If you’re a SAHM mom with a toddler - please help

teachkids

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 10:00 am

You have to sit with him and teach him how to play. You play with him for 10 minutes and then you can walk away for 5. But a 1 year old isn't going to play independently for long periods of time. You can also involve him in what you need to get done. He can come grocery shopping with you, he can "wash dishes" (aka play in the sink) while you cook dinner. Hand him a baby wipe to clean the sink while you clean the bathroom. Etc.

It may be also worth finding someone who has a similar age kid and exchange an hour or two where you watch each other kids for a bit to give you each some aloke time.

amother

Lightblue

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 10:29 am

This is not uncommon, especially with little boys. (I have several of each, and in my case this describes every one of my boys and not one of my girls. I'm sure there are exceptions, though.)

Getting anything done with a toddler at home is hard. I'm a WAHM but I keep my kids home until age 2 and work when they're napping/sleep at night, so everything has to get done when they're up. (Now that life is busier I do sometimes do things when my current toddler is sleeping. But with my older kids, that's how I ran things.)

Here's how I've gotten things done.

Folding laundry is a fun activity for kids this age. They hand you each item and you say "Thank you! That's Tatty's undershirt!" and fold it and wait for them to hand you the next item. Socks get the same thank you and get put into a pile to be paired later or when you're waiting for him to hand you the next thing and it's taking too long Wink

Cooking: Try to opt for recipes that aren't time sensitive, like sauteing things. Roasting is easier because you don't have to stand there and watch to make sure they don't burn, just put on a timer and check them once or twice. Any cutting or prepping I do while they're eating lunch (or eating anything, because they're confined to a high chair), and I try to do the major cooking for dinner earlier in the day so that I have time for interruptions. I then rewarm it or cook it the last bit right before dinner.

For cleaning I let them "help." We have a little kid's broom and they often want to sweep while I'm sweeping. I give them a damp paper towel to wipe down the table or whatever. When I'm putting a bunch of things away, I try to find things that they can put away too, obviously with me supervising which takes twice as long...things like "put this book into the book box" or "can you throw this paper into the garbage can?" They're usually willing to let me put away a thing or two in between them putting away things...

I also try to teach them important concepts, like "wait" and "Mommy first, then Yitzy." At the beginning I'm only asking them to "wait" a few seconds, and it's really hard for them, and it might even mean them kvetching for a few seconds, but that's okay. They eventually learn and it makes life so much easier. They learn that "wait" doesn't mean they're not getting it, or they're not getting Mommy's attention, it means they will get it "soon" (another good concept to teach them), which is easier for them to accept.

If there's a specific part of the day that's hard for you, please share, and I'll think about how I get it done. Just a disclaimer: All of the above will take MUCH longer than if you'd do it youself. Congratulate yourself on each thing that actually gets done, and don't feel guilty about the extra time...or about the time that you're just sitting and playing with your little one and not being "productive." You're raising a little neshama and that's the most productive thing you could do!!

BH Yom Yom

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:45 am

amother Lightblue wrote:

Thank you for writing this out!! I really needed to hear this today.

amother

Anemone

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 12:11 am

amother OP wrote:

Was wondering if it’s just a passing stage.

I feel guilty sending him out.

It depends on the child. I had kids that were fine at home till age 3-4 years old.
Then I had a kid that wouldn't play with toys, was going stir crazy at home & I started sending him out to a little group for 4 hours a day when he turned 2. It was very hard on me, but he absolutely loved it.
The days can feel very long when were home with littles. I try to go out at least every other day. Once the wether turns nice, it's playtime outside every morning till naptime & in the summer we do a kiddie pool & water table which kept my toddler busy for hours this past summer.