Boys are jealous of girls

giftedmom

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 2:49 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I could also say my boys go to school 6 days a week, they have a much more intense curriculum, they have school through July. My 7th grader gets on the minyan bus at 7:20 and he is one of the last stops. The first kid gets on at 7am, and doesn't come home until close to 5. They have more school days than the girls overall. I hate playing the who has it easier game everything in life has a tradeoff but I just don't go for the idea of a family trip which should create good memories is the way to explain that to them. It just makes them feel resentful.

And my 10 year old comes home 6:30. I don’t feel bad for him in the slightest. Boys are built different, and I needed to see it to understand. And like you said everything in life is a tradeoff.

mha3484

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 2:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

No day trip trampoline park and bowling plus movie and dinner

Honestly, OP my kids do these parks with day camp and scamp its not special enough to replace an over night trip. Maybe the restaurant if they are into food and the experience but I don't think my boys in 1st, 3rd and 7th grade would be super enthusiastic. Maybe you can find an activity they have never done before and that would make them less jealous?

amother

Azalea

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 2:53 pm

giftedmom wrote:

I mean boys get a huge party at 3 and then another huge simcha at 13 with tons of gifts. Girls get more off days so more outings.
Men and women each have their perks in life. I don’t see the benefit in trying to even everything out all the time.

Well we do try to even things out as girls have gotten bigger and nicer bas mitzvah parties.

amother

Azalea

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 2:55 pm

giftedmom wrote:

And my 10 year old comes home 6:30. I don’t feel bad for him in the slightest. Boys are built different, and I needed to see it to understand. And like you said everything in life is a tradeoff.

My 10 year old comes home at 4:45.

I don't see that my sons and daughters have hugely different schedules. And the boys do get jealous of the girls having Sundays off and some schools have shortened Sunday because of that.

behappy2

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 3:28 pm

I would take the boys out of school. What does strict mean? You just take them out and send a note the next day that you needed them home. No explanation. This isn't communism.

amother

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 3:56 pm

behappy2 wrote:

I would take the boys out of school. What does strict mean? You just take them out and send a note the next day that you needed them home. No explanation. This isn't communism.

We've done it last year, it wasn't pretty

amother

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 3:57 pm

Would it make a difference if girls are high school and boys elementary age? Bec sometimes older kids get more regardless

amother

Lightpink

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 3:58 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

And trade all the gifts and $ and attention too?

Most boys I know did not particularly enjoy their bar mitzvah attention. The money is a good point.

I'll ask my DH if he would appreciate giving up a few hundred dollars plus gifts as a 13 year old for a girls school schedule. Something tells me he would say yes... but I could absolutely be wrong.

giftedmom

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:03 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

My boys would go crazy on a girls schedule. Even the few hours between coming home and bedtime they don’t stop asking what they can do.

amother

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:06 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Any ideas of something more exciting? After reading responses I asked them for a better
idea and they said they don't know.

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:07 pm

behappy2 wrote:

I would take the boys out of school. What does strict mean? You just take them out and send a note the next day that you needed them home. No explanation. This isn't communism.

Have you read the vacation threads? 😂

amother

Camellia

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:13 pm

I won't go away without my boys when they have off. If it's when they are in school on a diff schedule I would take my daughter to beaches and waterparks even overnights that I can't do with the boys. But while they are on vacation they deserve an equally good vacation and we find something we can do as a family (this means my daughter loses out bec wed otherwise be doing a fun Beach vacation but I still think this works best to do a fam overnight that works for everyone

amother

Azalea

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:20 pm

giftedmom wrote:

My boys would go crazy on a girls schedule. Even the few hours between coming home and bedtime they don’t stop asking what they can do.

Funny, my dd keeps asking what she can do but my ds's entertain themselves. Must be a personality thing, which is very individual.

amother

Mustard

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:21 pm

Why can't they go away overnight. You said they are doing a day trip. So they can go the night before when they finish school, sleep in a hotel not too far away, and then do some activities before coming home.

giftedmom

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:37 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

Funny, my dd keeps asking what she can do but my ds's entertain themselves. Must be a personality thing, which is very individual.

In the bungalow colony all of us said the same thing. Boys don’t belong there above the age of ten. Somehow the girls always find something to do but the boys nag and get into trouble. They need structure.

amother

Bone

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

No day trip trampoline park and bowling plus movie and dinner

Can you plan an overnight for them for bein hazmanim iyh?

It’s really hard? My brothers were always super jealous and I totally get it (even though I think men overall have way better lives lol).

It doesn’t have to be even Steven but we try to do things like send boys to American dream water park when rented out on chanuka because girls got more vacation time.

amother

RosePink

Fri, Jan 26 2024, 4:47 pm

I didn’t know to count my blessings when my kids were younger. DS never complained about their overnights, Six Flags trips, Sundays off, endless vacations…

It’s for sure a personality thing.

P.S. When I open a school the girls will have school on Sundays, even just a half day. Just saying.

polished

Sat, Jan 27 2024, 1:23 pm

I don’t see why everything has to be fair and equal.
I’m interested how fair the helping out in the home is as well (obviously every home is different) but my observation is that it’s the girls who serve and clear shabbos tables. It’s the girls who tidy up from supper at the end of the night…. And hold the baby…

Do your boys do the same? And if as I suspect not… then the boys should know that life isn’t equal. Tough luck.
Lucky them not having to give birth lol

amother

Hyacinth

Sat, Jan 27 2024, 1:46 pm

In general the boys have way more programs, raffles, prizes, incentives and more. Avos uBonim, veHarev Na. Much, much more. Girls can get a night out.