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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Should teenagers be charging friends?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:43 pm
Ds goes to an out of town yeshiva. One of the boys (close friend) drives a group back and forth each week.

A few weeks ago the driver decided that instead of everyone chipping in and paying for the cost of the ride, (gas and tolls) he wants to turn it into a business and charge what an uber would charge.

This doesn't sit well with me. Thoughts?
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:44 pm
Do you know what this boy's financial situation is like?
Who is paying for the car maintenence and car insurance?
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happy7




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:45 pm
If he charges as much as Uber, the boys can take Uber at their own convenience.
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amother
Eggplant


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:47 pm
If he has his own car as a teen (I'd personally be nervous to send my child on a long drive like that with a young male driver--just based on driving statistics--I'd prefer hiring an adult driver), I'd assume he needs the money for car payments or upkeep or maybe towards his next car, if this one is old.
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amother
Darkblue


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:49 pm
why shouldn't he. I mean it might be in his best interest to make it a little cheaper then uber as an incentive but driving back and forth is a wear on the car and personally I don't like driving so it would be wear on me as well Wink splitting gas and tolls on a regular basis, you mentioned weekly, doesn't really cut it for me.
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amother
Aster


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:05 pm
Why ever not ?
Driving other people is a big responsibility. Why should the parents feel they should get a free ride just because another boy is driving? Especially if it's a regular thing.
It's nice he did you a favor until now. Be grateful for that. He has no obligation to take the other boys, and if he does, he could charge them if he wants to.

On the other hand, once the boys charge him, he does have a greater level of responsibility. If, he can't just cancel without notice, he should full up on gas in his own time, etc.
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naomi2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:06 pm
It's not so nice to do this especially if it started off as a group effort chipping in. Maybe hey can take turns driving
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monseymom25




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:06 pm
He can do it if he wants too. It’s definitely within the realm of normal. And you can decide whether or not you want to use his services or find another way.
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:07 pm
amother OP wrote:
Ds goes to an out of town yeshiva. One of the boys (close friend) drives a group back and forth each week.

A few weeks ago the driver decided that instead of everyone chipping in and paying for the cost of the ride, (gas and tolls) he wants to turn it into a business and charge what an uber would charge.

This doesn't sit well with me. Thoughts?


His car, his rules. Maybe he does not feel appreciated enough.

If you think it's too expensive for you son (in case he is one of the passengers), find another solution.
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:12 pm
Well, how would you be getting your son home otherwise? You'd have to go pick him up or send and Uber for him, no? Why begrudge this young man from profiting from acting as a weekly car service?

I see no problem with it. If you'd rather not pay, go pick up your son. (And of course provide whoever wants a free ride home. Do it a few weeks in a row, and you might feel a bit more sympathetic towards your son's friend!)
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:12 pm
I think it’s fair if it’s always the same person. I wouldn’t think it’s ok to charge a friend for a one time ride but a kavua carpool is different
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:14 pm
Is he the only one with a car? And the responsibilities to pay the lease or maintain?

Then I hear it.
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amother
Currant


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:23 pm
I think he'd be smarter to charge a little less than an uber. But that's his decision. Your decision to pay, or find another method of transportation.
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amother
Blueberry


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:27 pm
I agree with what others said about him potentially having to pay for car maintenance insurance, etc.how else is he making money?

Maybe finances in his family are such that he has to pay for any extras, such as out to eat with friends, snacks outside of what he gets at school, etc. And he's trying to come up with a way to make some cash?

I don't personally think there is anything wrong with it, because it seems likely he needs it. Also, I'd rather pay a young frum friend than a random Uber/lyft driver.

And, if all the kids are chipping in to pay, how much are you paying for that anyway?

How far of a trip is it, and is he charging a fortune, or just same price as lyft/uber?
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ittsamother




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:34 pm
I think my feeling would vary based on whether or not the driver would anyway be going back and forth. If he's literally only doing the drive for the other boys, then yeah, charge for it cuz he could have been chilling instead of being busy driving and putting wear and tear on his car. But if he's anyway doing the drive no matter whether other boys come along or not, then charging Uber prices very much does not sit right with me. Would he prefer to do the drive on his own and pay the full price of the gas and tolls? He's putting the wear and tear on his car anyway, he's doing the drive anyway, this way he has company and saves some money on the gas and tolls. If he really wants to, he can charge a bit more than gas and tolls for the effort of driving. But to charge Uber prices, for his friends, for a drive he'd be doing anyway, seems a little cold to me. That's not how people treat their friends. Friends are not business opportunities.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:45 pm
It doesn't sit well with you?

Then don't use him and find a different ride for your son. He has to pay for car maintenance. Why shouldn't he get paid for providing a service?

Guys who give haircuts in yeshiva charge. Or cook. Why is this different?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:49 pm
Thank you for the responses!

For those that think this is reasonable, I have a question please.

If you were taking a long drive (let's say visiting day in camp) and the round trip cost around $100 in gas and tolls . If a friend asked you for a round trip ride, would you consider charging her for a profit?

Meaning if an uber would charge $100 each way, maybe give your friend a nice discount (since she's your good friend!) and only charge her $100 for the round trip.

If you wouldn't do this can you explain why you think an 18 your old boy can charge his friends but an adult shouldn't in a very similar situation?
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amother
Rose


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:51 pm
amother OP wrote:
Thank you for the responses!

For those that think this is reasonable, I have a question please.

If you were taking a long drive (let's say visiting day in camp) and the round trip cost around $100 in gas and tolls . If a friend asked you for a round trip ride, would you consider charging her for a profit?

Meaning if an uber would charge $100 each way, maybe give your friend a nice discount (since she's your good friend!) and only charge her $100 for the round trip.

If you wouldn't do this can you explain why you think an 18 your old boy can charge his friends but an adult shouldn't in a very similar situation?


A one time ride is different than doing it on a regular basis. Why do you think he should do it for free? Also yeshiva guys are always looking for a side hussle and way to make money so this is a great opportunity for him. Stinks for your son if he wanted a free ride, but he can make alternate arrangements if he doesn't like this.
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amother
Chambray


 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:54 pm
amother OP wrote:
Thank you for the responses!

For those that think this is reasonable, I have a question please.

If you were taking a long drive (let's say visiting day in camp) and the round trip cost around $100 in gas and tolls . If a friend asked you for a round trip ride, would you consider charging her for a profit?

Meaning if an uber would charge $100 each way, maybe give your friend a nice discount (since she's your good friend!) and only charge her $100 for the round trip.

If you wouldn't do this can you explain why you think an 18 your old boy can charge his friends but an adult shouldn't in a very similar situation?


The difference is if it's a regular thing or not. As a one-time thing, most people wouldn't charge. But frankly, if he's doing it every week, it's the other boys who are taking advantage of him.

Would you drive your neighbor's kid to school every day because you're going anyways? Or would you set up a carpool or charge for your effort? As an occasional thing, people will do the favor. But not on a regular basis.
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ittsamother




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:56 pm
amother Rose wrote:
It doesn't sit well with you?

Then don't use him and find a different ride for your son. He has to pay for car maintenance. Why shouldn't he get paid for providing a service?

Guys who give haircuts in yeshiva charge. Or cook. Why is this different?


Because like I said, a guy giving a haircut is not anyway planning on standing there running a trimmer thru the air for the next ten minutes- he's going out of his way and doing a service for you that he wouldn't otherwise be doing. If you hired a guy to cook meals for you, then ok, he's charging you, but if it's a group of friends dorming together and you all chipped in for the groceries and he's anyway making supper and just needs to throw in a few extra pieces of chicken it would be weird and money-hungry for him to charge you for that. So in this case if he's anyway doing the drive, it's weird for him to charge Uber prices in order for them to come along. If he had no plans to do the drive then yeah, they can hire him to drive them and pay the Uber price. (And in that case, think of it as "I'd anyway have to pay this money to an Uber driver, at least let my friend get to get the money". Though I still think it would be nice for the friend to give a bit of a discount since they're close friends. But that's his choice.)
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