"ll come back and finish up after Tisha B'av.

I didn't have any help for my twins, they were my first. It was doable. I did have some food delievered which was nice, and the girls at the sem made challot for me for about 2 months. It was wonderful, not having to rush out Friday to get challot.

If it makes you uncomfortable, please say no to overnight guests. Maybe they can stay in a hotel, but if you don't want them in your house overnight just say thanks we're nuring anyway so I won't really need so much help at night, but I'd love to have you visit during the day. My twins were born at 35.5 weeks after no signs of premature labor, so you really never know when they are going to come. I would wait until the babies get here healthy (b'sha tova!) and then let the proud grandparents make plans.

As far as food, if you are up to cooking now and storing in your freezer, that is great. If you are close with your IL maybe ask her point blank to come and cook for you either now before the babies come, or after the birth. My MIL brought me tons of soup (my twins were born in Shvat) and it took me through the cold winter days.

As for a cradle, if you want one go ahead and get one! It might not last for long esp. if your babies aren't preemie, but you might find it handy for napping 1 at a time for a while (I had one nap in my room and 1 in their room at one point because they would not nap together and they woke each other up). You can either keep it G/d willing for more children or sell it.

I had 1 bouncy chair and 1 swing. I would start with 1 of everything (excpet carseats if you have a car or take taxis). You can always buy another bouncy chair if it turns out they both love them kwim? Mine slept in 1 crib at night until they moved to beds, except a brief time when one girl decided it was a good idea to bite her sister.

B Sha Tova!

tovarena

Fri, Aug 08 2008, 1:30 pm

livalittle wrote:

What would your best piece(s) of advice be to a mom-to-be of twins in terms of labor, delivery, recovery, how to prep., and the first weeks of mothering multiples?

In terms of labor and delivery - be flexible. I so wanted a natural birth and ended up with a c-section because baby a was breech (well, actually frank breech). The majority of the time, twin births are going to involve more medical intervention than you might want, but as they say, if it results in healthy babies and health mommy, then do what you have to.

How to prep - gosh, there really isn't any way to prep that I know of. I mean, I did put together all sorts of stuff to take with me to the hospital for a natural delivery, but it all stayed in the car. Sad

I'd love to say sleep more to be well rested, but the last week or two before birth, I slept less, not more. I don't know if it was the discomfort, the hormones, or just G-d's sense of humor.

First weeks - as long as the three of you have clean clothes and food in your stomachs, very little else
matters. Seriously. I considered the first 8 weeks or so to be basically survival mode. If someone comes over and wants to help, ask them to run a load of laundry or fold some laundry or wash a few dishes. Whatever. Put your visitors to work.

livalittle wrote:

1-Is it possible to manage with just the help of my husband?

If you're referring to overnights, it's definitely doable. Carzy exhausting, but doable. We did have two brief overnight visitors - my mom when the babies were just over a week old for the first days of succos (she lives within driving distance but not walking distance), and one friend who visited when they were 9 weeks. But in both cases, they generally didn't do the overnights (I think both took one night just to give us a break). After a few weeks of sleeplessness, I was not in the best shape, but if you and DH can swap off from time to time, it's manageable.

For daytimes, I had my mom's help 4 days a week, around 8 or 9 hours a day, for the first 7 weeks. For the first 3 or 4 weeks, it was almost essential because DH didn't take much of a vacation (he works for himself so if he's not working, there's no money) and I was recovering from the c and we live in a two story house. And I am extremely comfortable with my mom so didn't mind nursing in front of her. She even helped me when I was trying to get the kids to latch on correctly. But if DH can be home with you for a few weeks, then that's doable as well.

Our community cooked two weeks of meals for us - including pre-fast yom kippur, break-fast, and two complete yom tovim. With all of the food cooked, I think we were eating from it for an additional week or week and a half afterwards. I really had no idea that the meals would be so helpful. I had already stopped doing almost any cooking by about the 7th month (about the time my arms no longer reached the sink shock

), so I figured if we'd managed then, we could manage afterwards. But they totally took a load off. If you have an offer of meals, totally take it! Especially if it happens to be around a yom tov!

livalittle wrote:

2- Do you think it's okay for two babies to sleep in one cradle? (I know everyone suggests the portacrib or pack n plays, but I have a thing for cradles - I think they are so sweet and I've wanted one since I got preg the first time...)

I don't see why not. Like RachelEve said, you may only use it with both for a brief period, but if that's what you have your heart set on, go for it. Just be aware of your cradle's weight limit. My babies were not small babies - 6'15 and 6'11 so using a bassinet for both of them lasted maybe a couple of months. Well, actually, before they got too big, DS was sleeping in his car seat because of reflux. And then they shared a crib from about 4 months until 7 months when I separated them because DS kept waking up DD.