What would you do | Imamother

amother

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:27 am

Someone I recently got to know, sent her kid to me for the night. The kid had an accident and her clothes are wet. I know she’ll feel really bad if she finds out and I don’t want her to feel bad. Would it be appreciated if I wash the clothes or ppl have strong preferences with which detergents they use? The kid has a slight eczema issue and I’m not sure if she uses special detergents for her clothes.

amother

Grape

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:30 am

I personally wouldn’t wash. Put in a bag and send home. Also yes the parent has to be told .

MommyM

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:37 am

I think the mother should be informed, but if you're worried about her feeling bad, make it seem like no big deal. If there is something big going on in the family, like a new baby or medical issue in the family, it probably will be appreciated if you wash it. Even if they use a special detergent, they can always rewash, but until then they dont have to deal with the wet, smelly clothes if it can take a few days.

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:43 am

I thought you meant you don’t want the child to find out you know, did you mean you don’t want to tell the mother?

Wash the clothes, and send it back in a separate bag. Tell the mother the child had an accident and you washed it, you wanted her to know in case she wanted to re-wash with a different detergent

There’s no reason for the mother to feel bad about the child having an accident, and IMO it’s very important she knows

Personally I had these kinds of issues well into my teens. It was clearly a sign of my abuse that I wasn’t able to verbalize to anyone, and I wish my parents would have paid more attention

amother

Beige

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:44 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

I'd tell the mother and wash the clothes.

Same. And also I'd make it sound like no big deal. Which it is, because these things happen.

amother

Molasses

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:44 am

Make clear it was no big deal. I was doing a load anyway so I threw her clothes in.

But yes, tell her about the accident and that you washed the clothes.

teachkids

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:49 am

Only wash the clothes if you use free and clear type detergent. The scented stuff lingers. I needto soak and wash multiple times stuff that came scented.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:59 am

I had this. My friend took my child the night of my siblings wedding.
She threw out the underwear and washed the pjs. I was very grateful. I also just chuck dirty underwear.

yamz

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:12 am

Definitely wash the clothes. If you are worried about detergent and don't have any unscented, just throw the clothes in the wash without detergent. Then explain what happened to the mom and why you washed without detergent. The mom will rewash them with whatever detergent she prefers, but she won't have to deal with a bag of smelly wet clothes.

zaq

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:23 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

I'd tell the mother and wash the clothes.

This. The mother needs to know what happened, and if you have your own machine, it's not nice to send back contaminated clothes. Tell the mom which detergent you used and she can decide if she wants to rewash.

amother

Forsythia

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:27 am

Agree with the other posters to tell mom and wash, but hang dry in case mom doesn’t put things in dryer as that can shrink clothes.

amother

Indigo

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:29 am

If ur telling her anyway why can't you ask her what she prefers. Tell her your happy to wash it and u use tide or wtvr is that ok. She'll either say yes or that she prefers not Bec she uses a specific detergent