Is it normal for teens to do their own laundry?

happy7

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:40 pm

Because laundry is a lot of work, and my teens are completely capable of doing their own.
I help them on occasion, but they regularly do their own.
Any teen who lives away from home does his/her own. Why shouldn’t they be able to do their own at home?

mha3484

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:40 pm

I started doing mine in 10th grade. I was obnoxious to my father who did the laundry and he said you can do your own. I actually found that I liked doing it on my own schedule. I told my 13 year old I want him to know how to wash his own stuff but I wont make him do it all the time. I just think its a really good life skill to know how to do.

amother

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:44 pm

happy7 wrote:

Interesting didn't think of it that way
Which part of laundry is hard?

I think putting clothes on washing machine then dryer or hang up pretty easy

The folding and put away is hard so my kids do help.

Do you Teens do everything or are you only referring to last part of folding etc?
(I'm totally curious)
I would be hard for me to " share" my machine and not be able to do it when I want I could totally see my kids forget to put stuff in dryer ect

amother

Bisque

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:45 pm

My kids help with folding and putting away not washing. I don’t think it’s so normal. I also don’t think it’s a huge deal.

amother

Alyssum

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:45 pm

I do all the laundry here. My boys who are away in yeshiva do it there on their own. When they're home, I'm happy to do theirs too. Laundry is a skill that's acquired quickly when needed. I see no need to teach them to do it sooner than necessary.

amother

Birch

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

My kids are young so I am not up to this yet but my mother didn't want to share the machine or stick to a schedule. So I never did my own laundry when I lived at home.

amother

Viola

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:50 pm

my 13 year old started when she was around 9. I got tired of her yelling at me that she had no clean uniform skirts when they were hanging in her closet. having her take over removed the power struggles. she's now very happy that she does her own laundry. if she's sick or whatever I'll do it for her but most of the time she does it herself.

my current 9 year old doesn't because she's dealing with enough other stuff (medical.... ) that I don't want her having another thing on her head but I am looking forward for her to do her own as well. at one point she did it because she wasn't taking care of certain aspects of the laundry that she should have so I made her do all of it but it wasn't a long term solution, more like a natural consequence.

amother

Burntblack

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:50 pm

I do most of the laundry, but DH does a couple of loads a week and our teenager helps sometimes if asked. Knowing how to do laundry is a useful skill, but she has enough on her plate after school every day that I try not to over task her during the week. She mostly helps out on Friday afternoons.

amother

Diamond

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:52 pm

Growing up in my house the kids all did our own laundry. I learned how to around 14/15 and was responsible to do it myself, same with my younger siblings at that time. I didn’t mind so much, but I have some siblings who still resent it to this day. I do understand where they are coming from, because we were made to be “adults” long before we should have been

Personally I would not make my kids do their own laundry, until a a month before they leave the house and will be responsible for it on their own (yeshiva/sem etc). I’d teach them how to do it, same with cooking or other chores that are needed to be self-sufficient. But same way I wouldn’t force my kids to make their own dinner every night, I wouldn’t make them do their own laundry either

kenz

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:54 pm

A couple of my teens started doing their own laundry bc they started to want to be in charge of their own stuff without having to touch anyone else’s (freshly cleaned) underwear, etc. On their own they realized that either they pitch in with everyone’s laundry or they just take care of their own, so that’s what they do.
It’s not as amazing as it sounds bc you’re basically left with all the rest of the laundry to do. My kids who don’t care tend to not be around to help either, though if I’m persistent I can get some help. It definitely does amount to less laundry though. I don’t find that the timing affects me very often, we’re on such different schedules.

mommyhood

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:54 pm

I consider it my job but I tell my teens that I don't necessarily do laundry on the schedule that works for them so if they wore a sweater or a specific pair of socks on Monday and they want it again Friday it's their responsibility to make sure it's clean. I teach them how to use the machine and they will occasionally put up a load but more importantly it's cuts out them complaining that laundry isn't ready 'on time.'
They also are fully responsible to make sure dirty clothing is in the correct hamper, we have different ones for whites/colors/delicates.. I will not pick up big kids clothes from the floor.

amother

Green

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:55 pm

Many adults don't do their own laundry and need their cleaning ladies to do it for them...

My kids don't mind throwing their laundry in the machine. It's really no big deal. I help them put it away. It's all what you make of it. Teach your kid it's a huge chore and it will be.

amother

Apricot

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 2:01 pm

Actually, as my kids get older, more independent and generally seem to need me less, I find that doing their laundry is one of the ways I can still spoil them a little just because I'm their mom and I love them. That being said, I have one son who at about the age of fourteen just started doing his laundry on his own for no other reason than that he wanted to.

Another reason that I like to do everyone's laundry, is that I don't have to take anyone other (than my son's) laundry schedule into consideration and the machines are available whenever I need them. I am also able to fill up each load more economically. I fold up the completed laundry and place on everyone's bed to be put away.

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 2:11 pm

I taught my girls how to wash laundry as teens, because back in the day they went to Camp Bais Yaakov and you could do your own laundry there if you chose to (which is much better for your clothes, not to go thru camp laundry).

At a certain age (later teens) they chose to start doing their own laundry. I bought them a nice hamper for their room, and they found that easier - putting their clothes in and doing it once a week (their whites they still add to the family laundry).

Golde

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 2:21 pm

There are many takes on this. Mine is I want to do everyone's laundry together for efficiency and for financial reasons. Electricity prices are high. I always make sure to fill up the machine with everyone's clothes. If it were each man on their own, the machine would be going all the time, not being full. I also don't think it's much work and I like to be in charge.

My kids help out with other chores instead, such as vacuming, mopping, dishes. For us it makes much more sense to share those chores. But every family's needs are different.

I didn't do my own laundry growing up. It took me about 30 seconds to learn it when I moved out. It really isn't complicated to learn. I'm happy I had learnt to clean a house and keep it tidy though. But again do what makes sense for your family.

amother

Brickred

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 2:29 pm

When I was approx 14 my mother had a health scare, before we knew it was just a scare and BH not something serious she taught us all how to do our own laundry and since then we all did it, youngest was 12. It was great learning the responsibility and could do together with siblings if needed.
It definitely helped for seminary and for getting married it wasn't another thing I had to learn but a second nature.
My kids are still young so haven't thought yet of what and how I will do it for them.

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 2:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've read this a few times on this site.
Is there a reason for this? Why wouldn't the mother do everyone laundry?

Or father. I know families where the laundry is the fathers task.
Growing up, my father folded the laundry.
Its not always the mother.

amother

Skyblue

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 2:31 pm

First of all to answer if it's hard to do laundry. Well with bedrooms on the second floor and the machine in the basement, it's a lot of shlepping up and down stairs.

Interestingly, it was dh who insisted my teenagers do their own laundry. He started doing his when he was away in yeshiva and believes it's an important skill. I have more than 1 teenage ds who live at home so they have a rotation amongst themselves for their own clothes.

This also takes away any power struggles with them being upset something wasn't washed or me being upset their clothes are not put away or in the hamper. (Although they do sometimes argue with each other but sharing responsibility is another life skill to learn.)

It's already been a few years and I've received no complaints. And I think they are proud of themselves for having this skill and responsibility.