Should teenagers be charging friends?

ittsamother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:59 pm

amother Rose wrote:

A one time ride is different than doing it on a regular basis. Why do you think he should do it for free? Also yeshiva guys are always looking for a side hussle and way to make money so this is a great opportunity for him. Stinks for your son if he wanted a free ride, but he can make alternate arrangements if he doesn't like this.

But he's not doing it for free, he never was. He was gonna have to pay $75 dollars in gas and tolls let's say, and now he only has to pay $15 cuz they all paid him towards that. That's $60 in his pocket each trip that he wouldn't have had if they weren't coming along. (Obviously I'm just making up the numbers.)

nachasmom

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:00 pm

The upkeep of the car and insurance cost money. It would have been mentschlich for the parents of the group of boys to offer to contribute instead of putting this boy into uncomfortable position of asking for money. If he is charging the price of an uber split amongst a group, it should not be that much.

amother

Rose

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:01 pm

ittsamother wrote:

Because like I said, a guy giving a haircut is not anyway planning on standing there running a trimmer thru the air for the next ten minutes- he's going out of his way and doing a service for you that he wouldn't otherwise be doing. If you hired a guy to cook meals for you, then ok, he's charging you, but if it's a group of friends dorming together and you all chipped in for the groceries and he's anyway making supper and just needs to throw in a few extra pieces of chicken it would be weird and money-hungry for him to charge you for that. So in this case if he's anyway doing the drive, it's weird for him to charge Uber prices in order for them to come along. If he had no plans to do the drive then yeah, they can hire him to drive them and pay the Uber price. (And in that case, think of it as "I'd anyway have to pay this money to an Uber driver, at least let my friend get to get the money". Though I still think it would be nice for the friend to give a bit of a discount since they're close friends. But that's his choice.)

So your son can find a different way home. Or get his own car, undercut his friend, and still make money.

Whether you think its right or wrong doesn't really make a difference this kid will do what he wants. But he has no obligation to give free rides to his friends. Would it be nice of him to charge less? Of course. But people don't always do the nicest thing.

ittsamother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:02 pm

nachasmom wrote:

Did he get the car and insurance in order to drive them, or whether they come along or not he'd have those costs anyway? I'm betting that one has nothing to do with the other and he'd have the car regardless. If they all stop going in with him is he gonna give up the car?

ittsamother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:04 pm

amother Rose wrote:

Why does everyone keep saying it's a free ride? OP was very clear that everyone's been paying in for gas and tolls. That's money he now gets to keep in his pocket, and that's money the other boys all had to pay. No one gave or had a free ride.

lamplighter

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:07 pm

He's doing the work. He's driving and has to focus on the road and has the responsibility of the car and the actual driving.
The division of the costs should not be equal at all.
If it's a once off or if the boys trade off driving thats one thing, doing this on a regular basis is probably annoying and instead of just being resentful he's charging.
Would it be nice if him to do it for free? Yes. Is it rude for him to charge? Absolutely not.

amother

Rose

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:07 pm

ittsamother wrote:

Splitting gas and tolls covers gas and tolls. It's not extra money for the guy driving. It's like calling an electrician and paying for the parts only and then saying you paid for the job...no you only paid for the parts he made no money you didn't pay for the service.

renslet

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:07 pm

My theory is that he can do whatever he wants, that's his choice.
You can choose what you want to do, go with him, get an Uber, get your own car etc.
I don't know why he made a change, possibly certain situations demanded it or he felt taken advantage of , who knows but that's his business.
Your business is your choice

ittsamother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:10 pm

amother Rose wrote:

So that's why I asked if he was anyway driving in every time. If he was going to be driving in every time to see his parents regardless, then he was anyway going to be doing that work, he wasn't doing it as a service for the other guys. Whether they came along or not he was gonna be doing the drive, paying the gas and tolls, putting the wear and tear... You can't compare that to an electrician who would never have come to your house at all, he only came cuz you hired him to perform a service for you.

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:11 pm

ittsamother wrote:

I own my house. If I go away for a week I should let someone use the space anyway. Without pay. Because I own the house and will pay my mortgage as usual and won't be using the space that week.

ittsamother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:20 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

I own my house. If I go away for a week I should let someone use the space anyway. Without pay. Because I own the house and will pay my mortgage as usual and won't be using the space that week.

Can you clarify why you are saying "without pay"? OP clearly said they paid. Gas and tolls.

I definitely know people who went away for Shabbos in the bungalow colony and were very happy to let their friends take the bungalow for the weekend if they covered the cost they were paying for those days. They didn't look to profit off it, they just wanted to cover what they anyway had to pay.

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:21 pm

ittsamother wrote:

Okay they should pay just for utilities they use...

It's really nice to allow it without profit. But it's reasonable to request pay.

amother

Lily

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:29 pm

ittsamother wrote:

I think my feeling would vary based on whether or not the driver would anyway be going back and forth. If he's literally only doing the drive for the other boys, then yeah, charge for it cuz he could have been chilling instead of being busy driving and putting wear and tear on his car. But if he's anyway doing the drive no matter whether other boys come along or not, then charging Uber prices very much does not sit right with me. Would he prefer to do the drive on his own and pay the full price of the gas and tolls? He's putting the wear and tear on his car anyway, he's doing the drive anyway, this way he has company and saves some money on the gas and tolls. If he really wants to, he can charge a bit more than gas and tolls for the effort of driving. But to charge Uber prices, for his friends, for a drive he'd be doing anyway, seems a little cold to me. That's not how people treat their friends. Friends are not business opportunities.

These were my thoughts as well. If he's also a bachur in the yeshiva, and would be doing the drive anyway, he can do it alone and pay the high cost of gas and tolls himself, or he can have company and help from others subsidizing his already existent cost.
If he was doing this as a favor, then I can see him wanting someone to pay towards the wear and tear, but if he's driving anyway, the sentiment doesn't sit well with me either, OP.

ittsamother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:32 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

Okay they should pay just for utilities they use...

It's really nice to allow it without profit. But it's reasonable to request pay.

I mean, if a good friend was going away for a week, and for some reason I needed somewhere to live for a week, and I asked her if I could stay in her house and she said yeah but you're going to have to pay me the same amount you'd pay a hotel, I'd be shocked and think less of my friend, for sure.

But either way this is so not a good analogy. It's a lot, to hand over your house and access to everything in it, to someone else. What if they have wild kids, what if they make a mess, what if they break things, what if they peek into areas that you don't want them to go... It's way different to let them just sit in your car for a couple hours, for heaven's sake.

Here are the levels I can think of:

Really, really nice: "Hey, I'm going anyway, it makes no difference to me if you come along or not, meet me out front each time at 12 pm"

Nice: "Hey, I'm going anyway, makes no difference to me if you come or not, but I could use some money towards the gas and tolls if you could chip in for that, but if not, I understand"

Normal: "Sure, I can take you, but make sure to send me your share for the gas and tolls, it's expensive!"

Capitalistic: "Yes, I'll take you, and let me calculate what is the most profit I could make off of you while I'm at it.

Everyone can view the world differently. I wouldn't look to make a profit off my friend over something I'd be doing anyway and is not requiring anything extra off me, but if that's the way this guy's brain works, great for him!

amother

DarkViolet

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:38 pm

ittsamother wrote:

ittsamother, I am nodding along with each of your posts. You saved me the tircha of putting it into words lol

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:40 pm

ittsamother wrote:

I happen to agree with you. I wouldn't charge for it, but I can understand why someone would.

amother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:44 pm

amother Rose wrote:

This is basically what I'm asking. I want to know if it's a nice thing to do. Nobody is saying he's not allowed to charge. Of course he is. But is it a nice thing to charge friends and make a profit off them?