Making Aliyah in the Summer, Son Worried about Safety

amother

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 5:02 pm

Hiya,

We are making Aliyah in the Summer from England to RBS. We are very excited, we've wanted this for a long time and we want to be there to help in any way we can. Tonight my son (7 years old) said he's scared to go to Israel in case he gets killed. I think maybe because of the war etc. That's all that he associates with Israel (he was very young last time we visited).

I was just so sad to hear that question, as if he would think that I would ever do anything to put him in danger. Then I worried maybe I am putting him in danger Can't Believe It

, I don't know! It's definitely not all good in England either which I didn't want to tell him.

I reassured him everything is going to be okay, Israel is strong and really special etc.

So I just wanted to ask from Israelis who live in Israel, do you or your kids feel afraid right now? Do Israelis have a different mentality or do you just feel safe when you live there? Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you

amother

Gray

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:55 am

We live in RBS. My 6 yr old DD obviously experienced Oct 7 and the weeks after.
At this point she's not scared. We have sons in the IDF and we know soldiers who have died but I only discussed the death of one soldier who she actually personally knows. Even when we have a connection to someone, I only read the news when she's in school, have my cry and move on.
We haven't had a siren in months.
She has a guard at her school.
Her school is fantastic with discussing the war appropriately, davening for the soldiers and hostages, etc.
They have a refugee child who joined their class after her city was evacuated.
So they're all definitely aware of what's going on but life is back to normal for the kids.

As far as I know, from my limited circle of her friends and my friends kids, most children are not really scared anymore.

Rappel

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:04 am

The kids feel really empowered - davening for soldiers, sending cards, giving things to soldiers etc. in my town, most of them have a dad/brothers in the army, too.

If my 7 year old could enlist tomorrow, he would. He wants to kill all the terrorists and protect the Jews, and then he wants to become prime minister and tell everyone how to run the country better.

Yesterday, we said tehillim after a friend was killed on the front lines. I explained to the kids why it was a serious day for me (they don't remember these friends, it's been a few years since we visited them), and my son immediately said "אז הוא גיבור.", and was proud of him. His questions afterward focused on how the soldier's wife would raise her kids, and how can we help her.

salt

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:05 am

Living in Israel definitely sounds more scary from far away.
Does he have cousins in Israel his age whom he could speak to or who could write to him?

Rappel

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:07 am

They are not helpless in a giant world; they're an essential and active part of geulah, and they know that.

I think part of why we feel safe is the obvious hashgacha pratit which goes on here. Everything shows us that Hashem is giving each person their mission, exactly as ordered.

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:28 am

Thanks so much, that's really reassuring. It sounds like if you're living there and going about your day and helping you are in a better place mentally than people watching from afar. I don't really know how to express that to him so I think he's just going to have to trust me and he'll see when he's there that he doesn't need to be afraid.

It does make sense that he's afraid as he's going from a country that he thinks is safe to one which is at war.

He wants to be a soldier when he's older but he also says he wants to make aliyah when he's older, not now. I'm sure he will love it there though, he just needs to experience it.

juggling

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:33 am

Can you get him an israeli pen pal? Hopefully someone who he will potentially be in class with next year? And he can write him questions about what life is like in Israel and hear the other kid's perspective.

ETA I see someone else already suggested something similar.

Success10

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 2:02 am

You're coming soon enought that this might not be feasible, but it would be great if he could just visit here first to normalize it in his head. Even to do facetime with someone and see them walking around in a normal place.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:13 am

OP, I dont know what hashkafah you have but Reb Chaim Kanievsky זצוק"ל always encouraged aliyah.
The Limud Torah protects us and there's A LOT of Limud Torah in RBS.
Take into consideration that it's possible to make aliyah but do it without citizenship. Once you do without citizenship you cant vote but on the other hand IDF won't draft you. I know one French chareidi lady whose small son didn't have citizenship in order for him to be exempted from IDF.

amother

Quince

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:26 am

Op you know it's safe and you're doing a good thing. Be confident in your decision that you are doing something great for your whole family. Your child will sense it.
Let him hear less rumors of news, and more positive productive talk, talk if excitement and what a zechus etc.
Do not ignore his fear. Hear him out and validate that it can sound scary from far away. Validate that there will be many changes and it will take a while to adjust. Tell him you'll be there for him. Be there for him.
You got this!

amother

DarkGreen

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:22 am

Oh how I wish we could go.

You are doing the best thing for your family. E"Y is the best and safest place in the whole world for Jews. Just keep showing him the love you have for E"Y and explain that while yes there is a war, the amount of people that actually get hurt or die from rockets is very minimal. Hashem decides our future no matter where we live. And Hashem gives extra shmira in E"Y.

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:26 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Can this be explained to a child? I'm not sure how an adult practically understands this.

Limud hatorah protects jews in EY....but jews are getting r'l killed in EY. How do you explain this to a child who's scared?

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 11:47 am

OP here, seeing your replies I really think it's a mentality thing. A young Jewish boy who is a tiny minority in England cannot fathom being protected by a strong Jewish army. Or why he would want to be. He can't see the whole picture.

England also has terrorist attacks and wars. I don't want to go into that with him though.

We were going to visit but our flights were cancelled. Elal is flying but it's much more expensive and we want to save up.

I think as people said sharing the positives and the everyday side of Israel is a really good idea. Like kosher food everywhere, the weather etc. PG he will get there and he will understand and feel safe and happy.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 2:56 pm

amother NeonOrange wrote:

It's written in Tzena ou Reena in parashat Balak I think "Their (the Jews) power is in their mouths"
When we busy ourselves with the Torah (gmara tehillim prayer etc) it protects us.
There was one non-religious lady in one of the kibbutzes on Oct 7th who locked herself in her safe room at home. She had a copy of Zohar at home and she sat reading Zohar for hours.
She was saved. Just one example of so many nissim that people have witnessed on that dreadful day.
Don't you ever pick up tehillim and read?